+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 11 to 20 of 20
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    3,220
    Thanks
    1,254
    Thanked
    1,085
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    "Give them an inch and they'll take it a mile".....my kids walked all over my mother when she was in our life and the above phrase says it all. They aren't naughty, they just know they can push and push and they will get it. I got mad at my mother for this, I'm all for being firm but fair.

  2. #12
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    One would think a toddler, paint brush, paint and patio would require close supervision. Perhaps your child does need boundaries but to be honest there should never have been an opportunity for your kid to paint the patio. Whoever was out there (Nanna?) is partly to blame for lack of supervision.

  3. The Following 9 Users Say Thank You to VicPark For This Useful Post:

    btmacxxx  (20-02-2014),Bubbles10  (20-02-2014),LaDiDah  (20-02-2014),Lincolns mummy  (20-02-2014),LoveLivesHere  (20-02-2014),Mod-Degrassi  (20-02-2014),Mod-Myztik  (23-02-2014),ozeymumof5  (20-02-2014),Purple Lily  (20-02-2014)

  4. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Posts
    4,589
    Thanks
    1,303
    Thanked
    2,569
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I don't like telling children they're naughty.

    But, I think you've answer your own question. Yep, it sounds like you give in to your child to avoid a tantrum, and he knows it and plays you because he knows all he has to do is stamp his get and pretend to cry to get what he wants.

    You should start being firmer now. He will still love you even if you tell him no. Children love boundaries and if you don't start doing something now, you will be in big trouble later.
    This!

  5. #14
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    Posts
    58
    Thanks
    41
    Thanked
    34
    Reviews
    0
    Raising a child isnt easy but a major part of raising a child is teaching them right from wrong and setting boundaries. If you give in because he throws a tantrum your showing him that thats how to get what he wants and he wont learn. And giving in isnt hard its the easy way to stop the tantrum, standing your ground is the hard part but thats part of parenting and that is what will teach him right from wrong. He will still love you when u dont give in but he will also learn to respect you.

    Maybe your mum was out of line, maybe she wasnt. But I know if my child had paint at someone elses house (whether they gave it to them or not) I would have been out there supervising and stop them myself rather then just letting him go for gold until someone else stepped in to discipline.

    If your gonna leave him to do what he wants when he is at somebody else's house dont be upset when they discipline him, but maybe speak to your mum about the way she goes about it

  6. #15
    Join Date
    May 2012
    Location
    Perth
    Posts
    204
    Thanks
    11
    Thanked
    101
    Reviews
    0
    I don't think your mum should have let him play with paint in the first instance. If she was happy for him to play with it, then I think she should of asked if you were ok with it first. And if she was, I would of said, no I am not happy for him to play with it, because he will just want more, and it will cause a tantrum in the end Mum. Then I would of followed up with - but if YOU are happy with him playing with it, then you can deal with him when you ask him to stop. Then the decision would of been left up to her to deal with him. Her house, so then in my mind, it then becomes her rules.

    And I think it is bit harsh she said that, she is supposed to be supporting you deal with your child, not talking down to you about him. If she could clearly see that you were having trouble, I think she should of stepped in and tried to also discipline him. Saying perhaps, well I think you should listen to mummy, you have had your fun, now it is time to pack up and finish off the painting so that we can have a cup of tea and a biscuit or something along those lines and then distracted him to move onto something else.

  7. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to 4LeafClover For This Useful Post:

    Bubbles10  (21-02-2014),VicPark  (20-02-2014)

  8. #16
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    sydney
    Posts
    285
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    60
    Reviews
    0
    I feel for you but start off small by laying down the boundaries or get a reward chart and your son can participate. I have a child similar age as yours and we had no end of trouble getting out of bed at night and wanting to party. So she understood that we get 20 cents the next day for staying in bed and the money goes into a money box. We are now enjoying the peaceful evenings and my child understands.
    Good luck

  9. #17
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    Posts
    21,654
    Thanks
    15,094
    Thanked
    11,262
    Reviews
    14
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the WeekBusiest Member of the Week - week ended 5/2/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 31/10/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 24/10/14Busiest Member of the Week
    Quote Originally Posted by bunnymum View Post


    Well.. Raising a kid is never easy.. There are many many times ds loves ignoring me and i have no choice but to let him do it because he knows his tantrums etc would get him whatever he wants, even his fave toy wouldnt win him over... And if i caved in, usually that would be a win-win situation for us ie. he would stop throwing tantrums (peacefulness for me) and he gets to do whatever he wants as long as its not a life threatening stuff... But in the end i always know that he has no disciplines!


    My mum always says i always appear too easy on him.. He knows that and he takes it for granted... She says this path leads to raising a disobedient child ....do you agree?
    .
    This going to sound really harsh.

