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  1. #51
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    The whole lonely only child assumption is just a myth really. Many non-only children re lonely, and many only children are not at all lonely. There's lots if factors involved regarding happiness, loneliness etc. I can do a lot with DS that I wouldn't be able to do with 2, and that will be true in future too especially regarding travel etc. that would cost that much more money with two or more kids. I find one child is a nice balance for me. Two children would take over my life!

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  3. #52
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    Well I'm not an only child but my dad is. The thing about it for me is, there are no aunties or uncles or cousins from my dad's side. I'm lucky my mum has 9 brothers and sisters and I've got loads of cousins that way. But I think as my dad gets older (75 this year) and with his parents long gone, he only has 1 cousin in his family that he keeps in touch with. Whereas my mum has 8 brothers and sisters who are still alive and out of that 8, 5 live within 2 hours of each other so they see each other all the time.

  4. #53
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    Hi we have 1 son who has just turned 2 who will be our one and only.
    We would have loved another child but our son was born at 24 weeks & its a miracle that we have him with us & that he's happy & healthy. Specialists have said theres a 50% chance that a 2nd pregnancy would also end up as another micro-prem & I'd be extremely lucky to get to 27 weeks next time. We just can't risk it! We are still upset at times about what might have been but also feel extremely blessed to have our little boy. He is our whole world.
    I guess we are "lucky" because people who know about DS's birth understand why we are stopping at one.

  5. #54
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    Sorry to butt in, as I have 3 children, but I can think of a few kids who love being an only child, and a couple more who now have siblings, but aren't thrilled by the idea that they have a sibling because they really loved being an only child. I think people need to butt out of other people's family dynamics!

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  7. #55
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    I'm an only child.
    Yes, I used to imagine what it would have been like to have siblings, but I wasn't lonely. I had lots of friends and one in particular who's house I used to cost a lot and vice versa.

    There's also a lot of perks to having no siblings. Own room, own toys, all attention from parents.

    I myself, have had 2 children. Hubby and I wanted more than one. Not because I feel my first would have been missing out, it was just our choice.
    We are stopping at 2 though. Too many kids would feel chaotic for me


    DH & I <3
    DD 2 years old
    DS born July 2013
    Lolakitty - fur baby

  8. #56
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joeee View Post
    Hi all I am pregnant with number 1 and dh and I are pretty sure this will be it for us. We want to be parents but we also want a certain lifestyle that isnt only about children. . People say im cruel and selfish for not wanting to give our bub a sibling but I don't see it that way. That being said I am not closing the door completely.. but its a wait and see thing

    Sent from my GT-I9507 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    Cruel? Wow lol people act like you are keeping a lonely bird in a cage on it's own forever. I think they forget kids go to school and socialise....and grow up. Any only child will be fine. Just like a child with siblings will be fine.


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  10. #57
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    I grew up an only child with a single parent. I was never lonely growing up and in fact had wonderful social skills because if I wanted to play with someone at the park I had to "make friends" rather than just rely on my sibling as a play mate. I also had a wonderful imagination, loved reading, was able to talk well to adults from a young age and had great leadership skills.

    My only negative is as an adult it would've been nice to have siblings with kids so my children had cousins and I had more family when I had PND to support me and talk baby stuff with.

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  12. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by kw123 View Post
    To be honest it is likely we will have another at some point I think.

    I suffered PTSD/PND which really affected my ability to ever consider going through it again potentially. But now I am recovered I do get the urge for another and can see another in our future. But no final decision yet. I really needed that time to heal (mentally) and having the pressure lifted about having to think of another really helped me with that.

    I know it's different for you as the option of having a second has to some extent been taken away (without going through IUI, etc). I have to admit if we had issues conceiving again we would just have the one. We wouldn't do IVF or anything.

    There is no one size fits all approach to family! Xx
    You're right there is no one size fits all! And people have such varied experiences that impact on their decisions. I have a brother and sister who I am pretty close to and I guess that impacts somewhat. But I also feel like I might not be a great mother to 2 kids - I worry about how I will cope. I have struggled a lot at times just having one. I also feel like I put pressure on myself to do it soon due to not wanting a much bigger age gap. I think I'm just going to sit on it the next few months and see how I feel. I'm stopping work pretty much permanently until the end of the year and then taking leave without pay to start another venture. The full time work, travel is not really conducive to be confident in making decisions - exhaustion is definitely having an impact on things.

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  14. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ellewood View Post
    The whole lonely only child assumption is just a myth really. Many non-only children re lonely, and many only children are not at all lonely. There's lots if factors involved regarding happiness, loneliness etc. I can do a lot with DS that I wouldn't be able to do with 2, and that will be true in future too especially regarding travel etc. that would cost that much more money with two or more kids. I find one child is a nice balance for me. Two children would take over my life!
    A lot of this sounds like how I feel and I agree loneliness happens to people regardless of sibling status. Loneliness isn't actually one of my considerations for deciding, its just not something that I'm worried about with DS.

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    Quote Originally Posted by lilybaby View Post
    Hi we have 1 son who has just turned 2 who will be our one and only.
    We would have loved another child but our son was born at 24 weeks & its a miracle that we have him with us & that he's happy & healthy. Specialists have said theres a 50% chance that a 2nd pregnancy would also end up as another micro-prem & I'd be extremely lucky to get to 27 weeks next time. We just can't risk it! We are still upset at times about what might have been but also feel extremely blessed to have our little boy. He is our whole world.
    I guess we are "lucky" because people who know about DS's birth understand why we are stopping at one.
    You have a true miracle... Enjoy him.

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