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  1. #1
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    Default Reading about leaving baby to CIO - I'm so distressed!

    I started writing this in the "I am" thread however thought I may cause offense so brought it over here.

    Absolutely horrified reading a post and the subsequent comments on Facebook. The original post was a mum asking how long CIO takes to work as she's let her son cry for the last 60 minutes. All these other mums are responding with "good on you for persevering", "show him who's in charge", "he's just pulling at your heart strings" then the OP commented and said "it worked, he's finally asleep, sobbing in his sleep, but asleep!" And the other women are congratulating her for not cuddling him. I knew I wasn't comfortable doing CC or CIO with my own child but I can't believe how sick reading that has made me feel. I want to rock and cuddle and sing to that little boy for hours if that's what he needs to go to sleep. I try so hard not to judge other mums because I don't know what they're going through or how their baby sleeps but surely their mum instincts are SCREAMING at them to pick that baby up and give him the love he needs!

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  3. #2
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    I agree, it really upsets me to hear any baby crying like that. Poor little thing. :-( I just can't do it, all those stress hormones being created through crying, and the sobbing in sleep shows how.distressed the baby got. Just want to give this bub a cuddle!

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    W.T.F.

    It's stuff like this that gives any sort of sleep training a bad name.

    There's a big difference between protesting and getting hysterical. That's just awful; 60 minutes is a very long time for a baby to cry. I have literally never heard of anyone leaving their child to cry for that long.

    Even CIO has time limits, doesn't it?

    I am legitimately angered that someone would purposefully put their bub through something like that - and that others would applaud them for it!
    Last edited by snowqu33n; 24-02-2014 at 21:23. Reason: Added raving?

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    I did controlled crying with my second but what that lady did sounds wrong even to me. The fact that he is still crying in his sleep is the bit that upsets me the most.

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    That's heartbreaking I did a version of cc with my little man but I completely adapted it to suit us. I couldn't follow any book anyone had written.

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    I will admit I am stressed from reading just the op.

    Baby sleep is such a hard thing... I fin it impossible to judge another for their choices because I know just how tired these parents are.

    I just wish... WISH! There was more support out there, that we didn't have to make sleep deprived mums feel like having their baby hysterical is the only way they have left.

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    I never did cc (I was happy to feed or cuddle to sleep as I was lucky both mine were great sleepers) but I read about it and spent time in Ellen Baron sleep school (I was there for feeding issues not sleep issues) and watched the midwives teach what is essentially cc. Most of the mothers I saw in there were at their wits ends and so sleep deprived they looked like zombies and could barely function. Over the week I was there I observed what the midwives did. While the babies did cry, none of them were crying hysterically. The midwives were teaching the mothers how to tell the difference between what they referred to as protest cries with distressed cries. The mothers and midwives stood outside the door and went in and comforted whenever the babies became distressed. It actually didn't appear to be that bad and at the end of the week some of the zombie mothers were beginning to look half alive again. While I probably don't class myself as pro cc I certainly met some mothers that needed to take some pretty drastic actions or they were going to fall apart. And I don't believe any of their babies were any more distressed than my children when they are hungry, tired or wet and want to let me know they're not happy. Depending on your situation sometimes its a necessary evil. I would never judge.

    what you described doesn't sound like anything I saw in Ellen Barron... poor baby
    Last edited by RipperRita; 24-02-2014 at 21:56.

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  14. #8
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    @RipperRita I did Ellen Barron and completely agree with the way you described it. It was fantastic!

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    I dont like CIO, but lately my boy has started teething and won't self settle every now and then for his day nap. I let him go 10 minutes, go in, give him cuddles so he knows I'm there then put him back and try again. Most of the time IF he cries it's for a minute or two then off to sleep. Long term CIO will cause trust issues in your baby because you are their world.. they rely on us and need us to be there for them.

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    I feel very ignorant, but what does CIO stand for? I have seen it many times on here, and wondered...

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