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    Gothel's Avatar
    Gothel is offline Skip the drama, stay with Mama!
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    Default Worried about dd6 & friends in grade 1

    I'm After opinions onhow tohandle this. Dd6 isn't having a great time in g1 so far. She got placed in a class with her best friend from prep (who is a lovely girl). But one of the other girls in her class has started excluding dd6 from games with the best friend, blocking dd6 in the line up so she can't line up with her friend, and has been putting sand and cr@p in dd6s hair and laughing at her.

    Dd6 has spoken to her teacher who hasn't really provided much help. I'm unsure how much I should intervene or what I can do to help. Dd6 is a sensitive kid and doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings (including the 'mean' girl) but when we talk about things she could say etc, it's obvious dd6 doesn't know how to handle it. Help!

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    Go above the teachers head. That is bullying and needs to be dealt with.

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    First step would be to speak to the teacher yourself. If you have only heard DD6's side, i would speak to the teacher in person.

    It is possible that when your DD spoke with the teacher he/she didn't realise how much it had been happening.

    Give the teacher a chance to sort it out...and then if it is still happening, then speak with the principal.

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    Quote Originally Posted by River Song View Post
    First step would be to speak to the teacher yourself. If you have only heard DD6's side, i would speak to the teacher in person.

    It is possible that when your DD spoke with the teacher he/she didn't realise how much it had been happening.

    Give the teacher a chance to sort it out...and then if it is still happening, then speak with the principal.
    From my understanding the op has spoken to the teacher more than once about it.

    If I am wrong than please speak to teacher first.

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    The problem is, last month there was an issue where a different kid who is very competitive was insisting on being first in the line up, and he was pushing dd6 around if she was first. She spoke to the teacher who didn't give much help, didn't take dd6 seriously and told her to shake it off. Dd6 actually got pushed into the ground twice. I spoke to the teacher three times about it. Eventually dd6 told me that the teacher said that star of the week has to stand at the front of the line. And that the pushy kid was put on the naughty mat and threatened with being sent to the principal. But the teacher didn't speak to me about it at all.

    Last year their prep teacher was wonderful, looked after them really well and supported them heaps in the playground. This year - nothing. I have no faith in that teacher at all. And now neither does dd6.
    Last edited by Gothel; 07-03-2014 at 09:08.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gothel View Post
    The problem is, last month there was an issue where a different kid who is very competitive was insisting on being first in the line up, and he was pushing dd6 around if she was first. She spoke to the teacher who didn't give much help, didn't take dd6 seriously and told her to shake it off. Dd6 actually got pushed into the ground twice. I spoke to the teacher three times about it. Eventually dd6 told me that the teacher said that star of the week has to stand at the front of the line. But she didn't speak to me about it at all.

    Last year their prep teacher was wonderful, looked after them really well and supported them heaps in the playground. This year - nothing. I have no faith in that teacher at all. And now neither does dd6.
    Even if you no confidence in her you must speak to her first. Than the principal. I would also call into the office and ask for a copy of their behavior conduct/bullying procedures.

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    Quote Originally Posted by anewme View Post
    From my understanding the op has spoken to the teacher more than once about it.

    If I am wrong than please speak to teacher first.
    I didn't actually talk to the teacher about this incident but three times about the last one. Am I wrong to expect that the teacher should provide more support to a 6yo, or are they just supposed to navigate this sh!t by themselves? I don't want to judge a book by its cover but the teacher looks old fashioned and not very comforting. She isn't very animated, everything is a monotone. My stomach fell a little when I saw who dd6s teacher would be this year tbh
    Last edited by Gothel; 07-03-2014 at 09:13.

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    I would document the different occasions.
    It is quite normal for classes to have "leaders" for the week, but it doesn't excuse children from pushing other children around - the teacher should have made it clear to your DD that there were leaders but also given the other child consequences for poor behaviour.

    Year 1 and 2 girls are notorious for being a little difficult at times in regards to excluding others but again - they should be taught and reinforced that this is not the way it should be. If we had a child excluding others at school they would be excluded from play, not their lunch, but just sitting down outside during play time.

    I would do as River Song suggested - talk to the teacher about this first - put your words in writing and keep a copy so that if it isn't followed up you can see the Principal.

    It is hard to know the exact circumstances as a parent as we only hear one side - have a chat to the teacher and follow it further if necessary. Sometimes the teacher doesn't know that it's an ongoing thing and other times there is more to the story. Just be careful how you approach it - I've had a couple of parents come in guns blazing only to walk home with their tail between their legs highly embarrassed after finding out the whole truth. On the other hand though, I really appreciated calm parents informing me of something that I was unaware was happening (usually due to the children playing in a different playground to where you are rostered) and was more than happy to follow it up as I think this behaviour is completely unacceptable at school...or anywhere!

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    Id speak to the teacher and explain the situation and ask her what will be done. Also ask about the schools bullying policy as what the other girl is doing should be classed as bullying and dealt with accordingly

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    Argh, this is the story of my DD's life. Girls are such little cows. Although my DD's year is apparently one of the b!tchiest the school has ever seen. DD is in year 3 and this 'excluding' nonsense has been going on since kindergarten.
    I have spoken to my DD, all the time, about how to deal with it, probably mostly stuff you've said already, but I also tell her that although she really wants to play with the bestie, if the mean girl is always going to be there then she needs to decide whether she can put up with that, or whether she should just go and play with a different group. She usually persists in playing with the bestie though.
    She deals with it all quite well, is very diplomatic to mean girls, but does ask for the teacher on duty's help sometimes. They will sometimes help, sometimes do nothing.
    If she complains to me too much about it, I will speak to the class teacher. These girls have had *many* meetings in the past about behaviour.
    This year, I think it's only a 3-6 thing, they do 'restorative circles' at least every week, with the class or just with a group of kids. It's kind of like mediation, where each kid has a chance to speak up about what's bothering them and they try and come to a solution. My kids love them and say they work very well. Maybe you could ask the school if they do anything like that? Although as I said I think it's for older primary.

    Good luck. I find it all very frustrating to listen to as a parent, but I just don't think there's much you can do, even if the teachers are strict on it, it only takes one little snide comment to cause more tension and upset.

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