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  1. #31
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    I probably would have ceased contact after my first borns first birthday if no effort had been made..

    I've ceased contact with a lot of my friends and family for varying reasons.. I don't know if I could do it to my Mum though, so I understand how hard it would be to do so with your Dad..

    I agree with someone who mentioned a birthday catch up..
    But again, after 4 years I'd of given up completely..

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  2. #32
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    Hi Guys,


    Thanks all for your lovely advice. Just an update - I decided to write an email. I didnt go into the wedding I just said it was in our past and we decided to move on but that he has some wonderful grandchildren and if he wants to see them thats fine, if not please just tell me and I will stop hassleling him to catch up.

    Anyway agonised over it for hours pressed send and it was immediately bounced back. I know he still works for that company and that is still his email so I think he may have blocked me????

    I will see if -I can get email onto a text message and send but it was a MAJOR anti-climaz....feeling really disappointed
    Last edited by Meld85; 11-04-2014 at 13:16.

  3. #33
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    I'm so sorry OP, that sounds like such a difficult situation and it's very hard to deal with being disappointed by a parent.

    I was going to reply the same as many PPs to say you should email him but I've read your update.

    I would just send a text, wouldn't even go into the whole wedding thing or even mention that it's in the past or say the ball is in his court etc. I would simply say 'Dad I love you and miss you, and would really love for you to be in your grand kids life, my home is always open to you' Attach a cute picture and leave it at that. If he chooses to reply that's great, if not that's his choice too and as hurtful as it is, I would try to move on. You can't force him to be a good Father/ Grandfather, and trying to will only bring you more sadness and disappointment.

    I wish you the very best of luck, you sound like a kind, caring daughter and I hope he realises what he's missing out on.

  4. #34
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    Maybe it could be a simple thing of their server being down? I emailed someone at their work addy a while ago and it bounced straight back. I studied the addy - yep def right. I was thinking wtf? I then found out their server was down for a whole day. The next day it went through.

    Have you tried again today?

  5. #35
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    So for anyone wanting an update.... I sent through the email :-) I felt a lot better after doing so. In my mind I thought well if he ignores me at least he and I both know what he is saying iykwim.

    I basically said I am not living in the past anymore and this is the future and he is missing out on being a grandfather to two beautiful children. If he wants to cut contact I would be disappointed but at least I won't be hurt anymore when trying to contact him and being ignored.

    Anyway this was my response - please don't quite this as I will delete the reply in a day or so... You never know who's watching -


    My thoughts are the 'issues' are his wife...I am relieved that at least he has acknowledged that a problem exists instead of acting like it didn't.
    Last edited by Meld85; 08-05-2014 at 07:31.

  6. #36
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    That was a promising response from your dad! It sounds like he just has to whip his wife into shape first.. (Not literally). Fingers crossed it works out for you...

    Ps it doesn't surprise me that as a man your dad chose the path of least resistance (I know that's sexist....)

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    Starfish30  (07-05-2014)

  8. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunnyflower View Post
    I think your stepmum is destructive, dysfunctional and nasty.

    She falls neatly into the Im married to a man who has had a previous life before me and if I act nasty enough they all go away and I can have him to myself category. Sound familiar ?

    And your dad has no balls and won't stand up to her in order to have a good relationship with you.

    Let em walk....

    They already have...
    I feel I could have written this about my dad and his wife!

    Sent from my GT-I9305 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  9. #38
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    @Meld85 I can 100% relate to your situation in your original post.
    My father has 4 step grandsons who he has watched grow and taken out, I have an 11mo who has seen his grandfather a handful of times and they only live 40mibs away. My stepmother ignored me at my step nephew's 1st bday party and with my son's 1st bday fast approaching I am anxious about them coming.
    There comes a point when you have to walk away for your own well being and that of your family. It's never going to be easy but it's a choice you have or continue being let down and hurt. Good luck with it all x

    Sent from my GT-I9305 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  10. #39
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    Hi 1st time muma- I'm sorry to hear you are going through the same thing... It's the pits isn't it :-(

    Good luck with your sons 1st birthday.., they didn't come to either of my sons birthdays and I'm not even sure if I want to invite them to my daughters 1st bday...


 

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