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  1. #11
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    OP I have cared for women in your situation before and I've only ever seen them deliver naturally. Usually you will be given some medication into your vagina to help you dilate. As PP mentioned you don't need to dilate completely as an 18wk baby is tiny. If you choose not to see baby that is fine, the staff can wrap baby up and take baby away quickly. Also as another PP mentioned get ask for heartfelt to come in and take some photos. Even if you don't want to see them now, at some point you may want to see bub. If we have women in that situation we take the photos and put them in her medical chart so it's filed and that way if down the track the woman wants to see the photos we have them.

    I can empathize with you not wanting to deliver baby vaginally as I can imagine it's quite an emotional time, but please think about the risks of having an operation. I am yet to meet a doctor who will do a caesarean type op in this situation as it is a major op and you'll be even more sore for days after. Maybe they would do a D&C, but to be honest I have only ever seen it done after a baby has delivered vaginally and the placenta hasn't come away.

    I hope whatever happens happens quickly and you have good support from bereavement counsellors and midwives when you deliver your baby. This baby may not be meant for this world, but it doesn't mean that baby should be loved any less. It is your baby and you will remember him/her for the rest of your life. Words are never easy in times like this. Take care and please ask for help/support from your midwives if you need it. X

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to M'LadyEm For This Useful Post:

    KaraB  (16-03-2014)

  3. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by partyof4 View Post
    Last night our worst nightmare was realized. At 18wks We presented at ed with cramps and bleeding and an ultrasound revealed no fetal movement or hb. I habe been told to go to the women's hospital today for treatment. My question is will they make me go through a normal Labour and delivery or can insist on being put to sleep and having whatever needs to be done in theatre? We have suffered enough without going through more trauma

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    I'm so sorry your precious baby couldn't stay . I can not imagine the overwhelming grief you are feeling now but I do know that no parent should ever ever have to feel this way, it's a parents worst nightmare. It is just not fair when our babies are taken from us, no matter their age.

    Please take some time to come to your decision. I have read a heartfelt journey of a mother who gives birth to her son who is stillborn. His name was Harry and I'll never forget his story. I will try and find it for you and link it, ready for you to read (only if you want to and when you are ready).

    Sending you much love and peace to you.

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    KaraB  (16-03-2014)

  5. #13
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    http://www.**********.com.au/birth/b...ter-stillbirth

    Here it is. In this story this brave mumma writes about her labour and birth decision. I thought some of her words might express how you might be feeling at the moment. She was given some very wise words by a beautiful midwife. Xxx

    Oh no, I'm not allowed to post the link. Can I write the starred out part? I'm sorry mods but it's belly belly (without the space in the middle of the words).
    Last edited by My Beloved Ones; 16-03-2014 at 11:24.

  6. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by My Beloved Ones View Post
    http://www.**********.com.au/birth/b...ter-stillbirth

    Here it is. In this story this brave mumma writes about her labour and birth decision. I thought some of her words might express how you might be feeling at the moment. She was given some very wise words by a beautiful midwife. Xxx

    Oh no, I'm not allowed to post the link. Can I write the starred out part? I'm sorry mods but it's belly belly (without the space in the middle of the words).
    Could you pm the link to the OP? Would that work? I'm interested in reading it too..

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    My Beloved Ones  (16-03-2014)

  8. #15
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    Oh I am so sory hun. I was induced at 21 weeks and gave birth to my beautiful sleeping angel. It was under different circumstsnces but if you have any questions at all about the process feel free to pm me.

    At first I was horrified that I'd have to give birth to her but now I'm glad with the way it went. We got to hold her and say goodbye and the staff were so loving and caring.

    Big hugs xx

    Eta- just wanted to add what pp have said to think about it and take time to make the right decision. I had 2 weeks to come to terms with our situation a make a decision. In hindsight I'm glad I didnt rush into anything x

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    Last edited by melimum; 16-03-2014 at 11:47.

  9. #16
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    Kara I've pm'ed you the link.

    Partyof4 I'm happy to pm you the link too if you're interested in reading it. I just don't want to push it on you and send it to you if you don't want it. Take care of yourself xxx

  10. #17
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    Partyof4, just wanted to check in and see how you were? Obviously not good, but I've been thinking of you.


    ~Skye~ 21/11/2012
    Skittle due 07/04/2014


 

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