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  1. #1
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    Default How did you decide you were 'done'?

    I have two beautiful boys and I'm currently pregnant with no 3 (who's a girl . Logically speaking this is our last baby. We want to travel with the kids, our life is chaotic and busy already and we want to save for the kids future and also provide them with lots of opportunities now. Plus we homeschool so busy is going to get busier soon

    BUT... looking at my two year old and my almost six year old now I just can't get my heart around this being it. I miss sleep ins and free time as much as the next person but the idea of this being the last baby to smile and crawl and have toddler tantrums and wake me at 5am for cuddles just feels wrong.

    I'm not sure if I'm going to feel done when this bubba is here. Hubby is happy for this to be our last but would support a fourth if I wanted one... I just didn't expect to feel clucky for more when pregnant lol.

    How did you decide you were done having babies? Or did you stop for logical reasons but don't feel finished?

  2. #2
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    I just couldnt see anymore room in my heart for another child, couldn't see a 4th..the idea is just too much for me. My DF was done with 2, I pushed him for a 3rd and I know a 4th would be too much for him too. I will always look fondly on my children as babies and I love my friends babies but I am in no way clucky at all

    In saying all this I didnt rule out a 4th completely until DD was 1.5yrs old. You have plenty of time

    Eta we dont have any logical reasons, ours was purely choice.

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    We just couldn't emotionally or physically do it again we decided that with 4 children to other relationships and 2 of our own that was it. Both our babies had colic and reflux and it's been really tough we couldn't do it again. I'd love another and struggle with that being all I am only 23 after all but DP is done that's just something I have to come to terms with. He also wants to travel with these 2 before the eldest starts school in 2-3 years.


    Love DD and DS with all my heart and more x

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    Just had my third and we are done. I was tired with this pregnancy. Bone tired. DH felt that logistically 3 was enough. For me, my body was telling me it was time. I am very slow to recover this time 'round and keeping my milk has been a trial. So while I'd love a 4th, it's not to be. I have 3 healthy kids though so I am grateful for that.

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    I said all through my second pregnancy that this was my last. I have a boy and a girl, plus a step son. During surgery (I had a c section) there were issues discovered which has resulted in my Ob firmly saying on numerous occasions "no more babies". He will not explore tubal litigation as he doesn't want to unneccessarily operate in that region. I'm 29.
    To make the decision consciously is one thing, but to have it taken from you is quite another. Although I said no more, it was more for financial reasons. Now that I've been told i can't, I have a 7 week old baby and want another because I didn't know it would definitely be my last pregnancy IYKWIM. I didn't get to experience "this is my last..(insert morning sickness, pregnancy clothes shopping, finding out gender, experiencing delivery etc here). I think it is a very personal decision but you know in your heart when you're done. .

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    I just feel at peace now where as before I didn't feel finished, I'm 27 weeks pregnant with our fourth and last. 3 boys 1 girl and I never warn to go through another pregnancy. Mind you this one and the third were very testing having developed an incompetent cervix with my son being born 9 weeks premmie and now on bed rest with this one too. I just can't picture my future with any more kids.

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    I've just had my second, and I've been wondering the same thing. I'm a solo mum so already out numbered!!

    What's the clincher for me is it would take time from my two kids. I wouldn't get any quality time with them anymore. So for that reason I think I'm done.

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    We are done now we have our two children.
    We feel we aren't spreading ourselves too thin with two, we can still do what we want, financially it works, and we are happy as we are.

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    I'm on the fence. We have ds7 and dd5mths. Both of them are amazingly easy happy little people and we don't have any sleep issues etc so apart from the newborn stage we are all functioning really well and enjoying life.
    I have always been super clucky and I just love the experience of being pregnant and making babies and how insanely fun it is to watch them discover the world. I'm not working anymore to be at home with the kids. I wonder sometimes if we should have just one more while I am already at home then retune to ft work when that bubs is older or if this is a good balance and life is manageable and happy atm so we shouldn't tip the scales.

    DF however only ever wanted one child. He has one bio & one step now. So he is done and doesn't want to discuss more. But I don't believe he would be in the slightest bit disappointed if we did have another. He is a very hands on dad and loves every second of it.

    So hard.
    Like OP said. How do you know your done?
    I'm worried in a few yrs I will regret not trying for #3. But what if we have #3 and realise it was a mistake? Does that happen or do you just make it work?

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by MadeWithLove View Post
    I'm on the fence. We have ds7 and dd5mths. Both of them are amazingly easy happy little people and we don't have any sleep issues etc so apart from the newborn stage we are all functioning really well and enjoying life.
    I have always been super clucky and I just love the experience of being pregnant and making babies and how insanely fun it is to watch them discover the world. I'm not working anymore to be at home with the kids. I wonder sometimes if we should have just one more while I am already at home then retune to ft work when that bubs is older or if this is a good balance and life is manageable and happy atm so we shouldn't tip the scales.

    DF however only ever wanted one child. He has one bio & one step now. So he is done and doesn't want to discuss more. But I don't believe he would be in the slightest bit disappointed if we did have another. He is a very hands on dad and loves every second of it.

    So hard.
    Like OP said. How do you know your done?
    I'm worried in a few yrs I will regret not trying for #3. But what if we have #3 and realise it was a mistake? Does that happen or do you just make it work?
    Our DS was unplanned but once he was here we fell in love anyway it's been hard but worth it. It makes me sad that I spent my entire pregnancy with him stressing and worrying that we had done the wrong thing but we wouldn't change it for the world. So my answer is you just make it work and you enjoy it :-)


    Love DD and DS with all my heart and more x
    Last edited by LiterallyNoOne; 13-03-2014 at 10:36.


 

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