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  1. #41
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    A quick question and I don't mean to hijack OP sorry, just curious, but before having kids, did anyone talk to their partners about what they expected from the other after baby come home or did you just fall into your 'roles' and discovered expectations from this after the fact?

    I don't have any kids but DF helps me look after my nieces and nephews when I baby-sit, he has kids already and is so good with them

  2. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chillies View Post
    A quick question and I don't mean to hijack OP sorry, just curious, but before having kids, did anyone talk to their partners about what they expected from the other after baby come home or did you just fall into your 'roles' and discovered expectations from this after the fact?

    I don't have any kids but DF helps me look after my nieces and nephews when I baby-sit, he has kids already and is so good with them
    We talked it over and were clear about what we were both expecting. Also having seen some friends do things certain ways we were conscious of what we didn't want to happen.

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    Chillies  (12-03-2014)

  4. #43
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    i have really loved reading everyones stories - you're right in saying that all situations are different but I need to be happy with the balance. i think that if there were some chores we do together it would help instead of feeling everything's a tagteam, like living parallel. i dont need as much time away for hobbies as he does, would rather be at home both doing jobs, and both spending time with kids on weekends.

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    Gothel  (12-03-2014)

  6. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chillies View Post
    A quick question and I don't mean to hijack OP sorry, just curious, but before having kids, did anyone talk to their partners about what they expected from the other after baby come home or did you just fall into your 'roles' and discovered expectations from this after the fact?

    I don't have any kids but DF helps me look after my nieces and nephews when I baby-sit, he has kids already and is so good with them
    Hubby and I didn't specifically talk about the division if work effort for when we had kids and I was home on mat leave etc. that being said we were together for ages before having kids and hubby had proven himself as pulling equal weight around the house. We had also been through a few times when one of us was extra busy (eg hubby studying and working) and it was an unspoken rule that the other one picked up the slack and free time at home was split 50-50.

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    Chillies  (12-03-2014)

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    I don't expect my DP to do anything other than the lawns when they need doing. He works huge days (gone at 4am home at 6pm) 6 days a week in the blazing hot sun, he does more than enough. I'm happy looking after the house all on my own, I'm very particular in my ways so I'd be annoyed with the way he does things anyway lol!

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  10. #46
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    We have always done things 50/50 around the house and nothing changed when we had kids and I stopped going out to work. I don't think it's fair for me to do it all with small children at home, or possible! I am tired enough doing my share so seriously would be burnt out doing all of it.

    We both live in the house, it's upkeep is both our responsibility. As a pp said, my job is taking care of the kids. Not being a full time cleaner and cook too.

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    When Dh comes home (usually around 6pm, so I'm still feeding the kids), he'll join us for dinner and help feed Ds2 (he's 2yrs old). Then he'll play with the kids for a little while before bathing them. I'll wash the dishes while he baths/puts Pj's on them. After their baths, Dh is in charge of getting Ds2 to bed (read books, brush teeth etc), while I'll do the same with Ds1. Usually Dh will finish off any dishes in the sink (milk cups etc). On Monday nights he takes the bins out.
    On the weekends I prefer he 'entertain' the kids while I dust / vacuum and that night one of us will mop. If clothes need to be hung, he'll hang them to. I prefer to fold as I prefer my way
    Oh and Dh mows the lawns, weeds etc

    I feel that I do a tad more though, such as grocery shopping, pay bills, cook dinner etc, but it really is just easier if I do.


 

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