+ Reply to Thread
Page 7 of 7 FirstFirst ... 567
Results 61 to 68 of 68
  1. #61
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    on the couch ;)
    Posts
    1,618
    Thanks
    2,240
    Thanked
    460
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by mrsharvey View Post



    So does that mean you think it's ok to defend your child publicly and aggressively when they are breaking school rules? Because I would argue that that leads to behaviour issues as much as teachers who are 'unable to empathise and display emotional sensitivity'.

    I totally agree with you that parents need to advocate for their child, and their child needs to be able to trust that their parents will defend them. But I think defending your child when they have clearly done the wrong thing is not helping them at all. (I realise that in OP case it wasn't so black and white, btw.)
    I didn't get the impression that the OP realised that hugging was against the rules, it sound a like it's allowed by many of the teachers, at least when girls do it, and that the focus previously had been on fighting. I rarely question rules in front of kids, although some ridiculously pedantic ones we have discussed and home and explained why we don't agree with them, but why they must follow them anyway. However I have also at times "broken the rules" with my kids when the rule was made without consultation and was insanely unfair - and I was happy to defend that, although never aggressively.

  2. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to twotrunks For This Useful Post:

    AngelicHobgoblin  (16-03-2014),harvs  (16-03-2014)

  3. #62
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    5,864
    Thanks
    986
    Thanked
    3,330
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by twotrunks View Post
    I didn't get the impression that the OP realised that hugging was against the rules, it sound a like it's allowed by many of the teachers, at least when girls do it, and that the focus previously had been on fighting. I rarely question rules in front of kids, although some ridiculously pedantic ones we have discussed and home and explained why we don't agree with them, but why they must follow them anyway. However I have also at times "broken the rules" with my kids when the rule was made without consultation and was insanely unfair - and I was happy to defend that, although never aggressively.
    I can guarantee you as a teacher I don't personally consult with every parent about rules in my classroom let alone school rules and even if a parent decided to challenge me I still wouldn't change them. I don't go into other people's work places and dictate how they operate. If something is 'insanely unfair' I'd most definitely be approaching a teacher about it - but as a parent of a child who doesn't follow class procedures well myself, I don't feel the need to defend every action or try to challenge the consequence.

    He needs to learn (like some people in society have failed to do) that rules are in place for a reason and should be followed. I can at times understand the reasoning behind his poor decision making and understand he can be misunderstood but at the end of the day I'm not going to be the type of parent to bail him out based on a technicality of difference of opinion or because others get away with it. What kind lesson would that teach him? That if he sees others doing the wrong thing then he should too just so it's fair??

    I've witnessed way too many children grow into criminals who had parents that felt the need to challenge every consequence rather than follow through and help teach their child a life lesson (real life case again people not a suggestion that BH members are doing that). I know I'm probably going on a tangent but surely we don't all think our children are completely innocent angels who can't be reprimanded?? Am I the only one who has a kid who I have to speak sternly with and give consequences to or encourage them to alter their actions for safety reasons?? I'm more than happy for him teacher to direct him and like it or not I can guarantee much more of my time is spent on behaviour management as a teacher than educating. I'd LOVE to just be an educator. I wish I didn't have to feel like a police officer during the day.

    If my child broke a rule ANYWHERE I'd be talking them about it ... Even the 'no bringing your own food' into the cinema rule (which I hate) I still enforce it with him. The no diving in the pool rule in out complex pool (drives me bonkers upholding it cos it's all he wants to do and there's no one else in there but us but there is a sign which I point out to him), there's no harm in him doing it but I'd rather him be someone who follows rules and guidelines now as a youngster with the hope that he'll follow the law as an adult.

  4. #63
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,838
    Thanks
    6,199
    Thanked
    16,883
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by AngelicHobgoblin View Post
    Its funny because these teachers (unless really serious) have no problem talking about the childrens behavior infront of everyone. I have now had three different parents come up to me and say she (whichever teacher it is at the time) really shouldn't have said that for everyone to hear. Just little things like they have had a talk to my ds about his behavior but because its said so loud all the other parents can hear it.
    If that is the case then that's something you need to address with the teacher, or possibly the Principal is you don't get a satisfactory response. She behaved badly but I think you did as well.

    Quote Originally Posted by twotrunks View Post
    I think people need to re read the OP, the teacher behaved terribly really, and had no business publicly discussing the child's previous misdemeanours. It amazes me that some people think teachers can behave however they like and parents should not dare to question them in public.
    I think pretty much everyone has agreed she was very unprofessional, but the OP handled it badly as well. IMO they were both at fault. I don't think teachers should be seen as untouchable or beyond reproach, quite the opposite. But I think having an aggressive conversation with the teacher in front of her child was just as bad as the teacher speaking about his behaviour in front of the child and others.

    The bottom line is that the teacher doesn't set the rules. Yes she handled it badly. But so did the OP.

