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  1. #1
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    Default Newly single mum

    Hi everyone,

    I'm a newly single 24 year old mum of a 19 month old boy. It's only been about a week. I am struggling and I don't know where to turn. My friends and family are so worried and I don't want to give them cause to worry more.

    He just left. Told me he didn't love me anymore and that was it. We're tying to get along for our son and so far so good. But I'm broken inside. My heart aches so much. In my mind we were planning a wedding, saving for a house and trying for another baby. And just like in the blink of an eye my life was turned upside down. I feel like I can't breathe sometimes. I can't eat, I can't sleep. He says it's nothing I did wrong and I know I didn't do anything wrong because I tried constantly to make things work and always put in the effort. But why do I feel like a failure ? I feel worthless and unlovable. I feel alone and shattered. I just want to throw up most of the time because I'm so upset I feel so sick. Sometimes I feel ok.. Than a few hours later I'll be sobbing again. I just don't know what to do.

  2. #2
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    I haven't been in your position but wanted to send you a big hug anyway. There are many lovely ladies on here who are single supermums and have lots of advice if you need it.

  3. #3
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    I'm very sorry to hear you're going through this! It sounds horrible 😞 you could try talking to lifeline or something similar, if just to get all your thoughts and feelings out to somebody you don't actually know so you won't feel embarrassed to let it all out.
    Otherwise confide in a friend or a family member... They WILL want to help you, and you need to accept their help, you need to look after yourself so you can be there for your little man. I wish you all the best, there are many others on here who will be along with some better advice I'm sure 😊

  4. #4
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    Big hugs for you and your little one. This must be a very difficult time for you, and having the support and love of your family will help you through it. Make sure you are gentle with yourself and let yourself go through these emotions.

    If you check out relationships Australia website they have some info that may help.

    Also I think there is a single parents website that has groups and meetings etc that may be helpful for advice too. Big hugs

    Me 36 PCOS DP 44 perfect.
    Jan 2007 - June 2008 OI (chlomid & Gonal F)
    DS arrived April 2009 - a pure blessing
    TTC since April 2010
    MC number 6 in May 2013, moving on to new specialist and IVF

  5. #5
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    Huge hugs. I've had the same thing happen to me. It's terribly overwhelming in the beginning, I know exactly how you're feeling. All I would advise you to do right now is to make sure you have support from your family and friends. I pretty much had someone living with me for the first few weeks, to feed/care for the kids and do the housework. After a few weeks you should be starting to have longer periods of 'being ok' in which time you'll have to start organising the logistics of your new life.
    Take care.

  6. #6
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    My heart just goes out to you! I was about your age with an 18 month old boy when my relationship with his Dad fell apart. The main thing I want you to know is it will get easier in time. I know it seems like cold comfort now but better this happen now than further down the track with 2 or more kids in the equation. Please take some comfort it knowing that it won't be like this forever. Those times when you 'feel ok' will gradually grow and you will feel human again. I'm now almost 28 and have re partnered and while things aren't always perfect, I feel like I am in control again. Keep your friends and family close if possible, they are your key to feeling better. Whatever you do, don't isolate yourself!

    Big hugs, feel free to pm me for a chat anytime.

  7. #7
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    Huge hugs! I was 23 with a 2 month old when exDP left, it was hard & I cried but the only thing that helped was the support of family & friends. I have now repartnered & DDs father & I get along great now. It takes time but you'll be okay

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  8. #8
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    Huge hugs OP. I was 19 with an almost 1 year old when her dad left. I have been in your shoes, felt those emotions. Give yourself time to grieve however you need too. Those negative feelings do subside but you also need to address them and not bottle them up. Lean on your family and friends when you need to- they worry because they love you and from experience they worry more when you pretend you are ok but inside you are far from it. Its a huge balancing act but as much as you need to deal with what you are feeling, you also need to be careful nit to dwell on the negatives. I know its hard but try to find a hobby or do something you enjoy, even if you have to force yourself at first.

    You will be ok. Life will be ok. There is a wonderful supportive community here in BH that you can turn to whenever you need.

    Sent from my GT-I9300 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  9. #9
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    Loads of hugs!! It's such a ****e thing to happen!!! Just let yourself cry!! It's been nearly 2yrs for me and I still regularly cry in the shower!!
    Do you cosleep? On days where I feel like I can't breathe from grief I bring my son in bed with me! Admittedly sometimes I feel worse as I think about how much my son is missing out on without a dad, but most of the time the cuddles help
    Can you see a counsellor? Mine was fantastic and really helped me through those times that looking back on, I have no idea how I survived!!


 

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