    Seriously your not raising him your letting him raise himself.

    The idea that you have no choice is the biggest piece of crap I have ever heard.
    You always have a choice. You have the choice to be a parent or not.

    As for your win win. It is really a loss loss.

    His loss as it teaching him no rules apply him. This is dangerous for him.

    Your loss is having a child that will always be in trouble. Potentially getting hurt. Etc...

    You have to decide what you want for your child a life. To grow up and end up in jail or worse because no rules apply to him and he can do whatever he likes or a responsible adult who engages with the world in a positive way.

    There are gently ways to teach a child but they require a effort from you. Please Google some different teaching methods and find one that works for you both.

  10. The Following 7 Users Say Thank You to LoveLivesHere For This Useful Post:

    ChickyBee  (20-02-2014),christie24  (20-02-2014),Elijahs Mum  (20-02-2014),melimum  (20-02-2014),MrsBid  (20-02-2014),penny92  (21-02-2014),speckled  (20-02-2014)

  11. #18
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Posts
    1,089
    Thanks
    137
    Thanked
    429
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I personally don't have a problem with the word naughty, because let's face it kids can be naughty! DH calls me argumentative sometimes, and I tell him he's selfish. No different to calling our kids naughty when they are being exactly that. Although we use the term 'turds'.

    I am not going to be popular, but if my kid did what you DS did at my parents house, I would expect mum to raise her voice, put him in timeout and get very very cross. It's her house after all. I have no problem with my parents disciplining my children, gosh my grandparents used to discipline me and I respect them for it!

    Maybe you are so upset because your mum has hit a nerve? It can totally be easier to give in rather than face the tantrum, but you really don't want your 'adventurous and inquisitive' toddler to turn into a boy with no respect for rules, boundaries and property.

  12. The Following User Says Thank You to Mum2EandR For This Useful Post:

    christie24  (21-02-2014)

  13. #19
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    my house
    Posts
    17,710
    Thanks
    1,392
    Thanked
    7,295
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    I think you could say, "don't be argumentative" or "don't be selfish" but I still don't think people should say "don't be naughty." I think telling a child what they are doing is wrong and explaining it rather than just telling them they're naughty can help them understand what is expected of them. Even explaining that a behaviour is naughty, not them is better otherwise they're not going to know what they did wrong. We need to be very explicit with children.

  14. #20
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Geelong
    Posts
    1,138
    Thanks
    195
    Thanked
    214
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    I also use the word naughty but not directly to call my DS naughty, eg "drawing on the walls is no good. Only naughty boys do that... Aren't you a good boy?" To which he will say "I am a good boy mum" then I make him clean it off because that's what good boys do.

    I would also expect my mum to discipline my son if he was misbehaving in her care (although she knows how I discipline and reacts similarly).

    My son is 3 in April and I've always been firm with boundaries. Yes the easiest option would be to cave into his tantrum however it's setting yourself up for long term disaster. I probably spoil my DS because it's just us but he only gets the things he wants when he has been good and I ensure he knows that. At home he can be very loud but it's just him playing comfortably. At daycare he is polite and considerate of other kids (although still loud at times) but I've never had issues with him disobeying the staff or misbehaving. Now days his only tantrums are one related to being tired and frustrated.

    I hope you don't be too harsh on your mum or yourself but have a decent look at your choices as a parent. Best of luck.


 

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 91
    Last Post: 01-09-2013, 20:18
  2. Question on "Parental Leave Pay" and "Family Tax Benefit"
    By StellaG in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 19-06-2013, 07:41
  3. How to deal with a child that is possibly "faking" sickness?
    By SassyMummy in forum General Parenting Tips, Advice & Chat
    Replies: 11
    Last Post: 04-03-2013, 00:03

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
Springfree Trampoline
Give the Ultimate Christmas Gift Springfree Trampoline
The World's Safest Trampoline™ is now also the world's first Smart Trampoline™. Sensors on the mat detect your every move and your jumps control fun, educational and active games on tablet. Secure the Ultimate Christmas Gift today!
sales & new stuffsee all
Pea Pods
Buy 2 Award Winning Pea Pods Reusable One Size Nappies for only $38 (in your choice of colours) and receive a FREE roll of Bamboo Liners. Don't miss out, we don't usually have discounts on the nappies, so grab this special offer!
Special Offer! Save $12
featured supporter
Sudocrem / Infacol
Sudocrem® Healing Cream is a soothing emollient cream which aids and assists in the management of nappy rash, eczema, abrasions, wounds and minor skin irritations. Infacol Wind Drops are an effective method of treating wind in infants.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!