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  1. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by JungleMum View Post
    Genuine question, but do those that are anti CC or CIO never let their baby cry? I read so many anti cry comments that it makes me feel guilty when my baby does cry as I get the impression that it's completely wrong. So those 10mins when your unpacking groceries from the car or 20mins when your driving home from somewhere & baby is crying, is that considered wrong/harmful?

    Edit: Baby also cries whilst trying to get her to sleep (cuddled/rocked). And no, I can't distinguish the cries yet but eliminate all possible issues - hungry, wet, gas etc.
    I will let my daughter cry for about 1 minute in her cot and if she's crying after that, I get her back up. She puts herself to sleep when she's ready so if she's crying, I know she's not ready to be in bed yet.

    She used to cry in the car when she was younger (0-3 months), on longer trips I pulled over and gave her a cuddle and feed if she needed it but on shorter trips (5-10 minutes) I had to let her cry because she was only crying because she hated the car so the sooner we got home, the sooner I could remove her from that situation. With groceries, if she was upset, I would either put her in the ergo or just hold her to bring the cold things in and put them away, then leave the other things until she was more settled. Still occasionally she'll be tired when we get home from doing groceries so I'll try to entertain her with TV for 5 minutes while I put the cold stuff away but if that doesn't work, I hold her and do it one handed. I don't want her to grow up thinking that putting groceries away was more important than how she was feeling.

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    Dh's side of the family all pressured us to so CIO, apparently it only takes a few nights of them crying for an hour or so for them to learn.

    I feel for mothers theses days. So many people, media sources telling them what to do. DH thought his family were right, they were all saying the same thing, and they all had done it to their own.

    I do think some people feel justified in their decisions if others then follow their advice.

    If everyone was telling her to do it, why would she think there were other effective ways?




    I'm a mother of twins whose DH did FIFO. My babies cried, there was 2 of them and one of me. I needed to eat/shower/finish expressing/attend to the other etc.

    I just need to regularly review priorities.
    Last edited by speckled; 25-02-2014 at 09:32.

  3. #33
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    I'm a mother of twins whose DH did FIFO. My babies cried, there was 2 of them and one of me. I needed to eat/shower/finish expressing/attend to the other etc.

    I just need to regularly review priorities.

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  5. #34
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    I'm distressed just reading the OP! How can you congratulate someone whose baby is now crying while asleep. How they not see how unhealthy that is?? I hate to cry myself to sleep and a cuddle always makes things better. It's disgusting how this is seen as a positive thing :-( that poor baby

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    Quote Originally Posted by JungleMum View Post
    Genuine question, but do those that are anti CC or CIO never let their baby cry? I read so many anti cry comments that it makes me feel guilty when my baby does cry as I get the impression that it's completely wrong. So those 10mins when your unpacking groceries from the car or 20mins when your driving home from somewhere & baby is crying, is that considered wrong/harmful?

    Edit: Baby also cries whilst trying to get her to sleep (cuddled/rocked). And no, I can't distinguish the cries yet but eliminate all possible issues - hungry, wet, gas etc.
    So I let my DD grumble and do her 'angry' cry (there is a very definite difference in her distress and angry cries lol). As soon as she is distressed I will cuddle her. If she is angry crying I give her a few mins then I go and sit with her so she knows I'm there until she is quiet and I go again. Basically repeat till she sleeps. If she is distressed or upset for any reason she can sleep in my arms. I won't have her going to sleep upset. In the car she used to scream (before we got a lights and music mirror for her). If hubby is driving I sit in the back and hold her hand so she isn't alone and upset otherwise I pull over if its a long journey to give her a cuddle. If we are out and she is crying I will carry her while hubby has the pram otherwise I will sit down somewhere so she can have a quick cuddle and reassurance from me. My main thing is not leaving her to cry while I'm just sat down etc or doing something that could be done later. If I'm unpacking groceries or things like that then I can carry her or she can watch me from her swing. So at least she knows I'm there. I have my showers in the evening so hubby can take her or while she's sleeping.
    My DD will sometimes be overtired so will cry while being cuddled etc at sleep time and that's fine cause she is in my arms and knows I'm there for her. She is 5 months and I can distinguish distress from cross quite easily now lol her cross is a growling type cry with face screwed up that she does for a few secs then stops to look at the door to check if I'm coming then starts again lol (no tears or anything). If I do go in at that point she does an adorable little grin as if to say 'I've got you well trained haven't I' it's very cute but very frustrating when I know she's tired!!

