As above is a good idea. Reach out to your dad and explain how you feel, gee even send what you wrote here. Man, what a sucky family situation, your step mum sounds like she pulls strings for sure and puts pressure on your dad, she sounds immature and jealous if not abusive to your dad in some way?? You landed in the middle and copped the brunt of your folks dysfunction, and your dads relationships dysfunction. How sad for him to be missing out like this. And for your family. Hope he reaches back. Xx
Far out OP how egocentric are these people!
one thing stand out to me:
a parent offering to pay/contribute to your wedding does not give them carte Blanche over how things play out. A wedding contribution from parents is just that - a no stings attached gift for you on your special day.
Im im sorry they are so childish I can't imagine how stressful it would be to deal with this. Speak to your dad in person, tell him your truth and share your hurt. You have done nothing wrong here.
FWIWI made him sound like a jerk but I can tell you a million stories on how good of a guy he is and I love him very dearly. The wedding was just one horrid event in my life - which if you knew him you would know was really out of character.
Its just every couple of months I text him with a date to catch up and they are busy - I ask if he can suggest a date and he either ignores me or if I can speak to him (he normally doesn't pick up) he says he will send dates asap and then doesnt get back to me.
Problem is I am like a girl with a crush and I look eagerly at my phone for a few days and when it is clear he isnt getting back to me I get really sad and then a few months later it happens again - its a vicious cycle for almost 4 years.I know I can just stop calling but then on my birthday he texts me like nothing is wrong and it gets my hopes up again.
I suppose I just want to hear it from him that he really doesnt want to see me or the kids again. Otherwise in the back of my mind I will still have hope and will then get keep getting disppointed when he doesnt contact me.
Be honest with him, but leave the bad experiences behind, you can't change them now, shape your future relationship. Kill SM with kindness.
You clearly love him so much, that's worth more than a tally board of misdeeds and worthwhile dealing with SM.
Keep your parents lives very separate too.
No doubt he's been wrong, but if you love him, you can forgive that, swallow your pride and the negative hurt they've caused you.
If any of my parents hadn't really bothered with be and not even met their 2yo grandchild, and they didn't live far away, yep, I would probably cut them off.
He's really under the thumb I suspect.
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