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  1. #1
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    Default Anyone done IVF/sperm donation as a single woman?

    Quite curious about it. I've read a little and it might be an option for me if the time comes that I decide I need to become a mum and the right man hasn't come along - that time probably isn't too far away either, I'll probably look into more seriously in 12 months or so.

    I have a lot of friends who've warned me being a single mum is tough, but the alternative of getting to 50 and it all being to late and the regret I'd feel the rest of my life would have to be worse.

    Really interested to hear from anyone else in a similar situation.

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    I considered that option when I was about 32. There were no men on the horizon, my younger sister was pregnant and I really wanted a child and could also see time slipping away. I had been doing so much on my own anyway...

    A nurse talked me out of it when I brought up the issue. Fast forward several years and I was married and pregnant at age 39. It can be tough being a mum even *with* a supportive partner, so I have no idea how single mums do it. They are superwomen. Maybe you could be a superwoman too?!!

    Anyway, I wanted to write and say not to be put off and not to be talked out of what you want to do. Women have done it on their own before and will continue to do it on their own for a multitude of reasons.

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    bhjules  (08-03-2014)

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    If you are over 35 then the time is now. I know of about 5 people that have done it just in my circle of friend

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    bhjules  (08-03-2014)

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    wow, really lilypily? that's encouraging?
    my living situation isn't ideal right now, but I think beginning of next year I'll have enough saved to be able to move which will offer me some more stability. Then I'll definitely looking seriously at my options.

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    It's very much the done thing and clinics have a massive portion of single mums. Fertility waits for no man so don't miss out.

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    A close friend is currently pregnant using donor sperm. She's single and mid-30s, her situation probably isn't completely ideal but she made the decision and went for it. It has been very tough so far, she's been very unwell and had worrying test results for bub. I'm confident she can do it but she also has lots of family support.

    I'm pretty sure that Medicare only covers you if there is a medical reason for reduced fertility (PCOS, endo etc or if you're diagnosed with unexplained infertility, or if your partner has sperm problems) but not for what they call "social infertility" i.e. single or same-sex relationship. So if money is an issue for you, make sure you know your options and look into the various clinics and their costs/payment options.

    I fully support women doing IVF on their own but I do think you need to very carefully consider how you'll manage (financially, support networks, child care etc) and how your choices will impact the child. It sounds like you're already starting that thought process.

    ETA- I am also pregnant with an IVF baby (we have fertility issues) so I know what you'd potentially go through. It's tough when you're partnered, so it will certainly test you on your own. My friend has also had to deal with quite a lot of direct criticism and outright rude/nasty comments from people so a thick skin definitely helps!
    Last edited by Cue; 08-03-2014 at 22:14.

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    Social infertility is a myth. Medicare will cover you even if u are single or in a same sex relationship as long as you have a referral to a clinic from your doctor, I know cause I am in a same sex relationship and each cycle we have been refunded.

    Some fs throw that social infertility around but it's never happened in either of the clinics we have been to.

    As for single ivfers I know a couple that have done on their own with no problems, at the end of the day you will be no different to any other single mums out there


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    I was discussing this with DH earlier last year. I think knowing how much I love our kids there is no way that if I was single and childless that I wouldn't try donor sperm and IVF to fall pregnant. Of course I would wait like you have and consider my position, support, finances and most of all the child.

    All the best x.

  11. #9
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    Medicare will cover you. Every one of my friends has has it covered and are so happy that they went down this road. Go for it

  12. #10
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    I think its shocking that medicare will cover 'social infertility' but not surrogacy it should all be covered imo.

    Me + DF
    DS1- Sep '07
    DS2- Nov '08
    DD- July '11
    Our family is complete!

    Gestational Surrogate- FET#1 March '14


 

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