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  1. #31
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    There is probably an underlying issue but that doesn't give him the right to be an asshat. I wouldn't put up with it.

    How long is he home for after the 5 weeks on?

  2. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshorewife View Post
    This was an email i just received from him. I think im going to pack my belongings!!!!

    Look up house wife in the dictionary - if you want to be one and live by the rules the man makes the money fine - I expect a hot cooked meal every night as well as breakfast and lunch, the house to be cleaned daily, my clothes to be washed folded and ironed and put away. you to **** and suck me like a "house wife" should if you can't do that then clearly your not a "house wife" and clearly I shouldn't be the only bread winner.
    Even if he's being a smart @$$... That is way out if line. If my DH said that I'd be kicking him and his sh!t to the curb

  3. #33
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    He sounds like an ar$ehole with a too good of a life....give him something to cry about, move out for a while and let his mum look after him....atleast he poos in the toilet so mum doesnt need to change his nappy! My dh would be very sorry if he ever said that sh!t to me

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  5. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshorewife View Post
    I appreciate the fact that he works away and provides an income for us, but its not as if he has it tough! he is an officer on a ship. The contract he is currently on means he sits and stares out a window majority of the time there is no hard labour involved. His washing his done and his meals are cooked by a chef.. breakfast lunch dinner and dessert. Then when he gets home he goes and visits all the friends in the world, sleeps in whilst my workload doubles.
    I don't think you do appreciate how tough your hubby may have it. You are just flipping his job off like it is a holiday. In contrast I look at the description you wrote and think that would be a hellish job for me. Being away from home sux. Staring out a window all day would send me nuts, I would feel like I was unchallenged. Adjusting to having two lives ... I couldn't handle that.

    Sorry but I think you need to step back and try and see where your hubby may be coming from.

  6. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshorewife View Post
    This was an email i just received from him. I think im going to pack my belongings!!!!

    Look up house wife in the dictionary - if you want to be one and live by the rules the man makes the money fine - I expect a hot cooked meal every night as well as breakfast and lunch, the house to be cleaned daily, my clothes to be washed folded and ironed and put away. you to **** and suck me like a "house wife" should if you can't do that then clearly your not a "house wife" and clearly I shouldn't be the only bread winner.
    I have no words..

  7. #36
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    My husband would have to have had a personality transplant or have been body snatched by aliens to ever speak to me like that - regardless of whether we were arguing or not. I'm a business partner but my primary role atm and until my youngest is at school is as a SAHP (not a housewife) and DH is fully supportive of this.

    Your DH clearly places no value on the role of a SAHP and seems to treat you with no respect at all.

    I'd be having a really big chat (with a ship load of professional help thrown in) to try and figure out your priorities and values as a couple and as a family.
    Last edited by misskittyfantastico; 02-04-2014 at 20:31.

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  9. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Yeah it's a dicky email but it sounds like you two are in the middle of an argument and he was just trying to use sarcasm to score a point. I don't think it sounds like he is seriously down on housewives.

    Perhaps he is stressed beyond belief working away for 5 weeks at a time ... That would be hell for me. Perhaps he wants you to earn some money so he doesn't have to have a $hit job and be stressed. I might get flamed for this but I don't think it's fair for you to not compromise on this. Why can't you work a couple of days per week? Why wouldn't you want to do that if it meant giving your hubby a break? Why should you be the one to get the Ideal stay at home life?

    Apologies if there is more to this story I am just going off what's written here.

    Finding a job that has suitable hours would be near impossible. Given her DH is away 5 weeks, she would have to get both kids up and dressed, drop one at school, other at MIL, drive to work, then leave at 2.30 to go pick her older child up from school then drive to MILs and pick up the baby. Maybe after school activities a couple of times a we too. Make dinner (assuming shopping has done itself), bath them and put them into bed.

    And that's on the off chance a job is available with suitable hours and close by?

    I'm a solo mum. It's tough doing it on your own. And the OP is. I sknt know how I will cope with school hours.

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  11. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshorewife View Post
    This was an email i just received from him. I think im going to pack my belongings!!!!

    Look up house wife in the dictionary - if you want to be one and live by the rules the man makes the money fine - I expect a hot cooked meal every night as well as breakfast and lunch, the house to be cleaned daily, my clothes to be washed folded and ironed and put away. you to **** and suck me like a "house wife" should if you can't do that then clearly your not a "house wife" and clearly I shouldn't be the only bread winner.
    That is disgusting. Yep I'd be packing, but not my bags- his. Tell him to f..k off. That email is incredibly insulting and completely disrespectful.
    Yep a real douchebag.

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  13. #39
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    Did you speak about this before having kids? Have things changed or was this always his view?

    I work, it's my choice, my husband doesn't care either way - he is not my 'keeper' and I'm not his 'housewife'. We are a team and family. That's what we agreed before getting married.

    If my husband wrote that email to me, even as a joke, I would be changing the locks.

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  15. #40
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    I can't believe the posters saying she should compromise? No way!!! $20000 income and the ONLY reason he wants her to go back to work is so she can be MORE of a wife??? Get real! That's pathetic. He chose her to be the mother of his children and they obviously don't need the extra income. He's just a control freak. He's away 5 weeks at a time...the op has the kids on her own, that's a full time job itself ontop of all the housework.

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