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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by JD Mumma View Post
    I'm sure your 15 year olds and most 15 year olds know hurting a baby is wrong. I am not saying it is excusable, I'm not saying that the baby is not the victim. I have read the article, I agree wholeheartedly with it. However, I have also worked with extremely disadvantaged youths. I have seen total destruction in children that should never have ever been allowed to happen. I have seen that destruction be carried on by those who should have been protected.
    To compare a well adjusted teen with one who has been neglected and abused is like comparing apples and jack hammers.

    We can judge all we want, it achieves nothing. Get out into your community and do something. Campaign for better mental health services. Foster a child so they don't spend their childhood living in a home thinking the world hates them. Donate time or money to youth programs. Volunteer at a homeless shelter or food van. Just do something. It may change your view on how 'judging a monster' is so pointless when said monster is a child.
    *Apologies for the length, but please can no one quote me as this contains sensitive information about my DH and I may delete*

    No, I wasn't there and no, noone can prove absolutely that it wasn't an accident. But can you honestly say that a 15 yr old boy, no matter his background didn't know what he was doing? Absolutely they are still a child, and often lack the ability to make a good judgement about a situation, but he had been around the baby and involved in its care for a month.

    The baby was still in hospital, most likely out of special care and rooming in with the parents in preparation for going home. But in NICU or Special Care, they don't care if you are 15 with your first child, or like me, 37 with my fourth. You get the same support and the same education, and believe me there is a hell of a lot relating on how to hold or comfort your child, and on what to do/not to do. And there is no way you don't take ANY of it in.

    Like I said, had this had happened at home with a baby that had not been in hospital for a month, I can see how a severely damaged 15 yr old could easily snapped. It's absolutely tragic, and it happens.

    Do I know of both mums and dads in this sort of situation? Yep, a number of them. My family did fostering. I've been in a womens shelter for several months, and got to know a number of the at risk teenage mums and their boyfriends/ex-boyfriends. My dad worked at a mens homeless shelter, then at the male young offenders home here for 10 years. My husband spent a year in prison for gambling debts which I rarely speak about, and very quickly learnt how easily it is to mis-judge people.

    So funnily enough, we don't judge. Because we both personally know rock bottom. My DHs closest friend in prison (and a truly lovely man) is there for murder. I know his story, and I know the extreme abuse he suffered from his adopted parents.
    And we are the lucky ones. We know a number of people who have been through things that most people couldn't imagine. My DH carries with him some truly horrific things he has heard and seen, and both of us have seen what an abusive childhood can do to someone.

    I also have a nearly 15 yr old. So seeing this boy is that age does not make me think he did not know what he was doing, when he waited until he was alone with the baby. I'm ok being judged on that. And you know what? I hope I'm wrong, I really do. Because the alternative is just incomprehensible.

    Also, I don't think anyone actually said he was a 'monster'? If he did do it with thought, then he desperately needs help. But monsters are those that my DH saw day in day out who were true sociopaths. Men often from good backgrounds, stable childhoods, who are often in positions with authority, who talk openly about things they have done that would destroy your faith in humanity.

    Campaign, volunteer or donate? Yep, I think it's something that everyone should do at least once. We did before we actually experienced what it is like to be homeless, and have nothing, and we still do, but more so directed at the services and needs that are not so visible, and are badly neglected. To those of you who wonder if even a small donation helps, it does, and I thank every one of you

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  3. #42
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    Thank you for your insight and honesty @mamaof4

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  5. #43
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    At 15yo, regardless of your upbringing etc you MUST know that beating a newborn baby is wrong and deadly. This boy knew enough to get another minor pregnant therefor knows the consequences of his actions. Generally speaking I'm very tolerant of troubled youth who have had poor lives and I would be empathetic for them but what this boy did is inexcusable.

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  7. #44
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    Im from bunbury and I have had 3 babies at that hospital. They don't have a special care unit/NICU if they were there with their baby then they were mostly on their own. Really nurses only come in every hour at the least so there's a lot of time where the parents would be alone with the child.

    I dont have any sympathy for him. regardless of age you know its not ok to bash a baby. No matter whats happened in your childhood. He planned this and Im sickened

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  9. #45
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    It's terrible. Having had a bit of experience with scenarios like this, there is too much emphasis placed on the rights of the parents. The child's rights should surpass those of the adults.

    The department is happy to send children into horrible environments.

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  11. #46
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    bunkx is offline Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections
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    Reading this story makes me feel physically sick :-(
    Last edited by bunkx; 19-02-2014 at 19:43.

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  13. #47
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    bunkx is offline Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect. It means that you've decided to look beyond the imperfections
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    Quote Originally Posted by KaraB View Post
    I know I'll get flamed for this but I just feel pure anger at that f*cking kid who did this! I don't CARE if he was 'troubled' I don't care if he was 15. Lock him up!! Seriously wtf?? :/ That poor little baby. There's just no reason in the f*cking world that makes it excusable or understandable. If he can do that to a tiny helpless baby - his own child no less, he shouldn't be allowed to walk the streets. Grr.
    Yep sums it up for me !!!

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  15. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsBid View Post
    Im from bunbury and I have had 3 babies at that hospital. They don't have a special care unit/NICU if they were there with their baby then they were mostly on their own. Really nurses only come in every hour at the least so there's a lot of time where the parents would be alone with the child.

    I dont have any sympathy for him. regardless of age you know its not ok to bash a baby. No matter whats happened in your childhood. He planned this and Im sickened
    Interesting MrsBid, do you know how High Need babies are looked after? Do they have individual rooms, or are more like a ward? I'm assuming they would send NICU/SC babies elsewhere perhaps, as I remember several patient transport ambulances with humdicribs come in to NICU.

  16. #49
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    I think outrage in this case (and other recent ones) would be well directed towards your local members of parliament, discussing issues like: why is "protection from harm" the most important thing in a child's best interests, yet known perpetrators of abuse are allowed time with their children? Why is it so hard to remove a parents "rights" once they have done the wrong thing? Why can't our child protection systems identify children at risk earlier in life, then provide them with extra education around emotional regulation and self calming in order to try to prevent later abuse of the next generation? In fact why is our child protection system so under funded and under staffed full stop? Lobby your MPs to try to create change.
    Personally I too feel sorry for the father, given that he is clearly not a well boy, and is a victim in so many ways. He has given himself a life sentence, ruining any chance at a happy life, that's for sure. My sorrow for the baby and mum is 1000 times greater of course, and I think there are enough shades of grey here to allow sorrow for all of them.

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