+ Reply to Thread
Page 2 of 5 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 48
  1. #11
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,848
    Thanks
    6,201
    Thanked
    16,895
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by VicPark View Post
    Yes but you can choose to remove yourself from the situation (most times, although I agree it is not always easy for some).
    I admit, I do read some threads and think wtf? leave!!! But you and I are strong personalities that refuse to put up with crap. Not everyone is like us. When I was very young, I was in a bad relationship with a guy that cheated on me, controlled me and tried to cut me off from my friends. For a while he had me at a point I refused to believe he was cheating and I defended him. I did wake up, and got rid of him. But again, even as a teen I was a pretty strong person.

    I dunno, I just think the basis is somewhat true, people need to stand their ground and demand good treatment. In marriages, friendships, at work. But it over simplifies things.

  2. The Following User Says Thank You to delirium For This Useful Post:

    KaraB  (16-02-2014)

  3. #12
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
    Posts
    7,053
    Thanks
    6,263
    Thanked
    5,481
    Reviews
    4
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a weekBusiest Member of the Week - Most posts for the week ending 5/6/2014
    I like to think I am a strong person who wont put up with being treated poorly by my partner. However, that's coming from a place where I have a respectful kind DH.

    However, I get treated by absolute crap by friends and certain family members. I am too scared to stand up for myself because I have poor self esteem and self worth. I think the only reason I stand up to my husband is because he has spent the last almost 11 years proving to me time and time again that he will never leave me, even if I do stand up for myself.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  4. The Following User Says Thank You to peanutmonkey For This Useful Post:

    Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (16-02-2014)

  5. #13
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    12,708
    Thanks
    9,558
    Thanked
    12,691
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    Awards:
    Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 9/1/15Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 7/11/14Busiest Member of the Week - week ended 3/10/14100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I admit, I do read some threads and think wtf? leave!!! But you and I are strong personalities that refuse to put up with crap. Not everyone is like us. When I was very young, I was in a bad relationship with a guy that cheated on me, controlled me and tried to cut me off from my friends. For a while he had me at a point I refused to believe he was cheating and I defended him. I did wake up, and got rid of him. But again, even as a teen I was a pretty strong person.

    I dunno, I just think the basis is somewhat true, people need to stand their ground and demand good treatment. In marriages, friendships, at work. But it over simplifies things.
    I agree with you. Although people can theoretically make a stand, it's not always easy and can over-simplify things.

  6. #14
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    my house
    Posts
    17,699
    Thanks
    1,391
    Thanked
    7,288
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 posts
    I hadn't thought of it in regards to child abuse etc. but rather threads I've read here where people put up with their husbands expecting them to do everything or family members taking people for granted or using them.

  7. The Following User Says Thank You to BigRedV For This Useful Post:

    VicPark  (16-02-2014)

  8. #15
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    22,848
    Thanks
    6,201
    Thanked
    16,895
    Reviews
    10
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 postsRuby Star - 15,000 postsDiamond Star - 20,000 posts
    Awards:
    Bubhub Blogger - Thanks100 Posts in a week
    Quote Originally Posted by BigRedV View Post
    I hadn't thought of it in regards to child abuse etc. but rather threads I've read here where people put up with their husbands expecting them to do everything or family members taking people for granted or using them.
    Same. I hadn't thought of it from that perspective either. Like you, I was thinking more about adult relationships.

  9. #16
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    3,220
    Thanks
    1,254
    Thanked
    1,085
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    For me, I won't tolerate much. I'm very moody and it all depends on how I'm feeling and who the other person is.

  10. #17
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    2,226
    Thanks
    3,792
    Thanked
    2,210
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    I think what some people forget or don't understand from experience is that being in an abusive relationship over time does erode confidence and self esteem, it's brainwashing. It's humiliating and changes who you are as a person, it also makes you dishonest as you have secrets.

    I left my abusive husband when I was 27, it was ANYTHING but easy, even now if I let my mind go there ( I'm 43) I can still get pretty upset and furious, a lot of that stems from letting a person do that to me! But I've had the luxury of many years passing to grow up , get some perspective and forgive myself.

    It's given me huge empathy for woman and children and a scathing hatred for abusive men.

