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    Default baby blues

    Hi everyone,

    I am a first time mum to a beautiful boy of 10days.
    It has been very challenging to say the least and baby blues has really gotten to me. How did u all get through the baby blues period??

    I get anxious in the evening for the night ahead as he sleeps so well during the day and can sometimes be difficult to settle in the evenings.

    The first.several nights home from the hospital had been so overwhelming which set me off on an emotional first week.

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    Hi loulou, congrats on your bub and making it through the first 10 days. I'm sure there are plenty ladies on here with far better advice for you but 2 things particularly stand out for me about coping with my newborn. Firstly, take any offers of help or speak up if you are struggling. One Saturday when hubby was off I got him to look after bub for the arvo. I slept solidly 1pm-4pm and felt like a new women! (I expressed a feed)
    Secondly, I know it's a cliche but it does get easier. Expect the first 3 weeks to be a crazy whirlwind where you hardly even get to shower, you barely know if it's night or day and you can't workout which boob you last fed from. Knowing that mostly everyone goes through what you are and that in a few weeks it will be easier really helped. The first few weeks are really hard.
    Take care

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    Thanks Bel
    Everybody I speak to says 'it will.get better' 'it will become easier'... And so I'm hoping that is the case...
    I hate that he finds it hard to settle.him
    self to sleep at night and when he gets overtired I feel like it's my fault then stress out that he just wants to sleep but can't

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    Hi loulou!

    Keep in mind that you're tired and your body is still healing.

    If he is sleeping through the day for long blocks instead but not at night perhaps try and shift him around by feeding him regularly during the day, ie. 3-4 hours depending on how hungry he is. Then let him sleep as long as possible at night.

    My other recommendation would depend on how mobile you are and funds. But - get out!!!! Have lunch with a friend, even if you make it at home and take it over to share. Go shopping - newborns always need something as they grow.
    Get out with DH or order take out as a treat once a week for a few weeks.

    Is there someone who can cook a few meals for you to give you some "down time"?

    And most of all - rest when you are tired and bubs is fed. If they are fed, cleaned and cuddled then you are doing well and sometimes bubs have a bit of a cry when they go to sleep.

    Another possibility is that some babies get windy at the end of the day and find it harder to settle - their legs usually kick about and they generally seem uncomfortable when this happens. It can last for hours. Does this seem to be a possibility?

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    I'm sorry to repeat that line, but it's true - it does get easier. It helped me a bit to remind myself that the baby blues is just physiological (although if the anxiety isn't getting better or the baby blues doesn't go away within a week please see a GP to be checked for PND).

    Regarding the settling - he is still so tiny. He has been literally inside you for so long and he is used to hearing your heartbeat, feeling your warmth, rolling slowly around as you walk around. It will take time for him to adjust - to night and day, to being outside of your body - and even if he cries a lot remember he isn't crying because he's sad - he's crying to communicate a need. The tricky bit is working out what that need is, and I would swear to anyone who asks my son only had one cry for everything! It really made it so tricky in the early days. One thing I read that was so comforting to me is that babies know when you are trying to help them, even if we're getting it wrong!

    So, having said that, maybe it's also worth ruling out things like gas pain if he seems distressed. Is he feeding well? Is he a spewy baby?

    Hang in there, and please remember to ask for help if you feel overwhelmed. I never did and I really regret that now...

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    You sound like you are doing a great job! My sleep tricks were (and they aren't for everyone so feel free to ignore) was bub to self settle in cot, tightly wrapped and a dummy.


 

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