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  1. #51
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    There's a bit of a lack of appreciation and understanding of what each partner does I think. A little give both ways would go a long way.

    His email is completely out of order but I kind of find your attitude towards his working away and his job a bit flippant too.

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  3. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    I don't think you do appreciate how tough your hubby may have it. You are just flipping his job off like it is a holiday. In contrast I look at the description you wrote and think that would be a hellish job for me. Being away from home sux. Staring out a window all day would send me nuts, I would feel like I was unchallenged. Adjusting to having two lives ... I couldn't handle that.

    Sorry but I think you need to step back and try and see where your hubby may be coming from.
    To be fair though, I'm not sure what the husband hopes to achieve.
    OP has not stated that he wants her to go to work so he can reduce his hours. He just wants a higher income.
    I appreciate $200K is a good income, and if you have loads of debt, can be sucked up quickly, but what us his point?
    I agree his job sounds terrible.
    Just sounds like he is acting like a very nasty piece of work at the moment.

  4. #53
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    If my DH said those things to me I would have left a very long time ago.
    You are not a maid or a prostitute so I don't see how he could demand those things and expect to still have a wife at the end of it.

    I give my DH respect and I expect that he will treat me the same. Any less and we wouldn't be together.

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  6. #54
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    It's a respect issue really. If he wanted OP to go back to work, he should sit down and have a nice, respectful conversation about it, not resorting to calling you lazy. You are a team, these are joint decisions that you should both have input into, but it should be respectful.

    That email is inexcusable. I would leave my hubby if he ever spoke to me that way.

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  8. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by ozeymumof5 View Post
    I can't believe the posters saying she should compromise? No way!!! $20000 income and the ONLY reason he wants her to go back to work is so she can be MORE of a wife??? Get real! That's pathetic. He chose her to be the mother of his children and they obviously don't need the extra income. He's just a control freak. He's away 5 weeks at a time...the op has the kids on her own, that's a full time job itself ontop of all the housework.
    Money isn't everything. A $200,000 per year job isn't worth it if it sends you nuts and leaves you with no home life. I'd rather have less money and have a life with my hubby.

  9. #56
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    Then hubby needs to change his job...and not dis his wife and mother of his children. He's going about this the wrong way.

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  11. #57
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    @Offshorewife, do you think that your DP is unhappy with his job? Does he want to change careers? Would you be supportive of that?

  12. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by jesssalee View Post
    It's a respect issue really. If he wanted OP to go back to work, he should sit down and have a nice, respectful conversation about it, not resorting to calling you lazy. You are a team, these are joint decisions that you should both have input into, but it should be respectful.

    That email is inexcusable. I would leave my hubby if he ever spoke to me that way.
    Perhaps I'm misreading the email. But I didn't get the impression the hubby was calling the OP lazy. Or that he was bagging stay at home mums. I got the impression that they has been arguing for quite some time about this issue (perhaps both sides have been a bit bold?... I would be interested in the specific events that led up to the email). I got the impression that the hubby was lashing out because he was stressed and didn't want to be the sole bread winner. And to be honest I think it's ok for the hubby to feel like that. And in lashing out (in response to the ongoing argument and lack of compromise) he crossed the line of inappropriateness.

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  14. #59
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    I wouldn't do it because my husband said so but... I do think women trying to get back into the work force asap is hood for them. The longer you stay out the more you diminish your chances of returning. I would go to work for my own benefit.

    Sent from my C6903 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  15. #60
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    I just read the email and I think he makes a valid point... That while you rely on his money you belong to him... I'm not saying that's right but I think it's all the more reason you should better yourself and find some independence should one day you want to leave and you can't actually stand on your own without his help...

    Sent from my C6903 using The Bub Hub mobile app


 

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