  11. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Mokeybear For This Useful Post:

    Pesca77  (16-02-2014),PurpleButterfly4  (16-02-2014)

  12. #18
    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Posts
    2,051
    Thanks
    8,078
    Thanked
    1,258
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    Quote Originally Posted by delirium View Post
    I admit, I do read some threads and think wtf? leave!!! But you and I are strong personalities that refuse to put up with crap. Not everyone is like us. When I was very young, I was in a bad relationship with a guy that cheated on me, controlled me and tried to cut me off from my friends. For a while he had me at a point I refused to believe he was cheating and I defended him. I did wake up, and got rid of him. But again, even as a teen I was a pretty strong person.

    I dunno, I just think the basis is somewhat true, people need to stand their ground and demand good treatment. In marriages, friendships, at work. But it over simplifies things.
    Yeah it is true in certain cases my ex in particular. Worlds greatest cheating a hole. But his other whatever she is, doesn't play that sh*t and he seems to pay more attention to the consequences of screwing her over. Mind you he still does, he just goes to greater lengths to hide it. But overal he gives the impression that he respects her far more than he does me because I can't be bothered fighting most if the time and don't have the time or inclination to be a vindictive b*tch. I think people will treat you better when you have better self esteem and don't suffer fools gladly but there will always be exceptions to this. And a hole bosses, landlords - people in positions of power in your life that you sometimes have to put up with at least temporarily.

  13. #19
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    2,226
    Thanks
    3,792
    Thanked
    2,210
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 posts
    So when I am reading about an abusive situation I cringe at the put down comments, she already hears this! She is already knocked down! what she needs is her self esteem built up because once she gets that, that's when you will get her out the door.

  14. The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Mokeybear For This Useful Post:

    beebs  (16-02-2014),harvs  (16-02-2014),JungleMum  (16-02-2014),Mod-RaryGirl  (16-02-2014),peanutmonkey  (16-02-2014),Pesca77  (16-02-2014),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (16-02-2014),~BEXTER~  (16-02-2014)

  15. #20
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
    Posts
    5,865
    Thanks
    986
    Thanked
    3,330
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    I believe that sometimes people treat you horribly without you letting it happen or even knowing it is happening.

    Of course I'm speaking from my personal experience with a husband at the time who knew very well his things would be out the door if he ever treated me badly.

    He still did.

    Despite him knowing the consequences, despite him begging and crying to come home, despite the fact that I was pregnant with our second child and add to that the fact that we were 'seemingly' the poster couple for how things should be. Just one month earlier he'd bought me a massive blingy replacement engagement/wedding set for our fifth wedding anniversary.

    He was bedside himself and heart broken that I refused to let him even know I was in labour or be there for the birth of our second child.

    He treated me horribly, took me on the most heart breaking roller coaster of emotions I could ever have imagined being on. He smashed my heart into a million little pieces..... But he only did it once.

    I firmly believe I didn't 'allow' him to treat me that way (it still blows my mind that he was the person I'd grown with and he knew me inside out as my best friend for 11 years).

    But there was no way I could allow a person who disrespected me when I felt so vulnerable have a second chance.

    He didn't abuse me leading up to it, he didn't hurt me physically but he made me so afraid to ever trust another man again because I thought I had a fairy tale with a happy ending in sight - I just didn't anticipate him taking a bite of the poisoned apple offered by a horrible witch.

  16. The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Theboys&me For This Useful Post:

    Pesca77  (16-02-2014),PurpleButterfly4  (16-02-2014)


 

Similar Threads

  1. Your favourite not-so-well-known treat?
    By Mod-Degrassi in forum General Chat
    Replies: 96
    Last Post: 04-11-2013, 22:35
  2. Best way to treat toddler's dry scalp
    By Mod-Degrassi in forum General Child Health Issues
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 29-09-2013, 14:10
  3. Easter treat for a 14 mth old - no dairy
    By Kriselby in forum Weaning & Starting solids
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 29-03-2013, 07:58

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
christmas gift guidesee all Red Stocking
WaterWipes
Give your babies bottom a gift this Xmas! They are the only wipe made using just water and a drop of grapefruit seed extract and may help avoid nappy rash. Check out the great reviews on bubhub and see our website for more info and availability.
sales & new stuffsee all
True Fairies
True Fairies is the first interactive website where children can engage and speak with a real fairy through the unique webcam fairy portal. Each session is tailored to the child, and is filled with enchantment and magic.
Visit website to find out more!
featured supporter
Ro and Co
Ro and Co kids cooking classes and parties are a fantastic way for children to experiment with food. The classes and parties are designed to be both educational and fun, giving your child the skills they need to be confident and creative in the kitchen.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!