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  1. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Degrassi View Post
    How very insensitive

    No pressure from grandparents on either side for us. I think my parents would be terrified if I fell pregnant again due to the complications I had with DS.

    I get asked about having number 2 mostly by extended family, who I don't see too often anyway. I have several valid reasons for not having another baby!

    I can only imagine it would be really hard to have people hounding you about having another when you are having trouble TTC.
    I had some pretty awful complications with my pregnancy and birth too. I truly don't think people get it though.

    I'd love to hear some of the things people say when they are asked about having another....? I tend to just go quite at the moment and say we've been trying. I don't think I want to try anymore but I need people to back off with their opinions.

  2. #72
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    My daughter isn't exactly an only child, she has 2 half brothers but they are 17 & 19 and they don't live with us. I'm still getting the questions though because she's my only baby.

    My mum keeps saying she thinks it would be sad for her to grow up on her own, despite knowing we had to go through IVF to get her! Bub is only 12 weeks old, but I'm very conscious about making sure she will have plenty of opportunity for social interaction with other children. My sister has young kids, several of my friends have also had babies this year, and I'll be returning to work so bub will go to daycare.

    I always pictured I would have 2-3 children, but the cost of IVF is prohibitive, especially when there's no guarantees I'll fall pregnant straight away even though I did the first time. I am a bit sad I'll probably only have the one child, but I'm trying to concentrate on the positives of the situation rather than mourning the "loss" of babies never to be.


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  3. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    I had some pretty awful complications with my pregnancy and birth too. I truly don't think people get it though.

    I'd love to hear some of the things people say when they are asked about having another....? I tend to just go quite at the moment and say we've been trying. I don't think I want to try anymore but I need people to back off with their opinions.
    I often just say we're not sure if we'll have another and that we're pretty happy with just DS. Sometimes I tell the truth and say I'm yet to have that yearning feeling for a second child. Sometimes I'll refrain from rambling on and just say something like "not sure, we'll see". Or I say "We don't know. We went through a lot to have DS so I'm not sure".

    It's not hard for me to answer the questions though because I am comfortable with having only one child at this stage.

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    babyla  (19-06-2014)

  5. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by Degrassi View Post
    I often just say we're not sure if we'll have another and that we're pretty happy with just DS. Sometimes I tell the truth and say I'm yet to have that yearning feeling for a second child. Sometimes I'll refrain from rambling on and just say something like "not sure, we'll see". Or I say "We don't know. We went through a lot to have DS so I'm not sure".

    It's not hard for me to answer the questions though because I am comfortable with having only one child at this stage.
    Yeah I need to get comfortable with it. Thanks! Until then I think it's best I don't go into deep discussion with people about it. I get hurt when they don't get it and I then second guess my own feelings.

  6. #75
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    I used to say we are just having the one but got sick of the "poor kid needs a sibling " response so now I just tell the truth " we've had a few miscarriages and looks like another baby won't be happening for us " - it usually stops them from commenting and they never mention it again ( never my close friends or family but clients and friends of friends with other kids ask all the time and random strangers which I don't get!!)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Elijahs Mum View Post
    I used to say we are just having the one but got sick of the "poor kid needs a sibling " response so now I just tell the truth " we've had a few miscarriages and looks like another baby won't be happening for us " - it usually stops them from commenting and they never mention it again ( never my close friends or family but clients and friends of friends with other kids ask all the time and random strangers which I don't get!!)
    Maybe I should try your approach.. "We tried for a year but it didn't happen and now we have found out dd has a serious autoimmune disease we can't take on anymore pressure right now" that should make them uncomfortable enough to never ask again.

  8. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by babyla View Post
    I had some pretty awful complications with my pregnancy and birth too. I truly don't think people get it though.

    I'd love to hear some of the things people say when they are asked about having another....? I tend to just go quite at the moment and say we've been trying. I don't think I want to try anymore but I need people to back off with their opinions.
    Another option is to start crying? I don't mean pretty, sniffly, pass me a tissue please Demi-Moore-in-Ghost crying either. I'm talking snot leaking everywhere, snorting, loud, unattractive, embarrassing (to them) ugly bawling.

    Maybe then they would think twice about sticking their nose into someone else's business.

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    babyla  (19-06-2014),BH-KatiesMum  (20-06-2014)

  10. #78
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    Quote Originally Posted by HopefulK View Post
    Another option is to start crying? I don't mean pretty, sniffly, pass me a tissue please Demi-Moore-in-Ghost crying either. I'm talking snot leaking everywhere, snorting, loud, unattractive, embarrassing (to them) ugly bawling.

    Maybe then they would think twice about sticking their nose into someone else's business.
    I was actually pretty close to doing this the other day but held it in, perhaps next time I won't

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    MsViking  (19-06-2014)

  12. #79
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    We have a 4 year old DS. A lot of our friends are onto their 3rd & we are constantly asked when we'll be having more. I get frustrated that people can't understand or respect that I'm happy with just the one child & that our DS is happy too.

    Past few weeks Hubby has started dropping hints that he'd like a 2nd child but I'm just not sure if I'll ever want another.

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    Why is it people have such a confused look when they ask when #2 will be and I tell them I am happy with one and have no desire for another child


 

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