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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lili81 View Post
    I say breastfeeding is a cop out cause they are ways around it.

    A mum in my mothers group had the dad bringing bub to her work for the mid day feed.
    I was expressing at work and giving ebm to bub. I could have also chose to use my lactating breaks together with my lunch break and get back to bub for a feed.
    Or a bub who has started solids can go with a morning and night feed and make up for extra feeds at night if needed.

    Babies are resilient.

    If we choose to I believe we can think outside the box and dads could have the chance to experience being at home within the first year of their baby's life while keeping the breastfeeding going
    Sorry but the 'ways around it' aren't workable for everyone.

    Bub may not be able to travel to mums work for a feed (eg the family might only have one car, mum may not know the exact time she is able to break each day, a 1 hour return trip each day ... Really? Having bub stuck in a car for that long is a good idea?).

    Expressing doesn't work for everyone. Some women can't pump
    Much at all. Others (like me) take ages to pump enough for one bottle. It's not time effective.

    Soooo... A 6 month old... 8 month old etc who is on solids can go a whole 8-10 hours without a milk feed? Really?

    I get the point you're making but I think it's a little naive/idealistic to assume just because you *think* you could do it someone else could.

    If the woman wants to stay home for the first year or beyond then good on her. It's not some point scoring match where everything has to be split with the opposite sex 50-50. Sometimes a little inequality is a natural part of life. And something women (and men) want.
    Last edited by VicPark; 21-03-2014 at 20:51.

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  3. #32
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    Of course for some people the solution might be the more traditional stay at home mum model.

    It's not a one size fits all. And at the moment reality in Australia is that it is expected for the mum to stay home for at least 1 year and then get back to work part time if at all.
    Fathers on the other hand stay full time for most of their career.

    I don't think breastfeeding explains it all.

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    Breastfeeding does not explain it since as we know, many people (I don't know stats) are not still feeding at 6/9/12 months.

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    This thread is inspiring me to discuss our options with DH tomorrow. Bub is due in August and he can take 2 months paid parental leave through his work as long as I go back to work. I work from home and it's seasonal so that should work well.

    I asked him if he could spread the parental leave out and take 2 days off per week for longer instead of 5 days for 2 months but unfortunately his work won't allow that. I'd love to see more dads having flexible hours so they could share the child rearing.

    I think by 3-4 months we'll be formula feeding so from my end it's doable.

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    Forgot to say DH can take the paid 2 months leave any time in the first year.

  9. #36
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    @lemonpancakes how lucky to be able to work from home
    sounds like you'll be able to get a really good balance.

    Flexibility is key for a good work/life balance when you are parents.

    In my company I can take my parental leave up to my child's 5th birthday. So DS is just about 1yo now and I have used 6mths already, it means that I can use the other 6 months later down the track.
    They don't really advertise this - maybe your DH's work could do the same?

    The only catch is that parental leave needs to be for 1 month at a time minimum. Can't take 1 week here and 2 week there.

  10. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lili81 View Post
    I say breastfeeding is a cop out cause they are ways around it.

    A mum in my mothers group had the dad bringing bub to her work for the mid day feed.
    I was expressing at work and giving ebm to bub. I could have also chose to use my lactating breaks together with my lunch break and get back to bub for a feed.
    Or a bub who has started solids can go with a morning and night feed and make up for extra feeds at night if needed.

    Babies are resilient.

    If we choose to I believe we can think outside the box and dads could have the chance to experience being at home within the first year of their baby's life while keeping the breastfeeding going

    I went back to work 10wks after dd1 for 2x4hr shifts and slowly built to 3x4hr shifts when she was 12mths old. I didn't leave her for the whole day till she was 16mths old and had dropped her day feeds. She hated milk from anywhere but boob. So I simply couldn't leave her any longer till then. And dad couldn't come to work for a feed as we only had the one car and I used to take it to work.
    And as much as a baby aged 5-12mths might eat solids milk is the main source of nutrition till 1yo.

    With dd2 I went back 2 days a week when she was 7mths old. She needed 4 x 150 bottles each day away. I had to express every day and twice at work to have enough. And Ive always had heaps of milk but expressing never got me much. Formula is not an option for my kids so working any more days or resuming work earlier was not an option.

    I think your blanket statement that mums should be just able to leave their babies is short sighted. Yes babies do catch up on feeds overnight but nobody wants to increase night feeds!!

    Additionally, for many mothers, being with their babies for the initial years is way more important than work.


    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

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  12. #38
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    @Rose&Aurelia Im not saying that mums should be able to leave their babies all day, I'm saying they can if they want to.

    But obviously you are right it comes down to priorities.

  13. #39
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    Yep. Priorities. And everyone is going to be different. I've got a few SAHM friends who have no plans to work till kids in school if ever. They WANT to be the primary caregiver FT. No law changes will ever make them chose to work.

    FWIW- I went back to work cos I had easy kids and was getting a bit bored. But if you have high maintenance kids then you may not have the time or energy.

    Additionally, I find working and juggling the kids really difficult as DH is always away. I don't see me continuing to work for much longer. It's exhausting. Plus my kids aren't coping well with the 10-11hr days at daycare 3 days a week.





    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

  14. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lili81 View Post
    Of course for some people the solution might be the more traditional stay at home mum model.

    It's not a one size fits all. And at the moment reality in Australia is that it is expected for the mum to stay home for at least 1 year and then get back to work part time if at all.
    Fathers on the other hand stay full time for most of their career.

    I don't think breastfeeding explains it all.
    I haven't faced any expectations or pressures from anyone in regards to how long I stay home for. This is a free country and men can stay home to look after bub if that's what the family want ...but a lot of the time it isn't. It's not because discrimination or lack of options or pressure. It's because it's what families want. Many women want to look after the babies themselves either due to breastfeeding or because that's nature: they carried the bub for 9 months and don't want to be separated.

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