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  1. #41
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    Thanks all. Amazing replies with interesting point of views. I can understand it from all points mind you.
    About doing this infront of the kids and not going about it well I agree. I by no means ment to do that, I was purely pointing out at the start that they were hugging. trying to let the teacher know I was supervising and aware. Then she pulled the aditude on my so I got nasty back. I had a horrible morning with the boys so I was keeping them on a short 'lease' to make sure to be on top of any fighting and not listening. And afterwards I even said to my friend she must of had a bad morning and was happy to leave it.

    I certainly don't expect my rules at school. I was only aware of ds fighting so I kept up on that and was enforcing the no fighting or rough play. So thata why when she said he got detention for *that* I was taken back because I was told it was for fighting not hugging so was standing up to my son when he got told off for hugging because as far as I know hugging was allowed.

    God I hope that makes sence. really weird writing big post on phone..

  2. #42
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    I can see why they may have this rule in place. We homeschool, so this is much less of an issue for us but I have an almost six year old DS. He has sensory issues and aspergers. He's an awesome kid, but because he likes hugs he finds it really hard to grasp that other people might not, and because his social skills/ability to read emotions go out the window when he's distracted/over excited that can cause an issue, especially if he's been playing physical games as he'll start hugging people randomly and have no idea if they don't want him to or if hes being rough. In turn the hugging in that environment totally over stimulates him and he finds focusing/calming down really difficult.

    It helps him a great deal to have a 'no touching rule' with friends. They still get the stray hug when he forgets but for him having a solid rule helps him remember. He also chooses calmer activities with friends when he feels himself getting too touchy. I started the no touching rule. Harsh? Well no. Because my son can function with his friends heaps better that way. He's welcome to hug us or his friends if he asks first if they would like a hug. We make sure he gets and gives heaps of affection but not in that setting.

    There are LOTS of kids with sensory issues or ASD at school. And having a blanket rule for all kids would make it heaps easier for them. Unfortunately it limits positive reciprocal affection for kids, which sucks, but I can see how if my son was in your kids class you'd want that rule in place, because he's a smart boy and wants to be gentle as anything but he'd sqoosh your protesting child into a hug without having any idea he was doing something unwelcome.

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  4. #43
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    I love when people who don't work in schools weigh in on what is the best policy for students ... These rules aren't made as a punishment - school employees don't wake up one day and say 'hang on here's a great idea ... Let's ban touching just for sh!ts and giggles' there's obviously a reason for it in that particular school.

    I might go challenge hospital policies soon ... You know - since I've been in hospital myself before - I'm obviously qualified to do so.

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  6. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theboys&me View Post
    I love when people who don't work in schools weigh in on what is the best policy for students ... These rules aren't made as a punishment - school employees don't wake up one day and say 'hang on here's a great idea ... Let's ban touching just for sh!ts and giggles' there's obviously a reason for it in that particular school.

    I might go challenge hospital policies soon ... You know - since I've been in hospital myself before - I'm obviously qualified to do so.
    Reow. Calm down. I don't think im qualified at all. I never said I know better. I know why they have the rule, because they don't seem to think children know the difference be good touching and bad. Instead of trying to enforce good behavior instead of bad they simply made it a blanket rule of course you have the special cases which dont need to follow the rules....

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  8. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theboys&me View Post
    I love when people who don't work in schools weigh in on what is the best policy for students ... These rules aren't made as a punishment - school employees don't wake up one day and say 'hang on here's a great idea ... Let's ban touching just for sh!ts and giggles' there's obviously a reason for it in that particular school.

    I might go challenge hospital policies soon ... You know - since I've been in hospital myself before - I'm obviously qualified to do so.
    I think it's fair to question this particular rule given that every school is different?some schools are fine with touching, others have a blanket ban, others only ban hugging.

    Also, I've questioned doctors and hospitals before.... As someone receiving a service it's only fair? :/
    Hospital policy was to send me home with my last pregnancy when they didn't find any fluid... I demanded further action and my baby was then born within an hour by emergency csection and was days away from dying. I'm glad I questioned their policy.

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  10. #46
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    Quote Originally Posted by AngelicHobgoblin View Post
    Reow. Calm down. I don't think im qualified at all. I never said I know better. I know why they have the rule, because they don't seem to think children know the difference be good touching and bad. Instead of trying to enforce good behavior instead of bad they simply made it a blanket rule of course you have the special cases which dont need to follow the rules....
    I'm not worked up love. I'd give you the same advice and suggest you calm down on school grounds.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anjalee View Post
    I think it's fair to question this particular rule given that every school is different?some schools are fine with touching, others have a blanket ban, others only ban hugging.

    Also, I've questioned doctors and hospitals before.... As someone receiving a service it's only fair? :/
    Hospital policy was to send me home with my last pregnancy when they didn't find any fluid... I demanded further action and my baby was then born within an hour by emergency csection and was days away from dying. I'm glad I questioned their policy.
    Fair call - but obviously if the rule was already enforced there was a reason behind it. I'm just constantly surprised by how many see the school as an enemy to be challenged (not just talking BH here). If only I had the power to challenge some parents about what their children tell me occurs at home (again real life not BH).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Theboys&me View Post
    Fair call - but obviously if the rule was already enforced there was a reason behind it. I'm just constantly surprised by how many see the school as an enemy to be challenged (not just talking BH here). If only I had the power to challenge some parents about what their children tell me occurs at home (again real life not BH).
    Yeah I get that sorry I was thinking you were talking about all the people in this thread who were questioning the rule.

    If I thought someone was really strange at school, I'd question it (mainly for clarification) but I would do it in private, one on one.

  13. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by Theboys&me View Post
    I'm just constantly surprised by how many see the school as an enemy to be challenged (not just talking BH here).
    I totally get where you're coming from! I just wish our parents would support us at home instead of barreling to school if little Johnny gets in trouble for something. You know, maybe giving us the benefit of the doubt, or thinking it's possible their child is lying or exaggerating or has misunderstood the situation? Or saying to their kid 'well you did the wrong thing/broke the rules, and there are consequences for that, and that's life' or something...I'll take anything!

    Anyway, that's my little rant. Sorry for the OT post, it definitely wasn't directed at anyone in this thread.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsharvey View Post
    I totally get where you're coming from! I just wish our parents would support us at home instead of barreling to school if little Johnny gets in trouble for something. You know, maybe giving us the benefit of the doubt, or thinking it's possible their child is lying or exaggerating or has misunderstood the situation? Or saying to their kid 'well you did the wrong thing/broke the rules, and there are consequences for that, and that's life' or something...I'll take anything!

    Anyway, that's my little rant. Sorry for the OT post, it definitely wasn't directed at anyone in this thread.
    I have been enforcing their ruling at home. They know fighting is not allowed and since my DS teach spoke me me a week ago he hasn't been in trouble since. I just wasn't aware like other mums at the school weren't aware, that hugging is a form of fighting.


 

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