Thanks all. Amazing replies with interesting point of views. I can understand it from all points mind you.
About doing this infront of the kids and not going about it well I agree. I by no means ment to do that, I was purely pointing out at the start that they were hugging. trying to let the teacher know I was supervising and aware. Then she pulled the aditude on my so I got nasty back. I had a horrible morning with the boys so I was keeping them on a short 'lease' to make sure to be on top of any fighting and not listening. And afterwards I even said to my friend she must of had a bad morning and was happy to leave it.
I certainly don't expect my rules at school. I was only aware of ds fighting so I kept up on that and was enforcing the no fighting or rough play. So thata why when she said he got detention for *that* I was taken back because I was told it was for fighting not hugging so was standing up to my son when he got told off for hugging because as far as I know hugging was allowed.
God I hope that makes sence. really weird writing big post on phone..