+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    460
    Thanks
    61
    Thanked
    49
    Reviews
    0

    Default How to deal with dh's ex??

    Doesn't matter now, thanks
    Last edited by MummbearPapabearNCubs; 25-02-2014 at 12:20.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    1,226
    Thanks
    427
    Thanked
    545
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I would go to the police. I had an ex harass me a while ago, abusive messages, phone calls etc. They called and had a word with him and told him to back off. Haven't heard from him since.

  3. The Following User Says Thank You to Funnels For This Useful Post:

    MummbearPapabearNCubs  (21-02-2014)

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    460
    Thanks
    61
    Thanked
    49
    Reviews
    0
    I would go to the cops myself, but I think dh needs to come along and talk too, since it's his ex not mine.

  5. #4
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    58
    Thanks
    41
    Thanked
    34
    Reviews
    0
    From past experience the cops prob wont do much as she hasnt made threats etc. So they prob wont take it too seriously, but it is a good idea to report it so its on record if she does anything else. They might go have a word to her though with a bit of luck. You could also try going thru the courts for a Misconduct Restraining Order, whether they would grant it or not I dont know as from what you've said here the extent of the harassment may not be enough for them to put an order in place. Maybe he could try talking to her and tell her to back of that he's moved on etc. She may respond well to having a conversation about the situation (that is if she is capable of having an adult converaation). I personally would just ignore her, a lot of the time people like that will disappear once they realise the carry on is getting them nowhere. Sounds like a nutter though, especially coming back after all this time :/

    Good luck hope you get it sorted and she leaves you alone

  6. The Following User Says Thank You to christie24 For This Useful Post:

    MummbearPapabearNCubs  (21-02-2014)

  7. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2013
    Posts
    460
    Thanks
    61
    Thanked
    49
    Reviews
    0
    Also I forgot to mention... After they broke up she started seeing a guy who had just gotten out of jail, actually dh reckons they were writing to each other or something before he got out..anyway about a year before we met he said that one time he was at the shops and her and her (then) boyfriend (the one who was apparently in jail) followed him to his car and she took his keys out of the ignition and stole money from him for her boyfriend.

  8. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    1,869
    Thanks
    879
    Thanked
    1,201
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I would be going to the police to report things that have occurred up until this point. You need to have everything documented as there may come a time when the police will have had enough of her behaviour and take out an AVO. Ignoring some people works but if she has taken a photo of herself outside your house, verbally abused him in public, tailgated etc, she is probably not going to stop until she either gets a new bf that consumes her time or an AVO is in place. If this was an ex bf of yours would it be any different?

  9. #7
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    2,720
    Thanks
    1,518
    Thanked
    1,950
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Yup, I'd go to the police (well, have DH go to the police).

    As others have said, they may not be able to do much at the moment... but having everything on record could definitely work to your advantage. If she were to escalate her behaviour - especially with regard to your home or kids - you'd want to be able to have action taken as quickly as possible.

    Other than that I'd ignore it... not engage her.

    Good luck, what a horrible situation to be in.

  10. #8
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    Tas
    Posts
    249
    Thanks
    58
    Thanked
    177
    Reviews
    0
    I'm with the PPs, I think you need to look into an AVO.

    This has obviously been going on for years, but that recent experience of abuse followed by tailgating is a worry. Obviously you didn't have the kids in the car, but imagine if you had, and how scared you would feel.
    The fact that she did that despite you and your DH being together for years makes me think she is not going away.

    First thing Monday morning I'd be calling Legal Aids advice line. Run it past them, and they might be able to give you some options. Do you feel she could be a threat to you or your children? If you are not sure, imagine a scenario such as running into her at a shopping centre when you have your kids, but your DH is not there. Do you think she would react? If so, tell them you believe she is a threat to you and your family.
    Do you still have that message and photo, showing her outside your house? If you do, print it out.

    Check with Legal Aid (or the Womens legal advice line), and hopefully they may be able to tell you exactly what to say to the police, even if it's just to give her a scare by dropping by and having a word to her. If your DH isn't sure about whether he should take things further, that's ok. If YOU feel threatened, you have every right to take action yourself.

    Goodluck, I know what it's like dealing with a psycho ex

  11. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Posts
    1,221
    Thanks
    1,169
    Thanked
    668
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    Geeze what a psycho! Sorry to hear you and your DH are having to deal with this. I have a intervention order out on our psycho neighbor for coming over and threatening me all the time. Just keep in mind people can also retaliate and go and take out out on you based on complete lies. Which doesn't really matter as its not recorded as a crim record to have a intervention order out on you as well, but from my personal experience they certainly can retaliate and get one out on you, which can be a big shock initially - so just be prepared for that.

    Take recordings of her harassing you (tail gating etc) and if she's ever at your house or you guys are confronted by her, record her but flash the camera from side to side to show there is no one else there so her aggression is towards you. Thats a tip i was told by the police after i ha d taken some footage but was told they can't prove it was directly at me as such because my camera was pointed on the neighbor the whole time iykwim. Id hate for you to get caught out like that too and they get away with it.

    Keep records and statements of instances.

    The interim intervention order riled my neighbor up even more at first and she lashed out and tried everything she can to provoke me, but once we all went to court and DH and i requested to have an order on everyone or we will contest hers, she has left us well alone now. So it has worked, eventually - and for now. But be prepared as it can rile them up at first so have your camera ready at ALL times.

    Man, you don't need this ****. She sounds like a down right nut bar. Like my neighbor.
    Last edited by Serenity Love; 23-02-2014 at 08:50.

  12. #10
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Melbourne
    Posts
    14,750
    Thanks
    2,078
    Thanked
    3,540
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Congrats on the marriage - I haven't been on much and must have missed that?

    Firstly can we not refer to someone as "psycho" unless we know that have an actual Dx of MI? It makes an awful and suspicious judgement of anyone with a real Dx of an MI.

    You've had some pretty good advice by PP's and I'd concentrate on your family and keep safe.

  13. The Following User Says Thank You to WorkingClassMum For This Useful Post:

    TimeForWine  (24-02-2014)


 

Similar Threads

  1. a text msg on dh's phone....
    By Beefie in forum General Chat
    Replies: 87
    Last Post: 07-01-2014, 18:34
  2. So hurt by DH's comments
    By loislane2010 in forum General Chat
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 07-11-2013, 16:09
  3. Replies: 13
    Last Post: 20-05-2013, 18:22

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Riverton Leisureplex
An Extreme Family Pass at Riverton Leisureplex is the ultimate way to cool off during the summer school holidays. The $30 Pass allows pool and waterslide access for 2 adults and 2 children, as well as a drink, popcorn and an icy pole for each person.
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
Sudocrem / Infacol
Sudocrem® Healing Cream is a soothing emollient cream which aids and assists in the management of nappy rash, eczema, abrasions, wounds and minor skin irritations. Infacol Wind Drops are an effective method of treating wind in infants.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!