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  1. #1
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    Default DH & I fighting constantly

    DH & I have started fighting pretty much evrry day. I dont know why & its really upsetting me & making me really anxious about the affect its having on the baby.

    Im also worried about not having a relationship left at the end of this.

    Honestly im ready to just go & get a hotel room for a while & then work out where im going to live from there, cause I cant keep doing this. Im terrified of going into labour too early because of the stress.

    I thought id enjoy being pregnant but im not. thinking of the baby makes me happy cause I love it so much already but I never wanted to have a baby & lose my husband.

    Sorry for this thread, just having a cry. God I hope the baby will get through all this ok!

    Sent from my SM-T210 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    Hi, I went through this. My second trimester was basically one big argument. I was scared of labour and being a good mum and well DF was just terrified of it all! I don't really have much advice because we just rode it out. Ds was born healthy and happy though. In fact, he is a little unwell tonight (cold) but he keeps smiling and laughing at me
    I know I wasn't much practical help I just wanted to let you know you will be ok!!!


    Me + Him = Perfection born
    05/11/13

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    Thank-you, I hope it all turns out well for me too? Can I ask, did it affect your relationship with your partner? Cause I'm worried that at the rate we are going we'll have nothing left in terms of a relationship to salvage at the end of all this.

    DH is terrified too, I know that & so am I. But we just can't seem to talk to each other anymore, we just scream & yell instead.

    I sometimes wish I could just get a hotel room for a while, maybe that would help. But I also have to think about getting to work & they are all so expensive. My parents don't have a spare bed anymore, just an air-mattress which I can't sleep on. So I guess I just have to weather it out & hope & pray that the baby is ok & holds on in there at least until it's viable on the outside.

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    I wouldn't go and get a hotel.
    What are you fighting about?
    Do you love him still? How do you feel about him?

    I think you need to maybe ring him and say "tonight we are going to have a talk, I don't want to argue or yell. Let's just talk" give him a chance to know it's coming rather than just bombarding him with it when he gets home.

    And then be open and honest with how you feel, if it starts getting to the point of yelling you just need to say "stop"
    Take a breath.
    If you are going to have a baby together you both need to learn to sort out your differences in a civilised way. Kids pick up on anger and it effects then when parents tell at each other.




    DH, Me and our two boys.
    #3 due 30th Sept

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    Now is a good time to learn how to communicate effectively because once the baby is born, things are going to be 1000x harder. Please don't bring a baby into a house where people scream and
    Shout and don't kid yourself that you're just going to be able to flick a switch and stop being like that once it's born. Splitting up isn't the answer either. You decided to have a child together therefore it's time to grow up and learn how to be a good mum and dad together. I would suggest some counselling or anger management classes for you both.

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    We're fighting about heaps of stuff, but most of it is silly things. The fact that I can't drive is a big one cause he just gets so frustrated cause he doesn't understand why I can't do it.

    I do still love him but I don't like feeling like this.

    We used to be fine & never fought like this until I got pregnant but now it seems like we are constantly at each other. I definitely don't want to bring a baby into this environment & hopefully we can fix this before the baby is born.

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    I'd highly recommend counselling, or at the VERY least looking up some communication techniques. Read about arguing, read about how to argue & resolve differences positively & effectively. Put some rules and techniques into practice.

    It's hard to change habits, but so so worth it if you both value your relationship. The sooner you do this the better, as a baby can add a LOT of stress, and new decisions to make & argue about.


 

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