  5. The Following User Says Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    harvs  (17-03-2014)

  6. #64
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Posts
    3,525
    Thanks
    1,890
    Thanked
    2,539
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by Theboys&me View Post
    I can guarantee you as a teacher I don't personally consult with every parent about rules in my classroom let alone school rules and even if a parent decided to challenge me I still wouldn't change them. I don't go into other people's work places and dictate how they operate. If something is 'insanely unfair' I'd most definitely be approaching a teacher about it - but as a parent of a child who doesn't follow class procedures well myself, I don't feel the need to defend every action or try to challenge the consequence.
    I think a rule like a 'no touching' rule should be made very clear to parents, and that the school should make sure all parents know exactly why it exists and what is meant by it.

    If I wanted to challenge a rule and the teacher didn't want to discuss it/hear it, then I'd see the head/principal or bring it up at a p&c c meeting. If the school/other parents disagree I'd accept that but at least I would have a voice. As a parent, like I said earlier, I feel I have a right to be involved in my child's school experience and decision-making.

    Did the OP suggest she defends every wrong action her child makes? I didn't read that anywhere.... I think it's pretty presumptuous to suggest that!

    Quote Originally Posted by Theboys&me View Post
    IIf my child broke a rule ANYWHERE I'd be talking them about it ... Even the 'no bringing your own food' into the cinema rule (which I hate) I still enforce it with him. The no diving in the pool rule in out complex pool (drives me bonkers upholding it cos it's all he wants to do and there's no one else in there but us but there is a sign which I point out to him), there's no harm in him doing it but I'd rather him be someone who follows rules and guidelines now as a youngster with the hope that he'll follow the law as an adult.
    If my child breaks a rule or is rude to others I sure as heck would call him out on it. Rules are there for a reason, BUT they also need to be explained and made clear to parents, especially when it's a rule like the one in the OP which on its own and with no explanation sounds odd. Bad behaviour is obvious, but excessive touching or hugging needs explaining so parents understand.

    I don't know the OP but I'm sure she would agree her son should not be exempt from rules as he grows... Again, I didn't see any suggestion she thought otherwise.

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Ellewood For This Useful Post:

    AngelicHobgoblin  (20-03-2014),smeekyone  (17-03-2014)

  8. #65
    MilkingMaid's Avatar
    MilkingMaid is offline Winner 2009 - Mod Award - most supportive member
    Question those who don't question authority
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Home
    Posts
    9,661
    Thanks
    3,787
    Thanked
    2,144
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    If my child broke a rule ANYWHERE I'd be talking them about it ... Even the 'no bringing your own food' into the cinema rule (which I hate) I still enforce it with him. The no diving in the pool rule in out complex pool (drives me bonkers upholding it cos it's all he wants to do and there's no one else in there but us but there is a sign which I point out to him), there's no harm in him doing it but I'd rather him be someone who follows rules and guidelines now as a youngster with the hope that he'll follow the law as an adult.


    Wow really?

    I absolutely do not teach my children blind adherence to rules, I teach them critical thinking instead.

    I get them to think about why a certain rule is in place (eg no diving in the pool) and then they can decide to dive if there is no-one else around to be annoyed by it.

    I believe blind adherence to rules is not a great thing at all.

    My Mum raised us kids to be critical thinkers, and that the rules are there for a reason, but if the circumstances do not warrant it, then there is no point for the rule.

    She raised us to have good strong morals and ethics, to genuinely care about others, but not to have blind faith in authority.

    Thus my little motto 'Question those who do not question authority'

    Think for yourself, see if something stands up against the test of logical thinking.

  9. The Following User Says Thank You to MilkingMaid For This Useful Post:

    AngelicHobgoblin  (20-03-2014)

  10. #66
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    5,864
    Thanks
    986
    Thanked
    3,330
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    ....

    Sorry ladies - it's not worth me replying ... My responses were coming from a different place than I am sure the OP was after.
    Last edited by Theboys&me; 20-03-2014 at 22:31.

  11. #67
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    5,864
    Thanks
    986
    Thanked
    3,330
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    .......
    Last edited by Theboys&me; 20-03-2014 at 22:30.

  12. #68
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    5,864
    Thanks
    986
    Thanked
    3,330
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I'll back out of here ladies so you can vent away without being challenged yourself

    Note to self: don't respond to a thread about teachers on a parenting forum - it's akin to a vegetarian responding on a carnivore forum.

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to Theboys&me For This Useful Post:

    Lauzy  (20-03-2014)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 69
    Last Post: 20-12-2013, 15:14
  2. The same bl**dy argument every weekend
    By loislane2010 in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: 05-11-2013, 12:27
  3. Please help settle an argument...
    By CanadianKangaroo in forum General Chat
    Replies: 20
    Last Post: 20-07-2013, 13:03

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Shapland Swim Schools
Shapland's at participating schools offer free baby orientation classes once a month - no cost no catches. Your baby will be introduced to our "natural effects" orientation program develop by Shapland's over 3 generations, its gentle and enjoyable.
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
The Fix Program Sydney CBD and Broadway
Pregnancy and women's health physio, pregnancy and new mum Pilates classes taught by our physios for you and bub. Pregnancy back and pelvic pain. Also, we treat postnatal and women of all ages. Incontinence, prolapse, sexual and pelvic pain.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!