op, I also have a 1 & 3 yo & sometimes I feel like my kids want me constantly, it can be so difficult to have a conversation. How do they do if you were to sit down & play with them? Sometimes at playgroup, I have to fight my every urge to want to sit down with the other mums & have a coffee & chat, & I sit with my kids & play with them for 15 mins, doing tea parties or something like that. When I do, they get settled into the environment, and settled on an activity, and they will then be much happier for me to leave them. Other then that, I use food to shush them while I talk, lol. Could you possibly put DD in for a 2nd day at childcare? If she really enjoys it, she may just really benefit from the extra stimulation. That must be really difficult with no help, do you have someone/ partner who can come over when your kids are in bed & you can go out kid-free for a coffee with a friend or something? Sometimes just getting out without my kids really helps me to maintain my sense of 'I am a person too' & it can be really refreshing. It is such a tough stage of life, I hope things get easier for you as time goes along.