This OP made me so sad. I agree with what most PPs have written, but I just wanted to add that what stood out to me is that it's not so much that you two have different values (that stuff can be talked through over time), it's the way you are being spoken to. The fact that you are doubting your own reaction to the situation is, as another PP said, gaslighting, and the door is wide open for an emotionally abusive relationship to continue/escalate. You yourself have questioned staying with him. I'm not going to say to leave or anything like that, but I would suggest, from experience, that when you start to doubt yourself in one context, then that spreads and you doubt everything you feel and think. When your feelings are continually dismissed or mocked, you start to believe that it's you with the problem.
Well, you do have a problem. The problem is your husband. He doesn't sound to me like he will change. Does he speak to you this way in front of your children? Because children will learn from what they experience. Do you want your children speaking to you like that as well? Or to enter relationships where they speak like that? Because you deserve better. You sound like you've been trying so hard for a long time, and your needs aren't being met or even valued. I would suggest you go to counselling and just talk out how you feel.
Just as an aside, but kind of OT, I often see hubbers comment that they 'wouldn't put up with that' or 'wouldn't stand for that'. When I've had my own threads where this comment has been made, I understand intellectually that it's coming from a place of supportiveness, as in - no, that's really out of line - but it used to make me feel...weak, or a failure or something. I understand that you can only do what you can as far as your husband is concerned. You've tried reasoning, you've tried arguing. It's not as simple sometimes as just saying 'I don't accept this'. I get that. But there is some very good advice here that it might be worth trying if you still have it in you. Good luck.