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  1. #1
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    Default Birthday parties

    hi all. Im just curious as to how many of your ex's take their kids to friends birthday parties? I feel so sorry for my little man, every party he has been invited to by his day care friends he has always been at his dads and he just refuses to take him. So he has always missed out It greatly upsets my ds because his brother has been to some but he always misses out. Is it normal for the ex never to take them? Or is mine an extra special a hole?

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    It has happened to my kids a couple of times too, when it falls on their dads week. Maybe if you know they have the party, is there anyway of offering to DS and/or the dad, so that it doesn't inconvenience him , cos you know how important it is to your DS, that you could offer to pick him up at his dads, and take him and bring him back ? So that he is not missing out on the party. I know it is a pain, but still it could be something you could offer ?

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    He says he already has something planned. said that last time too and the kids said they played video games at home. Doesn't matter what i offer he will always say no

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    Yeah mine's a bit difficult with this too. Very occasionally if I push, he will take them, but it's always such a huge inconvenience , so I'm told anyway.

    So usually I will say I will take them, or, as he changes his days, I will let him know if there's a party that day and he often avoids that day.

    I insist that these parties are important for their social wellbeing, so they usually get to the parties some way or another.

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    You're very lucky CMF I wish I could persuade him

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    I must be lucky in this regard as I don't offer it as an option it's more like " DD has a bday party so YOU'LL have to go shopping with her to get her friend a present".

    Such a shame your DS has to miss out because of ur Ex bring selfish or perhaps self conscious ?

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    AngelicHobgoblin  (25-02-2014)

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    Yeah I had tried that approach once MeeG but he threatened to cancel his weekend completely instead of going to the hassle of taking him so I had to make a choice of letting one kid miss out on seeing a friend or both kids missing out on seeing their dad *sigh*

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    Quote Originally Posted by MeeG View Post
    I must be lucky in this regard as I don't offer it as an option it's more like " DD has a bday party so YOU'LL have to go shopping with her to get her friend a present".

    Such a shame your DS has to miss out because of ur Ex bring selfish or perhaps self conscious ?
    Wow he buys the present? I ALWAYS have to buy the present.

    Oh and as for being selfish AND self concsious, yes that is the case with mine; selfish and lazy re driving there, but he has also said to me that he feels very intimidated by being around people I'm friends wit, as he thinks they all think hhe's a horrible person, which, well you know... if the shoe fits! Lol. But this nervousness has lessened over time though.
    Last edited by CMF; 26-02-2014 at 04:38.

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    Double post
    Last edited by CMF; 26-02-2014 at 04:35.

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    Quote Originally Posted by CMF View Post
    Wow he buys the present? I ALWAYS have to buy the present.

    Oh and as for being selfish AND self concsious, yes that is the case with mine; selfish and lazy re driving there, but he has also said to me that he feels very intimidated by being around people I'm friends wit, as he thinks they all think hhe's a horrible person, which, well you know... if the shoe fits! Lol. But this nervousness has lessened over time though.
    Yes, started making him when he says things like " I pay for her when she's here so blah blah blah".

    I think it plays on his guilt and maybe that she's a girl and a bit of diva that she has him wrapped around his finger.

    I know though he finds in hard to socially interact with real live grown ups! He'll just sit in a corner and play on his phone but atleast he takes her.


 

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