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  1. #81
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    OP, this man is not respecting you as a mother. I've been a fifo partner and a mother with a new born for a short time (with DP being away for 4 weeks at a tim) and yes they are working hard away, but you are also the sole carer for the children when they are away. 24/7 no nights off, plus you have to handle everything on the home front all alone. No one to help you carry the groceries in, no one to help when the kids are sick and so are you.

    Working, as well as having young children while being a FIFO widow is bloody tough. If my partner had continued fifo, or goes back to it, i won't return to part time work while my DS is small.

    That email was just disgusting, i would not be sticking around to put up with that.

    You ARE working, you are raising the children. If he earn's plenty of money to keep the family afloat, there is no need for you to work while your youngest is small.

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  3. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by RipperRita View Post
    And to think he has daughters.... How would he feel if a man spoke to them like that in the future?
    This was exactly what I was thinking! Bet he'd have something to say about it!

  4. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by kw123 View Post
    Some might say he IS being a grown up by doing a well paid job he hates to support his family and a wife who doesn't want to work??

    And I don't think someone has "the right" to stay home with children if they can only do so by being financially supported by another person who doesn't want things to work that way. It's not a right. At all.

    If it works for a family (and it does for many) then great. Otherwise, something has to change.

    Seriously, I would be unimpressed if my husband decided to give up work to look after the kids and left me being the sole breadwinner. No thanks!! I don't see why it should be any different the other way round.
    I disagree, the OP's youngest child is 1. At that age, it's not unreasonable at all to be home full time with your child, if you are able to be financially. It's not being lazy to expect that you can stay home with your 1 year old, if your husband is earning enough to support the family. Especially with a partner away for weeks at a time.

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  6. #84
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    Is there anyone here who thinks if the OP went back to work her hubby would step up and help out more? Because I can't see that happening.

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  8. #85
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    My hubby works FIFO and I stay at home with my 28 month old little girl. He has not once pressured me to go back.

    I took the opportunity to do study by correspondence. I am nearly finished my course and hope to get a job by the end of june.

  9. #86
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    I haven't read all the other comments.

    It does seem odd that he wants you to go back to work even though there is no real reason to. Is he FIFO? Do you think he could harbor resentment towards you because he has to go away and miss out on so much while you get to stay at home? Have you tried talking to him about the reasons as to why he wants you to go back to work.

    If it's about the mil, perhaps you could let her look after the kids while you do some errands every now and again. That way you are keeping him happy, but not losing control of raising your kids. An hour here and there should be enough to keep them happy.

    I'm sorry that he's being so blunt about it though, it's so unfair to call you lazy when you run the household with two kids by yourself! That's a full time job in itself!

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    Last edited by soccer mum; 02-04-2014 at 22:21.

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    Quote Originally Posted by soccer mum View Post
    I agree with this post, I think theres some good points. On 200,000K i find it hard to understand how you could need more money

    And it seems we have to reiterate in every.single.thread...working mothers raise their own children.

    ETa THAT comment was to the OP, not the PP
    Maybe he has huge debt that he's hiding from her and is too proud to tell his wife? It does happen! Especially if he is as controlling as he sounds, chances is he is controlling financially as well as emotionally and mentally. That email was truly horrible OP

  14. #89
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lincolns mummy View Post
    If my DF dared to speak to me like that he would come home to his s*** all over the front lawn and the locks changed.
    This.

    And no he doesn't push me to return to work. He has mentioned it once all the kids are at school but we agree that it will depend if he is still doing fifo as we dont want the kids in before/after school care.

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    My dh appreciates my role as a sahm as much as I appreciate him going to work. We are a team and we both work damn hard.

    The email is completely out of line and extremely hurtful. Hell let him pay for childcare, a cook, cleaner, someone to launder his clothing etc....the list goes on. See how much work his wife does then!

    The ops hubby specifically called her lazy but ge is happy to pay the mil for looking after their children

    Sent from my GT-I9305T using The Bub Hub mobile app

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