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  1. #51
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    He sounds like a doodle.
    I only have one bub (13 months) and OMG the constant mess she makes! I feel like all I do is tidy up after her!
    I agree with others about making him look after them for an entire day and see how he goes doing that and scrubbing the house!
    Also agree with perhaps hiring a cleaner!!!
    Good luck

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    KaraB  (15-02-2014)

  3. #52
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    Can I also add from a child's point of view. My dad sounds the same as your partner. As your children grow up they will pick up on the tension you are feeling and they will start to feel the same way. I hated it when my dad lived with us. It was constant eggshells. Not knowing when he was going to be home, the mood he was going to be in, what we were going to have done wrong this time etc. you need to stand up for yourself now before it has time to affect your children. Our house was horrible every day after 5 with the uncertainty. Please don't just change things for you, change them for your children and their future. My dad never changed but the day he left was the best day ever and everyone was so much more relaxed (not suggesting you should leave its just what happened with my dad - he found someone he could boss around who would treat him like a God since my mum refused to allow him to walk all over her) Huge hugs and I hope he can see sense once he's had alone time with them! xxxxx

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    KaraB  (15-02-2014)

  5. #53
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    Can I also say. Ask him to make a list of exactly what he thinks you should be doing with regards to cooking cleaning etc. then give it to him and leave for the day. If he can't realistically do it while looking after 3 children then you shouldn't be expected to either.

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    delirium  (15-02-2014),JungleMum  (16-02-2014),KaraB  (15-02-2014),penny92  (15-02-2014),VicPark  (17-02-2014)

  7. #54
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    He sounds awful 😓. People treat you how you let them though - so something in you deep down must feel like a helpless victim and/or like you don't deserve any better 😓💖. My advice would be to find your confidence and stand up for yourself (easier said than done I know). Only you can change what treatment you will and won't accept anymore. *hugs*

  8. #55
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    I think he has unrealistic expectations and misplaced priorities, to put it mildly.

    I work full-time and my partner is the SaHD. As long as our daughter's alive at the end of the day he's done his job!

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    beebs  (16-02-2014),KaraB  (16-02-2014),Mod-Degrassi  (17-02-2014)

  10. #56
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    Oh wow OP. Your thread made me feel really sad. An abuser doesn't have to punch someone. The fact that you feel psychically sick waiting for him to come home says it all really. I don't much like the "if it were me" type responses. I am a very vocal, outgoing, person, and I ended up in a bad relationship. It took me two years to leave, because I started to believe him when he said things like, "no one will ever love you the way I do" blah, blah. I didn't have kids, and I can only imagine the extra weight on your shoulders. But you'll deal with it when you are ready, and in the meantime, feel free to vent away.

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    KaraB  (16-02-2014),Mokeybear  (16-02-2014)

  12. #57
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    How did he go with the dinner, bath, bed routine tonight?

    Sent from my telecommunications device.

  13. #58
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    Well the kids survived, they were feed, bathed, and baby was asleep in bed and the other two were asleep on him, so he was unable to move. I'm hoping he gets a wake up call.

  14. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by TerrorJay View Post
    Thanks again, should clarify he doesn't mind me going out, but he doesn't believe I should be going out while there is housework to be done and since the house always is not in a spotless condition when he gets home, obviously my going out is preventing me from achieving this.
    I just wish he would stop living in the 1950's
    Try having that PLUS a family member close by that feels the same way who lives very close to you. Exhausting, some days feels like I'm pressured to ignore my children to clean!


 

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