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  1. #21
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    Thats a very long time for a baby to cry...I dont know how anyone could leave their bub for that long...

    I will admit, although I dont do cc I have left my DS3 to cry in his room before. Ive been trying to settle him with cuddles, laying with him etc and he just wouldnt go to sleep. I was at the end of my tether and getting cranky at him which didnt help either of us. I walked out for 5 minutes, sat on the couch and calmed myself down then went back in and cuddled him in a much less stressed state... And I felt absolutely terrible after he was asleep.

  2. #22
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    Genuine question, but do those that are anti CC or CIO never let their baby cry? I read so many anti cry comments that it makes me feel guilty when my baby does cry as I get the impression that it's completely wrong. So those 10mins when your unpacking groceries from the car or 20mins when your driving home from somewhere & baby is crying, is that considered wrong/harmful?

    Edit: Baby also cries whilst trying to get her to sleep (cuddled/rocked). And no, I can't distinguish the cries yet but eliminate all possible issues - hungry, wet, gas etc.
    Last edited by JungleMum; 25-02-2014 at 07:40.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by JungleMum View Post
    Genuine question, but do those that are anti CC or CIO never let their baby cry? I read so many anti cry comments that it makes me feel guilty when my baby does cry as I get the impression that it's completely wrong. So those 10mins when your unpacking groceries from the car or 20mins when your driving home from somewhere & baby is crying, is that considered wrong/harmful?
    I let my baby cry. But not for prolonged periods without some comfort.
    Eg... If she's crying at night I might leave her for about 5 minutes to see if she's stops. If not I would try to settle her. Once she's calm leave. She might cry again etc. Sometimes she's crying while I'm trying to calm her!!
    She's cried in the car or while I had to get her food or bottle etc. It's the prolonged crying I personally can't do.

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  5. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by JungleMum View Post
    Genuine question, but do those that are anti CC or CIO never let their baby cry? I read so many anti cry comments that it makes me feel guilty when my baby does cry as I get the impression that it's completely wrong. So those 10mins when your unpacking groceries from the car or 20mins when your driving home from somewhere & baby is crying, is that considered wrong/harmful?

    Edit: Baby also cries whilst trying to get her to sleep! And no, I can't distinguish the cries yet but eliminate all possible issues - hungry, wet, gas etc.
    I don't practise cc but have no judgment towards those that do. Like I said, I've seen it in practise at the Ellen Barron clinic and none of those babies were distressed in the slightest (only the mothers lol). Id never get anything done if I didn't let my babies cry occasionally, unpacking groceries, cooking dinner etc. Even though I class myself as non cc I have had to let one cry while I attend to the other many times which is absolutley awful and used to rack me with guilt. Trust me when I say you would know a distressed cry over other cries, if you haven't heard it yet then you're doing an awesome job and meeting all your babies needs

  6. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by JungleMum View Post
    Genuine question, but do those that are anti CC or CIO never let their baby cry? I read so many anti cry comments that it makes me feel guilty when my baby does cry as I get the impression that it's completely wrong. So those 10mins when your unpacking groceries from the car or 20mins when your driving home from somewhere & baby is crying, is that considered wrong/harmful?
    I don't agree with CC or CIO (for my babies, I know CC can work well for some), but my babies do cry. With DS1 there were times when I would have to put him in his cot screaming and walk away for a minute to compose myself. He would also cry in my arms sometimes when I was trying to get him to sleep, he just never cried alone (I think there is a difference between being left to cry alone and crying being comforted in mums arms).

    DS2 hates the car, so yes, he will cry in the car and there is little I can do about it. When he was very young I would limit car trips, because he would get distressed very quickly and he was so tiny that I felt it could be harmful for him. Now he is older he's gotten much better in the car. Also having 2, it can be hard to meet everyone's needs at once - so yes, there are times when DS2 has woken and will be crying for a few minutes while I'm dealing with DS1.

    I try to implement 'no cry' sleep solutions, but it doesn't mean my babies never cry, I just can't leave them to cry alone to go to sleep or leave them cry for prolonged periods when it's avoidable. I particularly try to avoid them crying when they are very little (like under 4 months). I respond as quickly as possible because when they are little mine have no distinguishable cries - all cries are 'I need something NOWWWWWW!'. Once they get a bit older there are more whingy cries/ tired cries/ upset or hurt cries.
    Last edited by decemberbubba; 25-02-2014 at 07:56.

