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  1. #1
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    Default How to broach the subjects of bullying etc with a 4 year old

    Bare with me this is a bit long-winded...
    Ds is in his 4th week of kindy.

    I know I might be jumping the gun but I just want to check that he's ok...

    He is a bit short. & skinny for his age, he's a very sensitive little kid, gets a bit anxious sometimes. He isn't the most confident 4yo, I see alot of myself in him which kind of worries me coz I'm very introverted.

    Moving to a new state, he has no friends except for his little bro, who is a bit more rough and tumble than him.

    Anyways Ds opened up a bit about kindy today.

    He said he loves school but he said he doesn't like 'boy a' because 'he plays tricks on me'... Now Ds wouldnt even know what a trick was from us, so he's learnt that phrase at school.

    I couldn't figure out If boy a was trying to exclude him from playing, whether he did something not nice or whether Ds is just exaggerating.

    So where to from here?

    How do I, in 4 yo language, ask if all is cool or if bad things are happening?

    I got picked on as a kid in primary school. I don't want the same thing to happen to Ds.

  2. #2
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    How about asking him how these "tricks" make him feel & go from there.

    I would be having a chat to the teacher about your concerns as well. Once he does make friendships, encourage play dates to help him develop his social interactions.

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    Bump.. Anyone else?

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Smyles View Post
    How about asking him how these "tricks" make him feel & go from there.

    I would be having a chat to the teacher about your concerns as well. Once he does make friendships, encourage play dates to help him develop his social interactions.
    Thanks 4 the reply.

    Ye I did go down the feelings path. He said he felt sad.

    I'll speak to the teacher tomorrow, I don't want him to not be a social kid.

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    Maybe start with a little role play as to what a 'trick' is. Ask him if that what the trick was like and then if he says no get him to do it to you. Hopefully he plays along. You might be able to get him to draw a picture of the trick and he can then explain the trick. Depending on the seriousness you then can take it to the teacher to discuss or if it's really low level stuff you could help him practise some assertive behaviour.

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    He actually offered up a fair but of info voluntarily.

    He said that the kid either wouldn't let him into the cubby house or wouldn't let him out of the cubby house, but not in a fun way. However the kid said to him as 'I'm going to play a trick on you'..

    The teacher then came over to help out.

    My Ds actually did say 'I don't like him he played a trick on me'... Which kinda worries me. And then said that they're the 'big boys' - but they're all in kindy, and I don't want him to think he is different.

    I guess coz he is little for his age, and dh has said he got picked on for being short as well.

    I kinda just worry about his resilience, and ability to deal with sh1t like this if and when it gets worse.

    He is an amazing kid. I just want to protect him (I'm a bit teary thinking about this all).

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    *hugs* it's so tough when they're at school... I was amazed at how early the bullying and nastiness starts

    Have a chat to the teacher. Just tell her what you said here and just ask if she's noticed anything, ask how your DS has been coping and is there anything you can do at home. Most teachers are pretty onto it and see everything that goes on.

    Does he have a special friend at school? A boy in my DDs class was being picked on by the other boys but felt pretty close to my DD. So his mum pulled me aside to tell me, and I just had a chat with DD and told her to make sure to include him and offer to be his partner and things like that. So maybe there's a mum who you can chat to?

    Good luck xx

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    Your poor little man, xxx.


 

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