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  1. #111
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    I think a lot of posters are filling in a lot of blanks. Who knows what has been agreed in the past about the OP going back to work. Maybe they had agreed that she would go back when the baby was 12 months so he could take a lower paying job that didn't require him to work away? Maybe not.

    But I agree with VicPark and RL&P that there's more to this. The email was wrong but I'm reserving my views on everything else.

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  3. #112
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    How are things today OP?

  4. #113
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    OT, but welcome back @Sonja

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  6. #114
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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    I'd much rather my dh be home every day to see our children grow up... but I think family is more important than money.



    He could, but given the circumstances I don't think that's the case. My opinion may change if the OP fills in the blanks (like his reasons for wanting her to return to work) but, until that happens, I'll keep my pitchfork in the shed.
    I wouldn't say I've got my pitchfork out, hackles up... yes, pitchfork... no. I just was reading a number of replies saying things like "I'm.sure he didn't mean it", "I don't think he could be serious" and I wanted to point out that sadly many men do still hold views exactly like those expressed in the email, however hard that might be to fathom.

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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  8. #115
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    Ok so here's the run down.


    I have worked previously, each job I had he had to approve of. I'm not allowed to work in a bar etc.

    I am a qualified meat assessor( basically post mortem on animals)
    Because I am not an Australia citizen I cannot work as this role because it's government sector.

    I would need to get citizenship before I could make a decent income and guess who won't sponsor me for citizenship?

    I have left before, child support was ok but he managed to guilt trip me in to paying less because he couldn't pay the mortgage apparently. And if he missed a payment we would lose the house and I would have nothing in settlement.


    Ive decided to leave again. I have other emails that are worse. Including him telling me it's rude of me to visit my parents whilst he's at sea because we aren't doing it as a couple. He is trying to isolate me.

    He he also takes the car off me when he doesn't get his own way and has it gps tracked.




    im done


    Thing that is going to be hard is that I'm not entitled to parenting payments so I have to find a job anyway with or without him

  9. #116
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    My DP would prefer me at home with our babes until the youngest at least starts pre-kinder I'd love to work but would hate to miss out on our last babies firsts there's plenty more time for me to work later on

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  10. #117
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    And no he has no intentions of changing his hours, he's hoping to do his masters ( company funded) so he can become captain. Which means more money. He is 3rd generation seaman and was a boiler maker welder before going to sea.

    He he only wants me to work because he is simply a controlling manipulative asswipe.

    I sent my girlfriend who isn't in our circle of friends the email that he sent which was worse than the one I posted earlier.


    her reply was it sounds like he has someone else and trying to make me leave so he doesn't look like a coward.

    now I know there's no one else that's just the way he treats women! Chauvinistic pig

  11. #118
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshorewife View Post
    Ok so here's the run down.


    I have worked previously, each job I had he had to approve of. I'm not allowed to work in a bar etc.

    I am a qualified meat assessor( basically post mortem on animals)
    Because I am not an Australia citizen I cannot work as this role because it's government sector.

    I would need to get citizenship before I could make a decent income and guess who won't sponsor me for citizenship?

    I have left before, child support was ok but he managed to guilt trip me in to paying less because he couldn't pay the mortgage apparently. And if he missed a payment we would lose the house and I would have nothing in settlement.


    Ive decided to leave again. I have other emails that are worse. Including him telling me it's rude of me to visit my parents whilst he's at sea because we aren't doing it as a couple. He is trying to isolate me.

    He he also takes the car off me when he doesn't get his own way and has it gps tracked.




    im done


    Thing that is going to be hard is that I'm not entitled to parenting payments so I have to find a job anyway with or without him
    Wow you definitely need to leave my DP is bad but yours tops the cake darl. Good luck! X

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  12. #119
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    Quote Originally Posted by Offshorewife View Post
    And no he has no intentions of changing his hours, he's hoping to do his masters ( company funded) so he can become captain. Which means more money. He is 3rd generation seaman and was a boiler maker welder before going to sea.

    He he only wants me to work because he is simply a controlling manipulative asswipe.

    I sent my girlfriend who isn't in our circle of friends the email that he sent which was worse than the one I posted earlier.


    her reply was it sounds like he has someone else and trying to make me leave so he doesn't look like a coward.

    now I know there's no one else that's just the way he treats women! Chauvinistic pig
    Can I then suggest you get in touch with a woman's domestic violence service because based on this information you do fall into the category of dv. A women's service can help assist you with obtaining some free legal aid and possibly be able to get you a payment under special circumstances. I can not recommend a service in your area but maybe other hubbers can. Please do not think that because of non-citizenship you are definitely not entitled to government assistance- that is untrue. Having worked in dv in the past it has been done before. A women's service can support you and 'go into bat' for you with centrelink.

    *I quoted the wrong post, it was your previous one**

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  14. #120
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    Buttoneska is offline Winner 2010- Most Community Minded Thread Award
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    Can you make a plan to leave.

    Do you have access to money while he is away? Are you able to set a little aside each week so you have a bit of a buffer to get set up with.

    Is there another family member or friend that would sponsor you for citizenship

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