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  1. #1
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    Default Twins being separated at dAycare

    Hi there

    i have 3yr old b/g twins who attend daycare 2 days a week. Because my dd is toilet trained, she has been sent to the next room up, while my ds, who is no where near being TT, remains in the younger room. Once he is TT, he can move up to....

    Anyway, so they are separated and I'm not too sure how I feel about this. Dd is enjoying bring in the older room, ds is alittle lost without her. He seems to need her a lot more than the other way. Apparently he gets alittle upset at times but easily calmed down. They can have afternoon tea together. & some outside play together.

    how would you feel about having your twins separated for 2 days??? I don't think it will b long in the bigger scheme of things, but still, I'm not sure. So hard when they are at different stages....
    What are your thoughts? Love to hear .....

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    I would probably speak to someone at the centre and see if there can be a compromise. Studies show that twins find it very difficult to be separated, especially at a young age. Twins kept together do much better psychologically, socially, developmentally and academically if they are able to spend time together. But academic studies aside, if you'd like your twins together for their own comfort and peace of mind, I'd suggest speaking to someone. Surely allowances can be made?

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    Honestly, being a twin myself, I'd leave them separated. My twin sister and I were in the same preschool class and the same class in primary school until year 4. As a consequence we both never learnt to make friends independently and still at 30 have the same group of friends. Just something to think about

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    I think 3 is young to separate, especially if your DS is not doing so well. I also don't think tt is reason enough surely they cater for individual needs etc...

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    I think 3 is too young, and incidentally since it has been raised, I see no issue with having the same group of friends later in life if you are both happy to do so

    My boys have barely spent any time apart. They are in the same prep room this year and haven't indicated at all that they want to be separated, and until they tell me differently I will keep them together.

    My two have only spent a few hours apart, and even then it is rare. Ds2 stayed home with me one day while ds1 and df went to the shops. Not 5 minutes after they left it started: "how long until my brother gets home?" And continued every 10 minutes or so. Lol!

    I would ask the centre if try could either spend kore time together than what they currently do, or see if there were a different alternative.

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    I just mean that because we always had each other we didn't 'need' to make friends. I'm still not great at it.

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    Yep all good I think I'm on board with what you meant. Most of us singletons wish we were born so lucky!
    I'm not great at making friends either and actually I think most people feel this way.

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    Thanks very much for your thoughts.... I feel quite validated in feeling uncomfortable in separating them. 3 is still pretty young & there is plenty of time to individuate. I'll speak with dc.... I think there needs to be a better a reason to separate them other than one being in nappies & the other isn't. I also feel that separating ds would b perceived as a punishment to him for not being TT.

    Maybe he can go up to the same room, & the increased exposute to toilet ing will spur him along. Mayb he can have pull ups, which may make it easier for staff to change???? Don't know what the possibilities are, but at least I'm clear in my mind that I would like them to remain together.

    Thsnks again

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    Toilet training isn't a reason to move children up to the next room at DS's daycare, it's irrelevant. It depends on development. There are alot of toddlers that aren't toilet trained that have moved up into the next room and some that remain where they are because they aren't developmentally ready.

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    hi, I didn't use any daycare , so my twins were not separated until they started school. I think most schools seem to have policy regarding twins, and you might find there is not a choice once they are at school. They were separated every year through primary school. I think three years is a bit young, I would ask if they could spend a bit more time together or something. Marie.

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