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  1. #1
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    Default Family hates my husband apparently! What do I do??

    Well last night my mother told me that no one in my family likes my husband. She said that all of them have been talking and have decided that they love our daughter and want desperately to have a relationship with her, but they can't stand to be in the same room as my dh.

    I am absolutely crushed! To think that not only they would be talking behind our backs about it, but that they would say it to my face is another thing entirely!

    I don't know what to do! I told my mother I needed some space to process the news but this morning she rang and has rung 3 other times today and is kissing my backside more than ever before. She has offered to come over several times today and do housework or cooking or washing and is pretending like nothing is wrong!

    How dare she! What gives anyone the right to say something like that about my family!

    Am I over reacting?? How should I deal with it?

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    Wow my god, what a heartless thing to say to your own daughter

    I can't comprehend what good your mother thought she would assume by telling you this... Your DH is your family and you chose him.

    Did you spoke to your DH about it? (I probably wouldn't at this stage if you can help it).

    Is there a way to try and patch things up between your family and your DH?

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    Wow!
    What are their reasons? They must have something pretty solid to actually tell you, sounds like more than a personality clash?
    I think they have to accept him. HE is your husband, father of your DD and therefore he is YOUR family. They don't have to be besties but they should be respectful of him and of you (assuming your DH a has done nothing wrong and this is out of the blue?)

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    Why don't they like him?

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    As far as I know it's totally out of the blue. He has always (I thought) gotten along so well with my family. My mother even said last night he is a wonderful father and a great provider for our family, but they just don't enjoy spending time with him because "he isn't as fun as my sisters husband" (her exact words.

    We have offered to take them out to dinner tomorrow night (dh's idea because he does spend as much time with them as I do).

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    Did you ask her opinion? If not, I vote for wildly inappropriate.

    Sometimes, and I've fallen into this trap myself, if we use our family/close friends as people to vent to, then they only see one side of your relationship. Is it possible that this is the case, and your family is feeling protective of you?

    In any case, what does she expect you to do with the information? What an awkward situation to put you in. No, I don't think you're overreacting and I'd be very upset.

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    I haven't yet told him. He will be crushed I'm guessing.

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    Was she drunk when she said it ?? On drugs maybe ??

    I only ask as my mother has said similar things about my husband to my sister when she's been drinking.

    I honestly couldn't care less what she thinks. She doesn't know my husband. I love him, my kids love him and that's all that matters. If it came down to it I'd choose him every day of the week.

    My mother is a very negative person and never has anything positive to say about anyone. Maybe your mum is similar ?

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wally90 View Post
    I haven't yet told him. He will be crushed I'm guessing.
    I wouldn't tell him if you can avoid it. I can see it blowing up and causing a major rift.

    If it were me, I'd be telling my mother very strongly: 'this is the man who I've chosen to spend my life with, and who is the father of my child. I love him very much and he makes me happy. You are the one with the issue, and I expect you to get over it, treat him with respect and never mention it again.'

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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsharvey View Post
    Did you ask her opinion? If not, I vote for wildly inappropriate.

    Sometimes, and I've fallen into this trap myself, if we use our family/close friends as people to vent to, then they only see one side of your relationship. Is it possible that this is the case, and your family is feeling protective of you?

    In any case, what does she expect you to do with the information? What an awkward situation to put you in. No, I don't think you're overreacting and I'd be very upset.
    No I didn't ask her opinion. I can't even remember how it came up! She over reacts to most of life's situations so I have learned not to tell her anything about my family or if I do down play everything.

    I have no idea what she expects me to do with it. Did she want me to leave him?? She has always been really jealous of my relationship with almost any other human being. Even my best friends through school she would try ad turn me against or them against me so I'm wondering if maybe that's what she is trying to do again? I have no idea, but either way im so upset that even if it is what they (my mother, father, siblings grandmother) really feel why would she share it with me?!?


 

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