  7. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by JungleMum View Post
    Genuine question, but do those that are anti CC or CIO never let their baby cry? I read so many anti cry comments that it makes me feel guilty when my baby does cry as I get the impression that it's completely wrong. So those 10mins when your unpacking groceries from the car or 20mins when your driving home from somewhere & baby is crying, is that considered wrong/harmful?

    Edit: Baby also cries whilst trying to get her to sleep (cuddled/rocked). And no, I can't distinguish the cries yet but eliminate all possible issues - hungry, wet, gas etc.
    Depends what the crying is for and the age of the baby. When thy are little (like under one) I will try almost everything to stop them crying as I think they are trying to communicate not having a tanty. DS3 however would cry everytime we were in the car. I would try to limit trips etc but I couldnt just not go anywhere for the first year. I had many a trip where I had to stop midway to give a feed to calm him, but he did cry at times in the car and I couldnt do anything about it.

    Over one, and closer now he is two I do let him have his tantrums sometimes. He wants to be cuddled constantly, I will stop what i am doing and give him a cuddle but if he keeps going after a cuddle I tell him mummy is busy, I'll just get this done and we can have a cuddle on the couch. Sometimes he stops but sometimes he keeps going and I cant stop getting ready for work, or getting the bigger boys ready for school so he just has to have his cry.

    ETA: I do think leaving a baby alone in a room to cry to sleep is a lot different to a baby crying who you are comfortin, talking to and understanding their crying. I think age is a big factor too. I wouldnt leave my 4 or 5 year old to cry on their own in their room either.

  8. #27
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    I was forced to cio with my first.
    (Young and living with mil. Not with partner.)
    He it's now the hardest to get to sleep. He is so clingy during the day and he is 6.
    Now I'm more independent and can stand up for myself Ds2 it's never left to cry for longer than it takes me to get to him. So even if I just got in the bath, (last night) out I get.
    But I just can't do it.



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  10. #28
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    I tried CIO with DD once. I agreed with DH that I would leave her for 5 mins and see how it went. I lasted 3 mins. 60 mins and sobbing in their sleep? OMG. That is freaking heartbreaking, that poor bub.

    When my babies were older and generally sleeping through, from about 6 months onward, I would leave them for about 5 mins if they woke in the night to see if they would self settle. Most of the time it was because their dummy had popped out and both would be asleep within 2 mins. Never longer though! And never hysterical!

    I have no drama with people leaving their kids to self settle at all. I agree though OP, I would have an issue with leaving a child for that long, and I certainly have an issue with other people encouraging and supporting such extreme behaviour.

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  12. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by JungleMum View Post
    Genuine question, but do those that are anti CC or CIO never let their baby cry? I read so many anti cry comments that it makes me feel guilty when my baby does cry as I get the impression that it's completely wrong. So those 10mins when your unpacking groceries from the car or 20mins when your driving home from somewhere & baby is crying, is that considered wrong/harmful?.

    Both my girls have never cried unattended. Yes they have cried themselves to sleep in my arms, rocking, patting and shushing. But never ever by themselves.


    wifey of hubby who is always away. mother of two girls who are always amusing.

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  14. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by JungleMum View Post
    Genuine question, but do those that are anti CC or CIO never let their baby cry? I read so many anti cry comments that it makes me feel guilty when my baby does cry as I get the impression that it's completely wrong. So those 10mins when your unpacking groceries from the car or 20mins when your driving home from somewhere & baby is crying, is that considered wrong/harmful?

    Edit: Baby also cries whilst trying to get her to sleep (cuddled/rocked). And no, I can't distinguish the cries yet but eliminate all possible issues - hungry, wet, gas etc.
    For me I don't let my baby cry if I'm near her. She's cried a couple of times in the car when I've been on the fwy and couldn't stop and all it did was make me cry. When I pulled up home and got her out of her seat she gripped onto me for dear life and it was just horrible.

    But i just put things off if she's unsettled, like showering, lunch etc or if it's something that is easily done when wearing her, I pop her in the ergo. But if don't leave her to cry, as soon as she starts I pick her up and she stops pretty much instantly every time.

    ETA - bubs crying in your arms is different. They know you're there and are doing everything you can to comfort them.
    Last edited by Anjalee; 25-02-2014 at 08:57.


 

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