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  1. #41
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    Quote Originally Posted by shelle65 View Post
    I think, as a society, "we" have allowed the bad treatment of women for a very very long time. I don't think it's now fair to expect the victims of this societal construct to turn that tide and suddenly start to disallow it, much as I wish they could - as it would be the easy solution.
    Yes, completely agree the problem of DV in Aust is far deeper than women just lacking the strength to leave. There is an ingrained culture that men can't help it. That women nag too much. That being a single mum is akin to having the plague. Breaches of AVO's mean nothing often.

    It's just gut wrenching (and frustrating) though to see women who are badly treated continue to stay

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  3. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by RipperRita View Post
    I haven't read the other replies yet and not sure of what this question relates to but I'll answer how I see it. I think that "a decent person treats everyone with respect and dignity". The onus should ALWAYS be on the perpetrator to be accountable for their actions no matter what. While I have no doubt that certain personality traits and personal history can make someone more prone to becoming a victim. It still doesn't take away the fact that someone essentially has to prey on that vulnerability and the person that does that is the one at fault, not the one that displays the vulnerability in the first place. Does that make sense!

  4. #43
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    Quote Originally Posted by RipperRita View Post
    I haven't read the other replies yet and not sure of what this question relates to but I'll answer how I see it. I think that "a decent person treats everyone with respect and dignity". The onus should ALWAYS be on the perpetrator to be accountable for their actions no matter what. While I have no doubt that certain personality traits and personal history can make someone more prone to becoming a victim. It still doesn't take away the fact that someone essentially has to prey on that vulnerability and the person that does that is the one at fault, not the one that displays the vulnerability in the first place. Does that make sense!

  5. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    Yes, completely agree the problem of DV in Aust is far deeper than women just lacking the strength to leave. There is an ingrained culture that men can't help it. That women nag too much. That being a single mum is akin to having the plague. Breaches of AVO's mean nothing often.

    It's just gut wrenching (and frustrating) though to see women who are badly treated continue to stay
    It's not just society's (somewhat) acceptance of DV. It's that it is still normal for men to spend weekends away fishing/golf/etc without 'asking'. Its that the majority of domestic management, regardless of how paid work and home chores are split, still falls on the woman. It's the stud versus sl ut double standard. It's so many things that lead to an imbalance of power in so many male-female relationships.

    I remember coming to the realisation when DD was about 1 that most "women's" hobbies (craft etc) are things that can be done quietly when the kids are in bed. Whereas most "men's" hobbies are out if the home, typically for as long as they want (golf, fishing, playing poker etc). These attitudes are just so deeply ingrained.

    Sent from my GT-S5830 using The Bub Hub mobile app

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    delirium  (16-02-2014),KaraB  (16-02-2014),Mokeybear  (16-02-2014),peanutmonkey  (16-02-2014),Renn  (16-02-2014)

  7. #45
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    I remember once when I was still with my ex leaving the house and practically forcing him to stay with our daughter which never happened before and he was furious!! He always came and went as he liked- free as a bird.. He didnt like not having a choice one single bit not even as a once off lol. He was so mad he kicked my car as I was getting into it. All because he didn't want to stay home with our daughter one isolated time for a couple of hours.
    Last edited by KaraB; 16-02-2014 at 18:51.

  8. #46
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    Its funny as I used to believe in this quote until my most recent experience with my evil bully of a neighbor! All i have ever done is stand up to her, and it only made her target me and despise me more! Some people can just refuse to back off no matter how much you stand up for yourself. It definitely can make them worse if they're that much of a p*ick!

    I still think there is a level of truth to the quote, but its depending on the situation.

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  10. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by KaraB View Post
    I remember once when I was still with my ex leaving the house and practically forcing him to stay with our daughter which never happened before and he was furious!! He always came and went as he liked- free as a bird.. He didnt like not having a choice one single bit not even as a once off lol. He was so mad he kicked my car as I was getting into it. All because he didn't want to stay home with our daughter one isolated time for a couple of hours.
    Oh my gawd, he sounds very selfish!! No wonder he's an ex now!

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