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  1. #11
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    Nephew was struggling to get his poop out (tmi??) and declared, "I need sultanas on my bottom...poo is very heaby (his version of heavy).

    To which I reply (in a public bathroom) "I am not putting sultanas on your bottom buddy!"

  2. #12
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    "No, you cannot wear your high heels to bed"

    "If you close your eyes and listen very carefully, you might hear fairies giggling under your pillow. But mummy has to sneak away now or they'll know you're listening" - that strategy worked for around a fortnight haha

  3. #13
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    *to my dd*

    "No, you need to sit down to do wees. Only boys stand up to use the toilet"

    now, she constantly tells me that boys do their wees standing up - EVERY.FREAKING.TIME she goes to the toilet! haha

  4. #14
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    These are brilliant

  5. #15
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    "mummy, I can drive the car to childcare?" (she's 28 months)

    "No darling, you have to be 17 to drive the car"

    Next day "how old will you be when it's your birthday?" (she usually answers '3')

    "17"

    lol

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Addison View Post
    So many! This morning I had to tell my 3 year old son that no, he could not drive my car to daycare. Cue - tantrum for not letting him....drive!
    haha just saw this! our kids have the same idea lol

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by preggasaurus View Post
    Don't touch your sisters' v@g1 na!!! If you want to touch a v@g1na, touch your own!

    Yes, I actually said those exact words, and yes, she started touching her own...
    HAHA I had this exact conversation with DD1 tonight in the bath

  8. #18
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    speaking of vag1nas, the other week I found myself saying this to my daughter:

    "stop drawing on your vag1na! bath crayons are just for drawing on the bath"

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by crankyoldcow View Post
    Don't lick the cat.
    Don't kiss the cat on the lips.
    Stop eating the cat's food.
    the other day I had to tell my daughter that the food in the can was for dogs and not people, only to have her argue 'yes, mummy, it's for people' haha

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skullduggery View Post
    Me: Eat your dinner!
    3yo, half naked, toilet training DS: But I want to play with my doodle!
    Me: You have two hands - doodle in your left, fork in your right. Now eat!

    Made sense as it came out of my mouth ...
    Funniest thing ever.

    My DS tonight cried when I told him we were having 'pink fish' for dinner. He wanted the boy fish. So when I put his bowl down I told him I picked the boy fish for him.


 

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