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  1. #1
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    Default 3 year old friends

    My 3 year old is going through a 'best friend' problem. She had made a friend through my mother's group and was always saying she's my best friend. This friend has started kindy this year but my daughter is still in childcare. She was devastated that her best friend left childcare but we still catch up once a week. The past few weeks this little girl has been saying she has a new best friend at kindy. This hurts my daughters feelings and constantly asks why she's not her best friend any more. We managed to get her a new 'best' friend at childcare but this week that little girl had found a new friend. Once again my dd feels alone. She doesn't seem to understand that you can have more than one friend. She lashes out when she isn't one on one and I really worry about her emotions. She said the other day "no one wants to be my best friend" it breaks my heart. Are there any good books anyone can recommend to explain how to make friends and also feel okay not having a best friend. Hoping this is just a stage but my dd is quite shy so worried this will be a problem in school if I don't build her confidence now. Sorry for the essay but I guess I need tips on how to explain friendships to a 3 year old.

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  2. #2
    SpecialPatrolGroup's Avatar
    SpecialPatrolGroup is offline T-rex is cranky until she gets her coffee.
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    My dd has been a bit fixated on her bestie who doesn't come day care everyday. Fortunately she is getting a bit better at paying with more than one child at a time and is friends with some others too. I have always just said to her that she has to be nice and kind to the other kids and not exclude them from playing so she can have lots of lovely friends.

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    Can you arrange play dates with other friends from day care? I have 4 kids and one thing I never encourage is a best friend. DD2 has very strong separation anxiety and I don't want her fixating on one person or she may suffocate them. DD1 had a "BFF" in prep and it turned pear-shaped when this girl decided she didn't want to be BFFs anymore.

    So now if I notice one of the kids becoming fixated on a particular person I encourage them to spend time with other kids so they don't get so wound up in one person. I remember as a child feeling heart broken when a friend would play with someone else - it's something girls tend to go through (my son hasn't).

    Maybe reach out to other girls in day care and see if you can go from there? Not just one but a few. Good luck - it's awful seeing your LO sad.

  4. #4
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    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    When dd6 was 3 we had a similar issue. At the time Humf was on abc for kids, and there was an episode about this exact problem. I wonder if you could YouTube it, I'm sure if you goggled it you could find an episode list, it's bound to be obvious which one. His best friend made another best friend, and Humf felt left out, until his friend said you can have more than one bf. Lol how tragic is it that I remember that! It was big for dd6 at the time though


 

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