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    Default Discipline/behaviour problems

    Hey guys!

    I'm just asking for a bit of advice, kind of. Sorry if this is in the wrong place.

    My five year old daughter is a nightmare at present. She won't listen to a thing I say. For instance, I ask her to come inside from playing in the backyard, instead she will lie on the ground and scream loudly and continually. Most of the screams are as though she is being hurt, I'm talking ear piercing shrieks.

    I've had the police called once as a result of these tantrums as somebody called them because they thought she was being abused. They arrived to find her mid tantrum and looked really happy to be leaving once they ascertained there was no abuse.

    She kicks and throws things. When she gets into these tantrums she loses all ability to control herself (or so it seems.) She pretends shes unable to walk and can continue the screaming for a good 20-30 minutes.

    Anything I ask her to do is ignored or purposefully disobeyed. I've tried taking toys away, even not letting her go to a neighbouring house to play with their daughter. This does nothing but make it worse and prolong the screaming and door kicking. She oft times tried to run out of the house after I tell her she cant go outside/play with her friends. She the keeps gong with the awful behaviour like kicking,punching, biting etc whilst intermittently telling me she'll only stop if I do what she wants.

    This happens at least 5-6 times a day, every day without fail. It's exhausting.

    I'm seriously at my wits end. I don't know what to do with her. is anybody else having this issue with their kid? What works for you guys?

    Thanks in advance
    Last edited by theotherpotato; 05-04-2014 at 14:55. Reason: spelling

  2. #2
    harvs's Avatar
    harvs is offline Winner 2014 - Spirit of BubHub Award
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    Has she started school? What is her behaviour like there? Is this recent or has she had this behaviour for a long time? Any recent changes in your life?

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    She started school this year.. By all accounts shes only like this with me and sometimes with her dad.

    The behaviour started about mid-last year but seems to have escalated in the last 5-6 months. People have tried to assure me that 'it's just a phase' but I'm starting to doubt that is the case at all.

    The only recent change I can think of is the starting of school, but yeah, the behaviour preceded it, so i'm really not sure. When I ask her why she doesn't listen/behaves that way she just says that she 'doesn't know' or that 'her brain just tells her to do it' which is hardly helpful :/

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    Something that I find helps my "headstrong" DD3 and avoid some of her melt downs is giving her plenty of warning about things. So if she is outside playing, instead of saying it's time to come in now I'll tell her she has to come inside in 5 minutes times, same for the bath (she hates getting out!). I set the oven timer so she knows when it goes off her time is up. Same if she is playing with something and I want her to put her shoes on and go to the toilet before we leave the house, I have to set the oven timer and tell her when it goes off it's time to get ready. For some reason this really works well for her, she likes to push the button to stop the timer going off and then will go and do what I've asked.

    She is desperate to have a lunch order from school so we are using that as a motivator at the moment - if she starts using her crying/whingey voice I warn her that it's not a "lunch order" voice and she has to talk nicely. 7/10 times she does stop, but she is finding it hard!

    Oh, and I should add she is much worse for me than she is for her Dad, and she never does it at school or for my parents! Frustrating, but I suppose I should be pleased she behaves when she is at school or with her grandparents!

    Goodluck!

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    I have an out of control child. Now i go to a child psych to learn how to deal with it in a non harmful way.


    I recommend it!


 

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