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  1. #1
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    Default When is it ok to comment on parenting?

    As the title suggests, when is it ok to comment on someone and how they're parenting?

    I have a relative who has a 5mo. She's an advanced baby, she's hit all of her milestones early and is a healthy little thing up until now. They have said that after a visit to their child health nurse that they're only giving her solids now... No milk. I really can't imagine any nurse suggesting this at 5mo, and I have the same nurse and she told me the standard, milk first then solids until 12 months.

    Do I say anything? When the grandmother told me I said "oh that's strange, she told me such and such" and she came back with "but she's far more advanced than your DD" so I think maybe I came across as a busybody which wasn't my intention at all! I'm just worried about her.

    Do I say anything or just butt out?

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    In regards to when it's okay to comment, I'd say when a child is in any form of danger.

    If I was in your situation I may say something in passing to mum like 'oh that's strange as I've always been told to continue milk until at least 12 months' but then just leave it at that.

    If she has the same reaction as grandma there's not really much you can do.

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    Is it possible they misinterpreted what the nurse said? If so, could you innocently ask how the bub coped moving onto cow's milk and then maybe a conversation will start up from there? Even if you just plant a seed of doubt which means they will ask for clarification that might help.

    That's usually my approach, rather than flat out giving my opinion...

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    Quote Originally Posted by mrsharvey View Post
    Is it possible they misinterpreted what the nurse said? If so, could you innocently ask how the bub coped moving onto cow's milk and then maybe a conversation will start up from there? Even if you just plant a seed of doubt which means they will ask for clarification that might help.

    That's usually my approach, rather than flat out giving my opinion...
    That's a good idea I'll try that approach. Thank you!

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    Is it possible that the grandma passed on incorrect information by accident?

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    I would hope the grandmother just misunderstood and they are still giving milk.

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    Quote Originally Posted by peanutmonkey View Post
    Is it possible that the grandma passed on incorrect information by accident?

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    It is possible. She's very "competitive" for some reason. So I'm wondering now if it was her way of implying her granddaughter is ahead of our DD. It's definitely happened before haha

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anjalee View Post
    It is possible. She's very "competitive" for some reason. So I'm wondering now if it was her way of implying her granddaughter is ahead of our DD. It's definitely happened before haha
    In this case, I'd be inclined to take it with a grain of salt really... it sounds super competitive, and you'd probably just open up a can of worms if you mentioned something

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    Is the grandmother the child's primary carer? If not, I hope she just misunderstood what the parents said they were doing. If the child's primary care giver said that they were not feeding a child any milk at all, either breast or formula, I think I'd have to say something.

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    I reckon the grandma is full of bs. I mean really though, does that make the child more advanced? Deary me. Just do my standard "mmmm that's nice" response in future.


 

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