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  1. #101
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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    Although the email is disgusting, I don't think he means that.
    He could very well mean it 100%. I've just moved from country WA and many men there have this exact attitude. One of my friends is about to split from her husband after years of being spoken to like this - because that's what all his mates can apparently expect from their wives.

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  2. #102
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    Quote Originally Posted by XmasDayBub View Post
    Whatever his reason why does he have to be so hateful and rude in a childish email? Why can't he just oh I dunno have a conversation with his wife and just say look I feel this way can we both go to work part time or something.h
    Probably because he has 5 weeks away alone on a ship that is a different "world" to regular life reality. This is a lot of time to stew and think about what he is missing, what other people have and time for resentment to form. I'm also guessing when he talks to colleagues (also on a ship) they have similar views.

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  4. #103
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    Yeh I can see where he would find resentment but he hasn't actually said he hates his job and wants to find a more balanced work life.. He's not explaining himself. He is just lashing out at poor op. He's just winging about the problem and not finding a solution.. How annoying.. He has no problem solving skills.

  5. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by XmasDayBub View Post
    (everyone hates their job mate get over it, if I was earning $200,000 I'd do anything and be god dam thankful I have the opportunity to earn that money) oh and he has a wife who is a great mum and keeps their house immaculate sounds like no matter what this man has it's not good enough
    I'd much rather my dh be home every day to see our children grow up... but I think family is more important than money.

    Quote Originally Posted by Stretched View Post
    He could very well mean it 100%. I've just moved from country WA and many men there have this exact attitude. One of my friends is about to split from her husband after years of being spoken to like this - because that's what all his mates can apparently expect from their wives.

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    He could, but given the circumstances I don't think that's the case. My opinion may change if the OP fills in the blanks (like his reasons for wanting her to return to work) but, until that happens, I'll keep my pitchfork in the shed.

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  7. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by redlipsandpearls View Post
    I'd much rather my dh be home every day to see our children grow up... but I think family is more important than money.
    I have to agree, perhaps the OP's husband does want to work a different job so he can stay home?

    There really is no amount of money that could convince DH and I for him to work away. It just isnt something I want to do.

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  9. #106
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    OP im sure there is way more to this story or at least his side of it....i know my DH has at times been "jealous" when i was SAHM (mind u this was mainly on PPL or BB etc) but still the grass is always greener on the other side ..when im at home i used to envy the "free time" my DH would get at work and when i went to back i remember at times how much i wish i wasnt here but at home with my kids......clearly there is a LOT of resentment between you both...the email was wayyyyy out of line....someone once said to me that you dont really know your partner until youve had kids together and sometimes it brings out ppl's true philosophies on life....i suspect your DH has absolutely NO IDEA what it is like for you 24/7 alone with 2 kids 5 weeks at a time and or he really wants to change his own work situation...i hope thats what it is....if not youve probably got an uphill battle with him cos it could mean he is just a misogynist ahole....i guess the ultimate question is..is this a dealbreaker for you? and him? what would make him "Happy" one day a week, two days now or when your youngest is 2 or 3 or 4 ? clearly you feel like u missed out working when your oldest DD was younger and want to savour the time now...and the logistics of working (ie MIL, hours, no better off financially etc) dont cut it for you....good luck i hope you guys can work it out.

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  11. #107
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    Problem is he's not saying saying that so op can only assume that's the problem.. Until he actually says what his issue is so it can be resolved. There's def something missing.

    And of course money isn't more important than family.. Thank you.

  12. #108
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    Quote Originally Posted by XmasDayBub View Post
    Whatever his reason why does he have to be so hateful and rude in a childish email? Why can't he just oh I dunno have a conversation with his wife and just say look I feel this way can we both go to work part time or something..

    (everyone hates their job mate get over it, if I was earning $200,000 I'd do anything and be god dam thankful I have the opportunity to earn that money) oh and he has a wife who is a great mum and keeps their house immaculate sounds like no matter what this man has it's not good enough
    It sounds like they are in the middle of an ongoing nasty argument. That there's a lot of bad feelings on both sides and we've only heard one side of the issue. Who knows what conversation (from
    Both sides) led up to the email?

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  14. #109
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    Quote Originally Posted by XmasDayBub View Post
    Problem is he's not saying saying that so op can only assume that's the problem.. Until he actually says what his issue is so it can be resolved. There's def something missing.

    And of course money isn't more important than family.. Thank you.
    But you don't know what he's said other than that he wants the OP to go back to work and his email. The OP hasn't even stated why he wants her to work.

    I apologise, I must have misinterpreted this post
    Quote Originally Posted by XmasDayBub View Post
    (everyone hates their job mate get over it, if I was earning $200,000 I'd do anything and be god dam thankful I have the opportunity to earn that money) oh and he has a wife who is a great mum and keeps their house immaculate sounds like no matter what this man has it's not good enough

  15. #110
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    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    It sounds like they are in the middle of an ongoing nasty argument. That there's a lot of bad feelings on both sides and we've only heard one side of the issue. Who knows what conversation (from
    Both sides) led up to the email?
    Yep, agree.. Everyone feels taken advantage of in their life at one point or another, whether you are the sahp or the financial worker. It takes a lot to maintain a marriage when you are always apart (coming from me a sahm whose dh is currently away). It's a huge toll on the parent who is at home maintaining the household but it's just as big a toll on the person who travels away and then comes back and has to slip into a life that hasn't been put on hold.. I can see both sides of the story, the op needs to decide if they can't discuss these issues and reevaluate whether this lifestyle is working for them whether or not she needs to move on from him.

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