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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by ozeymumof5 View Post
    Sorry, I wasn't having a go at you. It just makes me angry when one says yes...the law does listen when really, it doesn't unless something really bad happens first.
    Why does a child need a bad experience for the law to listen? Just like Luke Batty...his mum tried to protect him yet the law didn't listen and now he's dead!
    Oh gosh, I can't express how sad I feel about that little boy's death.

    I was just talking about shared care (custody) arrangements in general. The law (as it reads) takes family violence very seriously and 'shared parental responsibilty' is not implied in claims of family violence.
    Last edited by Ellewood; 02-04-2014 at 19:25. Reason: Spelling

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fleetwood View Post
    Poh gosh, I can't express how sad I feel about that little boy's death.

    I was just talking about shared care (custody) arrangements in general. The law (as it reads) takes family violence very seriously and 'shared parental responsibilty' is not implied in claims of family violence.
    Um....this is how is all starts. Have you actually had experience with this? Or is your info all out of a book? You seem to think it's an easy process...if a child kicks up a stink and does not want to see the other parent....the judge needs to listen rather than 'think' what's best. I was blackmailed/threatened as a child to keep my mouth shut in court... but I did try to tell the lawer. Children aren't listened to and this is wrong.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by ozeymumof5 View Post
    Um....this is how is all starts. Have you actually had experience with this? Or is your info all out of a book? You seem to think it's an easy process...if a child kicks up a stink and does not want to see the other parent....the judge needs to listen rather than 'think' what's best. I was blackmailed/threatened as a child to keep my mouth shut in court... but I did try to tell the lawer. Children aren't listened to and this is wrong.
    earlier in the thread I referred to the family law amendments in 2006. That is why I was pointing out the changes to the law and the new focus on the 'best interests' of children. Sorry you went through that as a child and no my parents did not go to court regarding custody of us kids nor have I been through the system myself as a parent as DS's dad and I have a private agreement.

    I lived with family violence for 14 years too, so I know the pain and long-term damage it does to kids into adulthood and forever. I guess that's why I'm so passionate about studying in this field now, and getting children out of these situations.
    Last edited by Ellewood; 02-04-2014 at 19:24.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fleetwood View Post
    earlier in the thread I referred to the family law amendments in 2006. That is why I was pointing out the changes to the law and the new focus on the 'best interests' of children. Sorry you went through that as a child and no my parents did not go to court regarding custody of us kids nor have I been through the system myself as a parent as DS's dad and I have a private agreement. When was your experience in the courts?
    I'm nearly 40 so my case was obviously a long time ago....but reading what others have posted it seems not much had changed. I personally would never send my kids to anyone they protested to regardless of what the law says...kids have good reason not to want to see particular ppl and their reasons need to be heard and taken seriously. If said child is hostile to reasoning...it's even more alarming. But it's hard for those who come from good families to see the bad things and often believe the lieing parent.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by ozeymumof5 View Post
    I'm nearly 40 so my case was obviously a long time ago....but reading what others have posted it seems not much had changed.
    Munchkin said her child's visitation was subject to the child's wishes.

    As for crankycow's lawyer, I'd be getting a new lawyer if I was her!

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to Ellewood For This Useful Post:

    ozeymumof5  (02-04-2014)

  7. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by crankyoldcow View Post
    Fleetwood, please do not make assumptions and judgements about the legal advice I sought based on snippets in this thread.
    Sorry, I wasn't making assumptions at all apart from what you said in your earlier post that your lawyer said to you.

    Quote Originally Posted by crankyoldcow View Post
    Fleetwoodou mentioned "best interests of the children". Best interests of the children is assumed that the kids will have sufficient contact with both parents to build a relationship with them. It is a start point of negotiations not the end goal ie I would have to prove why it isn't in their best interests not to have contact, he would not need to prove why it is in their best interests to see him. It was difficult enough to get two nights a fortnight with pickups from our homes, instead of the standard 3 nights a fortnight and school pickups and drop offs usually associated with every other weekend.
    Yes, due to the FLA 2006 equal shared parental responsibility is assumed as in the best interests of the child and how much time is spent with each parent depends on a number if primary and secondary considerations. Obviously I don't know anything about your case and never claimed to. Like I said, I was only responding to your statement about what your lawyer said to you which sounded incredulous for a lawyer to say.

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    From what I have seen you post in the past (crankyoldcow).. I really feel for what your kids are going through with their father and his new family. If it was me as a teen I would have run away than be forced to put up with that....as I indeed did.
    Last edited by ozeymumof5; 02-04-2014 at 20:43.

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    Quote Originally Posted by crankyoldcow View Post
    Witness to what? The teacher has only heard DD complaints and has not even met exdh or observed their interactions together.

    Again, I was offering up suggestions, sorry that trying to help makes you so annoyed. I don't know why I wasted my time and won't anymore.

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    Yeah my eldest (almost 10) has been saying she doesn't want to stay at his place. She has been fine until he met a new woman. She is ok if they (her and her dad and her brother and sister) just spend a day together without the new gf and her daughter, but she refuses to stay there now.

  11. #30
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    munchkin05 is offline just me, my boy and my baby bump
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    Quote Originally Posted by ozeymumof5 View Post
    I'm nearly 40 so my case was obviously a long time ago....but reading what others have posted it seems not much had changed. I personally would never send my kids to anyone they protested to regardless of what the law says...kids have good reason not to want to see particular ppl and their reasons need to be heard and taken seriously. If said child is hostile to reasoning...it's even more alarming. But it's hard for those who come from good families to see the bad things and often believe the lieing parent.
    Unfortuntly if you with hold a child you are breaking the court orders and if it continues to happen and the other party breaches then custody could be reversed meaning child would live with the other party and have visitation with the parent they are used to living with

    I spent up to 2 hours at the front of my house trying to encourage DS to go with his dad and I started video taping it because the ex was sayin I wasn't doing anything to help but until the ex had had enough and drove away I couldn't physically say to my child it's ok you don't have to go


 

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