+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 14
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    4,094
    Thanks
    1,386
    Thanked
    1,357
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts

    Default Another toddler behavior question

    So a few of you may have read my other thread a few days ago about how my toddlers behaviour has been SHOCKINGLY bad.

    I want to know some effective methods of discipline.

    I've heard 1-2-3 magic mentioned a few times an wondering if anyone has experience with this? I have no idea what it's about.

    Or if anyone has any other suggestions?

    Basically DS1 is almost 3 and over the past few months has gone from an angel child to ... I don't even know how to put it... Just bratty, naughty, massive tantrums etc. He is THAT kid!

    He used to be so calm and well behaved and I can honestly say I NEVER had any major behaviour issues with him at all, up until about January this year.

    Yes he has a new little brother who is 6 weeks old but the behaviour started before he arrived.

    He hits us, kicks us, screams extremely loudly, tells us to 'go away', throws himself to the ground, won't let us near him for comfort / cuddles etc. It's seriously concerning me how his behaviour has done a complete turn around. He is a different child.

    He would NEVER push or hit another child, but I've caught him gently pushing a kid and gently hitting them. I say gently because it is. It's not a hard hit or push, it's like he's 'testing the waters' so to speak. I've pulled him up on it when I've seen it.

    Recently 2 boys from daycare left, he is in family daycare so the ratio went from 5 to 1 down to 4 to 1, so 2 boys left and 1 new girl came.

    So at the moment there are 2 other boys, DS and a girl, all the kids r younger than DS. DS almost 3, the other 2 boys just turned 2. The 2 boys were there with him last year so he knows them but they are very rough boisterous kids and they used to pick on DS, snatch toys, hit, push etc. The 2 who left were much softer and quieter like DS. I don't know if he's picking up this bad behaviour from these 2 boys or what, but it seems to have coincided to when he went back to daycare at the start of the year...

    I am seriously considering moving him to a different daycare... Do U think that would help?

    At home he can throw at least 2 massive tantrums a day. He is also having massive night terrors.

    I got a referral today for a pediatrician as I am worried about the night terrors. Last night he had two...

    Any advice / suggestion? I'm totally lost and it's seriously affected mental health
    And I'm seeing a psychologist for depression. It's also affected the strong bond I used to have with DS and also DHs bond with him and I don't want this to make him feel isolated from us

    Please if anyone has any advice is really appreciate it, I'm desperate



    Sent from my iPhone using The Bub Hub mobile app

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    4,094
    Thanks
    1,386
    Thanked
    1,357
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Ps, he also has multiple smaller meltdowns per day... Lots of screaming and shouting 'go away' etc. He's doing it right now actually...


    Sent from my iPhone using The Bub Hub mobile app

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    Newcastle
    Posts
    653
    Thanks
    817
    Thanked
    217
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Hugs it's hard to say. My DD was a brat at that age, she's almost 4 now & improving.

    We use time out & it worked well. To start with we used to count at her '3,2,1' if we got to 1 and she was still behaving terribly she went in time out (no, they don't stay, they RUN lol you just have to keep putting them back until they stay)

    No she's older she gets 2 warnings a day (they accumulate 'first warning, 2nd warning then time out'

    one thing I want to mention is a trip to a child psychologist (paed will refer you if they think it's nessessery) I used to look at DD and think 'how horrible for YOU! Your 3 years old, life shouldn't be this HARD or emotionally disturbing'

    If he needs help regulating his emotions and behaviour you want that help sooner rather then later.

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to Mummy Potato For This Useful Post:

    SAgirl  (17-03-2014)

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Posts
    9,868
    Thanks
    3,034
    Thanked
    5,843
    Reviews
    2
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    My DS (turned 3 last month) has been awfully behaved on public outings lately.

    He's pretty good at home, but a nightmare at the shops, parks etc. The moment he doesn't get his way he has an enormous meltdown and it's a struggle to get him back into the car and home. My poor DH is struggling with it all, as he looks after DS 5 days a week while I'm at work.

    I got the 1-2-3 Magic book on Friday and we're both going to read it and implement the program ASAP.

    I have no idea what has gotten into him and I really hope we can turn it around. It's affecting our lives because we dread taking him out

    Sorry to hijack your thread with my own issues, I just wanted to let you know you aren't alone. Toddlers can be such hard work

  6. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Location
    Mildura
    Posts
    1,565
    Thanks
    486
    Thanked
    395
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Having the same problem here good at home a nightmare out.


