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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by crankyoldcow View Post
    I have been told by my lawyer that he would pretty well have to start bashing them up every weekend for me to have a good enough reason to stop sending them.
    This is so sad.

  2. #12
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    Why don't the 'experts' listen to what the kids want? This makes me so angry These ppl who force kids to see the parent against their will should get down to the library and educate themselves and read all the books written by now adults who where also kids forced to see a parent and the damage it done to them. I thought in this day and age kids refusal to see the other parent would certainly warrant good reason to listen to the child.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by crankyoldcow View Post
    My 11 year old DD has recently told her teacher how much she hates going to see her father and I've had him quizzing me on what is going on as well. That has made me paranoid in a way and wondering if I shouldn't have signed off on our orders and gone to court which is where we were headed.
    Can you appeal the orders, and have the teacher agree to provide a written statement or appear in court as a witness? I've actually been wanting to start a thread regarding the pressure many primary caregivers feel to sign consent orders, due to the misunderstanding of what the legislation actually says - which I found interesting in the FMC judgment2006 document that has been linked in a number of threads lately. Here's a cut and paste of the section I note above:


    14. This misunderstanding in the community about what the legislation really says has also led to some primary care givers entering into agreements, (doing deals), for fear of getting a worse result for their child in a Court, even when that caregiver believes or knows that that child is unlikely to be able to emotionally manage what they‟ve agreed to. On many occasions, when I have had concerns about the appropriateness of consent terms for a child under 4, and have checked the view of the primary carer directly in the Court room, I have been told the party, (usually the mother) doesn‟t think it will work, but has signed the terms, either to relieve pressure from the other side, to get out of the Court system, to avoid any accusation of not being a parent who facilitates time, or to ensure the Court is not given the opportunity to make it even worse for the child, as the party may have been warned.

    link to whole document:
    http://www.legalaid.nsw.gov.au/__dat...ember-2011.pdf it's long-ish but worth the read
    .
    Anyway, I just found it interesting and thought it might interest others concerning custody. You cn tell I'm studying family law at the moment!
    Last edited by Ellewood; 01-04-2014 at 16:43. Reason: Added link

  4. #14
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    I 'thought' once kids turn 12 they have a right to choose if they want to see the other parent? I certainly do think kids need to have their own voice and the authorities need to listen.

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by ozeymumof5 View Post
    I 'thought' once kids turn 12 they have a right to choose if they want to see the other parent? I certainly do think kids need to have their own voice and the authorities need to listen.
    There is no set age, its based on the child's maturity. That said there comes back point where kids can vote with their feet, ever tried to get a teenager to go somewhere kicking and screaming?

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fleetwood View Post
    Can you appeal the orders, and have the teacher agree to provide a written statement or appear in court as a witness? I've actually been wanting to start a thread regarding the pressure many primary caregivers feel to sign consent orders, due to the misunderstanding of what the legislation actually says - which I found interesting in the FMC judgment2006 document that has been linked in a number of threads lately. Here's a cut and paste of the section I note above:


    14. This misunderstanding in the community about what the legislation really says has also led to some primary care givers entering into agreements, (doing deals), for fear of getting a worse result for their child in a Court, even when that caregiver believes or knows that that child is unlikely to be able to emotionally manage what they‟ve agreed to. On many occasions, when I have had concerns about the appropriateness of consent terms for a child under 4, and have checked the view of the primary carer directly in the Court room, I have been told the party, (usually the mother) doesn‟t think it will work, but has signed the terms, either to relieve pressure from the other side, to get out of the Court system, to avoid any accusation of not being a parent who facilitates time, or to ensure the Court is not given the opportunity to make it even worse for the child, as the party may have been warned.

    link to whole document:
    http://www.legalaid.nsw.gov.au/__dat...ember-2011.pdf it's long-ish but worth the read
    .
    Anyway, I just found it interesting and thought it might interest others concerning custody. You cn tell I'm studying family law at the moment!
    Start the thread!

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to BbBbBh For This Useful Post:

    Ellewood  (02-04-2014)

  8. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by ozeymumof5 View Post
    Why don't the 'experts' listen to what the kids want? This makes me so angry These ppl who force kids to see the parent against their will should get down to the library and educate themselves and read all the books written by now adults who where also kids forced to see a parent and the damage it done to them. I thought in this day and age kids refusal to see the other parent would certainly warrant good reason to listen to the child.
    Quote Originally Posted by ozeymumof5 View Post
    I 'thought' once kids turn 12 they have a right to choose if they want to see the other parent? I certainly do think kids need to have their own voice and the authorities need to listen.
    They do have a voice. The courts, under the FLA must consider the opinion of the child(ren), via court appointed consultant/psychologist.... and they do recognise the free will of teenagers.

  9. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fleetwood View Post
    They do have a voice. The courts, under the FLA must consider the opinion of the child(ren), via court appointed consultant/psychologist.... and they do recognise the free will of teenagers.
    If that were true...this thread wouldn't exist. No one listened to me and who's listening to the kids on this thread? It's not as easy as you make it sound and sadly in most cases....bad, very bad things need to happen before anyone (such as judges) do anything about it.

  10. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by ozeymumof5 View Post
    If that were true...this thread wouldn't exist. No one listened to me and who's listening to the kids on this thread? It's not as easy as you make it sound and sadly in most cases....bad, very bad things need to happen before anyone (such as judges) do anything about it.
    I wasn't giving an opinion, just citing the law as it is written. I have no idea, just citing it! I was trying to offer up help and advice, with good intentions.

    I think that the second part of your paragraph can be very arbitrary and that's probably why courts appoint a psychologist or psychiatrist in cases that go to court (as distinguished from parenting orders made during mediation under agreement by parents) to represent children and give their professional opinion as to the weight the court should hold such opinions regarding various factors such as age, maturity, being persuaded or influenced by one parent etc.).

    To anyone else reading this thread, it's simply a discussion and offering up some advice, and in no way trying to imply its easy or simple or that theres a 'one size fits all' solution. I wouldn't wish to be in this situation or wish it on anyone else. But I think there's a lot of presumption out there that I would hate for others to read and believe is out-and-out true.

  11. #20
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    Sorry, I wasn't having a go at you. It just makes me angry when one says yes...the law does listen when really, it doesn't unless something really bad happens first.
    Why does a child need a bad experience for the law to listen? Just like Luke Batty...his mum tried to protect him yet the law didn't listen and now he's dead!


 

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