  7. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by RipperRita View Post
    I never did cc (I was happy to feed or cuddle to sleep as I was lucky both mine were great sleepers) but I read about it and spent time in Ellen Baron sleep school (I was there for feeding issues not sleep issues) and watched the midwives teach what is essentially cc. Most of the mothers I saw in there were at their wits ends and so sleep deprived they looked like zombies and could barely function. Over the week I was there I observed what the midwives did. While the babies did cry, none of them were crying hysterically. The midwives were teaching the mothers how to tell the difference between what they referred to as protest cries with distressed cries. The mothers and midwives stood outside the door and went in and comforted whenever the babies became distressed. It actually didn't appear to be that bad and at the end of the week some of the zombie mothers were beginning to look half alive again. While I probably don't class myself as pro cc I certainly met some mothers that needed to take some pretty drastic actions or they were going to fall apart. And I don't believe any of their babies were any more distressed than my children when they are hungry, tired or wet and want to let me know they're not happy. Depending on your situation sometimes its a necessary evil. I would never judge.

    what you described doesn't sound like anything I saw in Ellen Barron... poor baby
    This is ok. Like you said it's a difference between hysterical and protest.
    I don't cc as it doesn't work for ds2 as he will just get hysterical and I can't stand it.
    Sometimes I let him cry for a little bit only because I know he's just protesting but it never gets to a hysterical stage and 9/10 I got into him anyway.

    The baby that pp mentioned sounds hysterical, crying for 60 minutes and then still sobbing after he's asleep - its awful.


    DH, Me and our two boys.
    #3 due 30th Sept

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    Quote Originally Posted by Tamtam View Post
    60 minutes. Wow.
    There's such a huge difference between some whinging and protest. .. and crying. Especially 60 minutes.

    Poor little baby. I've been through major sleep deprivation with my dd... and still there's no way I would ley her cry without comfort for longer than 5 or maybe 10 minutes. I would resettle/calm... and leave etc.

    I have a friend who let's their babies cry. There was a whole bunch of us over at Christmas and baby would have been about 8 weeks old. She put him down for a nap and he screamed hysterically for about 30 minutes. Everybody was looking uncomfortable. . and she just said. .. don't worry I'm a midwife!
    I just kept thinking what difference does that make? And if you do CC or CIO surely hysterical crying is not okay. And what if he had done a spew or poo and was upset about that???
    She's very proud of her kids falling asleep and says at night she sleeps so heavy that even if they cried she wouldn't know so technically they sleep through.
    I don't think there's anything wrong with CIO CC but it's not for me. And long hysterical crying is also not for me.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app
    What the actual f***??? 8 weeks!!!!!!!!!
    That's bloody terrible.

    I hate it when I see people posting " my 8/12/14/17/20/whatever week old won't sleep through the night, what can I do?
    Um here's a thought, cuddle him, feed him, burp him, change him, feed him, feed him, feed him!




    DH, Me and our two boys.
    #3 due 30th Sept

  10. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by JungleMum View Post
    Genuine question, but do those that are anti CC or CIO never let their baby cry? I read so many anti cry comments that it makes me feel guilty when my baby does cry as I get the impression that it's completely wrong. So those 10mins when your unpacking groceries from the car or 20mins when your driving home from somewhere & baby is crying, is that considered wrong/harmful?

    Edit: Baby also cries whilst trying to get her to sleep (cuddled/rocked). And no, I can't distinguish the cries yet but eliminate all possible issues - hungry, wet, gas etc.
    I have 6 kids spread over 20 years. I never let my babies cry if I can avoid it. Obviously there are times that can't be helped Eg driving but even than I sing, Talk, try to sooth as much as i can.
    That's just my style of parenting.

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    Quote Originally Posted by amyd View Post
    I did controlled crying with my second but what that lady did sounds wrong even to me. The fact that he is still crying in his sleep is the bit that upsets me the most.
    I agree. What this woman is doing is taking it way too far.
    I followed a sleep program starting at 9 months, I would let my baby whinge or cry for 10 mins only then go in to him and attend to his needs in his cot without picking him up, not leave him cry an hour. I would think if a baby is crying continuously like that there is something wrong such as they are hungry or need a nappy change. To leave a baby cry like that is wrong and I don't believe in starting a sleep guide or cc before 6 mths. As a result of following the sleep program it wasn't long before I had a great sleeper, baby learnt to self settle without waking out of habit expecting me to comfort him and seeing this as the only way he could get back to sleep as was the case previously. Soon enough he wasn't waking at all. Baby sleeping well meant he was happier and I was a happier better mummy because I got my sleep. And because he got into good sleep habits early he is an amazing sleeper now as a toddler.
    Last edited by Blessedwith3boys; 25-02-2014 at 10:06.


 

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