    Love DD and DS with all my heart and more x

  7. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Posts
    1,186
    Thanks
    330
    Thanked
    223
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    We are trying "few words, little emotions". Which means get to the point and don't get your own emotions involved.
    We have been through it all. Dd is 3. Very smart, stubborn, a short temper, massive tantrums.
    When a melt down happens or when she pushes over her little brother, I simply say "dd, stop, time out". I physically remove her from the room, into another quiet space. (She won't go on her own). And leave her for 2-3mins max. Then tell her (in a normal tone voice, sometimes quieter) "no pushing....say sorry...OR are you ok now?...let's go..."....get on with the day.

    i have tried talking it out. I have tried reasoning. I have tried warnings. 123 magic did not work for the long run. I have yelled. I have used reward charts. I was exhausted!
    Now im basically ignoring silly tantrums and getting on with my day. If we are out we leave ASAP.

    When it comes to behavior, I focus on the good things she does like, behaving while out - telling her exactly what it means to be "good while we are at the shops" - walking next to me, talking quietly, holding my hand at the crossings. playing nicely together with others, sharing, using manners, taking turns, patience, any self help she attempts - takes dishes to sink, gets dressed ect.
    Taking notice of new skills and making a big deal. For example dd has started writing her name. We went out and bought a special pen and writing pad.

    bad behavior, is "stop and time out". Few words, little emotions". It's working so far. Dd is clever, understand her "unwanted behaviour". If I become emotional with her, it escalates and she becomes out of control. A deep breath and taking 10secs to think before you decide how to act with the behaviour/tantrum really helps me.
    Last edited by Little Miss Muffet; 17-03-2014 at 13:23.

  8. The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to Little Miss Muffet For This Useful Post:

    Mummy Potato  (17-03-2014),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (20-03-2014),SAgirl  (19-03-2014)

  9. #7
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    311
    Thanks
    151
    Thanked
    19
    Reviews
    0
    SAgirl, this might all be fairly age appropriate behaviour but I just wanted to throw in another option, so you can think about it.

    My son has coeliac disease - diagnosed one year ago - and if he has gluten his behaviour goes bananas. He had a bloated belly but that was about the only symptom apart from behavioural stuff. Coeliac can be symptomless but still cause internal damage. By the time my son was diagnosed (it's a long process), he was a real mess. He was angry, moody, violent, lethargic and wild. If I didn't know why he was that way I would have been very distressed.

    Your son son might just be a 2 year old going through hard times but he could also be reacting to something in his diet, or environment, or maybe just sick.

    Are there any other things about him, physically or behaviourally, that don't seem normal?

  10. #8
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    4,094
    Thanks
    1,386
    Thanked
    1,357
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Thanks everyone, we have had a few good days from DS but who knows what tomorrow will bring... Haha

    I try to keep his diet very healthy, mainly fresh food and no processed things or sweets etc, but I don't know much about gluten and those types of things.

    Besides the odd tantrums and night terrors, he is happy and healthy. I have an appointment booked with a paed at end of April though to be sure nothing else is going on.




    Sent from my iPhone using The Bub Hub mobile app

  11. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Posts
    311
    Thanks
    151
    Thanked
    19
    Reviews
    0
    I saw you mention somewhere else (I think) that he complained of belly aches. Is that still ongoing?
    It took me several doctor visits to get one to take my concerns seriously. So I think us mums need to be very persistent.

  12. #10
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    Posts
    4,094
    Thanks
    1,386
    Thanked
    1,357
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Yeah when he's having a night terror he says his 'tummy is stuck' and sometimes during the day he says 'tummy sore'... He's also complained of an itchy bottom. I've dewormed him and the doc took a swab and also poo samples but all clear. He hasn't complained of his tummy being sore since the last time I posted about it though, sometimes I wonder if it's attention seeking?


    Sent from my iPhone using The Bub Hub mobile app


 

Similar Threads

  1. 4yo behavior
    By misho in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 16-01-2014, 19:08
  2. Not Coping with the behavior!
    By TheUndomesticGoddess in forum Discipline & behaviour
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 18-08-2013, 16:20
  3. Toddler behavior. I'm feeling helpless :(
    By 2BlueBirds in forum Discipline & behaviour
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 12-06-2013, 11:16

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Softmats
With so many amazing reversible designs, the soft and cushioned Premium Bubba Mats are the perfect space for all the family. Not only do they look fantastic; you can also enjoy the quality and comfort for years to come.
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Transition into Parenthood / Calmbirth Sydney
Julie's Transition into Parenthood and Calmbirth courses for pregnant couples will get you ready, prepared and organised for the wonderful birth of your beautiful new baby. Birth Support Doula training provided in 2017 open to all. Call 0401 265 530
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!