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  1. #1
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    Default Needy full on kids..

    Anyone else have them? I feel alone.
    I take them out to playgroups/play dates and libraries to socialise them (and me) but find they only cry, carry on and my 1yr old won't let me out him down. I don't get to talk to the other mums because my kids are both screaming about something, if not in my face pulling at my bra/clothes, cracking a tanty over what not and basically embarrassing me. I always have to leave mid convo to deal with them. The other kids are so calm and the parents get to chat to each other and enjoy the session. My 3 yr old has been doing to these activities since 18mths and my 1yr old has been taken along since a newborn. I just don't get it. My 3yr old attends day care also one day a week and has for about 12mths now.

    They cry and carry on so much at home, at the park, while out at the shops and need constant stimulation that I'm just exhausted and in now let them cry (when at home) and leave them to sort it out on their own....and they do to my amazement. I have to limit their outside time as they tend to scream and fight no matter what I do and I feel sorry for my neighbours.

    For the record, I have NO help. Hence why dd is in daycare and ds is also about to start. I just can't handle them!!! I feel like I'm the only mother like this?!

  2. #2
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    That sounds very tiring!! Are they perhaps over stimulated? How many times do you go to outside activities?

    I would probably try having quite a strict routine & see if that helps. Maybe limit outings to every second day?

    Example of routine:

    Breakfast
    Get dressed, brush teeth
    Morning Playtime
    Morning Tea
    Craft time (could be chalk drawing on the concrete) or water play
    Lunch time
    Sleep time/quiet time (movie, books, coloring in)
    Afternoon tea
    Outside Play
    Inside play
    Bath
    Dinner
    Quiet time & bed.

    I found that always being home in time for a rest in the middle of the day really helped.

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    debsch  (03-03-2014)

  4. #3
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    headoverfeet is offline The truth will set you free, but first it will **** you off. -Gloria Steinem
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    What kind of food do they eat?

  5. #4
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    I'm a bit if a routine freak. We have home days. They need them and I'm aware of when to have these days but it is endless fighting and screaming it is just easier to take them to a park and let them scream there. Ds will have a 3-3.5hr sleep In middle of day and dd will watch a movie/lounge around/colour in/craft. She is very loud and noisy and I'm constantly telling her to be quiet for 3hrs.
    theor diets are great. Good eaters. Ds doesn't stop eating/grazing all day yet still eats his meals.
    a typical day:
    7/7.30 up and dressed
    8am breakky
    9am out to activities and morning tea/snacks
    11/11.30 home for lunch and sleep
    11.30-3ish ds sleeps and I fight dd to be quiet. (Ds is a light sleeper).
    3.30 arvo tea and stay home free play which ends in me being referee. if feral head to a park
    5pm dinner
    6pm baths pjs books milk
    7pm bed for the night

    i disnt think our days were too stimulating at all we are only out for few hrs of a morning. They just want me. Every second of the day. And I am exhausted!

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    babylove81  (03-03-2014)

  7. #5
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    What kind of food are they eating? Could it be an intolerance causing behavioural problems?
    It sounds very full on, is there anyway you can get some help with them?
    Last edited by Lincolns mummy; 03-03-2014 at 21:33.

  8. #6
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    Mine are the same op. Dd1 is 3.5 and dd2 is 6 months. It's a constant battle to get dd2 to sleep in her cot during the day and if she does I spend the whole time telling dd1 to be quiet because bub is a mega light sleeper.
    The whole time dd1 refuses to play by herself at home or when we are out and she spends the whole time whinging.

    We went to a play centre yesterday for a birthday party and dd1 wouldn't play with the other kids in the big kid area she insisted she was too little and had to play in the toddler area while I stand and watch her. FFS! I couldn't even sit down and have a drink in peace and that is predominately what those play centres are for!

    I have no answers but I totally know how you feel.

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  10. #7
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    My 1yr old is constantly whining & I've been told it's because she's non-verbal, doesn't make it any less frustrating.

    Have you tried a reward system with the 3.5yr old to encourage her to play happily & quietly? Not sure if it would work, just throwing out suggestions.

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    My girls are the same, 4yo and 2.5yo, although the 4yo is really trying hard and is improving, so proud of her... There are certain foods that do set them off, but overall generally it is also just all of the time and it is exhausting!!! We have reduced preservatives, colours and additives, not strictly but I do take notice now... Actually, they are both pretty good when they are on their own! Two very amazing, strong, high spirited but lovely mannered girls... who cannot stand to have the other getting any more attention than them... drives me crazy, and to tears sometimes, but I love them, and that's why we keep going... we also have no help, and DD2 had reflux from birth to 18 months old... It was (and it still is at times), tough, it sucks and you do feel like you are the only one! Just in the last 2 weeks I have seen some positive progress with my two beauties and am just reinforcing that (although today has been hard)! My 2.5yo just had a 35 minute hysterical meltdown because I didn't allow her to feed the dog... this is what happens when she refuses her day nap!! I think this quote sums it up pretty well...

    ImageUploadedByThe Bub Hub1393830752.061140.jpg
    Last edited by babylove81; 03-03-2014 at 17:39.

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    Little Miss Muffet  (03-03-2014)

  13. #9
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    OP, I feel for you... I have been there. When had 2 under 2, it was just the toughest time of my whole life. My DS1 was 'extra' everything. I felt alone as I felt I couldn't take him many places as he had too much energy etc and I felt at the time that all my friends had these perfectly quiet, well behaved children. Fast forward 8 years and I feel sad I felt that way at the time... But it did take everything I had to get through the day in those days. Some PPs have mentioned diet, mine always had what I thought were good diets, but I found cutting out processed gluten and any store bought biscuits and so on changed our lives and DS1 benefitted from it so much. They now eat protein for breakfast (meat, fish, chicken, eggs with rice and salad or veg)- might sound unusual, but it was something a carer suggested and I tried it. I think daycare is a great idea to give you some breathing space, especially since you don't have support. Fake it til you make it. Also, I removed as much stimulation as I could- I found injecting energy into the situation just made it worse. I also deliberately turned down certain activities if I felt it wasn't going to work out, which was a positive move. Just try to stick with what you think you a can manage. It will get better, and I have found it all evened out as they got older. All the best x

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  15. #10
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    I only have a 21 month old (next due in July). She has always been this way too. Exhausting. Esp now that she only naps for max 1 hour (10- 20 min at daycare apparently). I need that extra hour of sanity! The screaming all the time is really hard. I don't see other kids behaving this way either when I am out or go to activities. Just saying I know how you feel and subbing!
    I have looked into this 'spirited child' thing but I didn't really want to read about it because I didn't feel right about putting a label on her. But I guess that is what they could be?

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