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  1. #81
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    This it just horrific, I can't comprehend what brings someone to hurt their own child, I look at my ds and feel violently ill at the thought anyone would hurt him

    I believe our mental health system sucks. There is such a lack of emphasis on the general public/victims safety, in exchange for individual rights of the mentally ill.

    Something needs to be done, but what? How do we walk the fine line of treatment/intervention between an individuals rights, even when others are clearly at risk??

    I say this after witnessing someone with long term documented mental illness and a criminal record as a result, who had, at one point been *charged* with attempted murder (charge dropped to a lesser one).....said person years later, snapped, again, was taken away by police for mental instability.........then returned an hour later-by mental health nurse-because they convinced them they were fine! (despite police removing them)
    its frustrating, its upsetting, and its so disheartening that time and time again these people are let go because theres no support or funding, or, like in my Case, the narcassist can sit there calmly and "yes sir, no sir, how high sir" and be considered fine. The person I'm referring to has said they "just tell then what they want to hear so they leave me alone".

    I have no doubt in my mind that this was premeditated, and sadly, I do think after being related closely to someone like that, that the warning signs are there. Its just that those at immediate risk (in this case, poor luke ), have their safety and needs put aside by a failing health system that puts the rights of mentally ill people first.

    Im sure lukes poor mum knew this risk was here, we don't know, but to have an avo out, shes obviously tried to keep luke and herself safe, but at the end of the day its just a piece of paper, and won't stop the person if they are serious...... you would assume he was safe at a public cricket match/training with any normal person, even maybe a slightly mental ill person, but this man was far beyond that.

    I hope that lukes mum can recover from this... Its such a huge tragedy, I really hope something in our laws is changed so we see an end to these repeated tragedies.

    Rip luke.


    Proudly brought to you by me and my autocorrect fail device.

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  3. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bluebirdgirl View Post
    What I'm saying is why did she feel he was trustworthy.
    I can't be bothered trying to explain my thoughts any further, think what you will of what I've said.
    In any situations there are many people and circumstances to 'blame'.
    When things go wrong we will always wonder was there more that could have been done.
    I'm sure she will question that choice for the rest of her life.
    Because he had only ever been a danger to her. Because even the family courts and police avo only considered her safety to be an issue. Leave the poor woman alone, your posts are coming across as victim blaming!

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  5. #83
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    Umm wtf was he doing around his son after he had a warrant to do with child porn?? If that's not a reason to restrict access further I don't know what is. It doesn't seem to matter anymore what a man does - if he's the father he gets access full stop.

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  7. #84
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    Quote Originally Posted by KaraB View Post
    Umm wtf was he doing around his son after he had a warrant to do with child porn?? If that's not a reason to restrict access further I don't know what is. It doesn't seem to matter anymore what a man does - if he's the father he gets access full stop.
    This is what I was saying- the courts are so often not in accordance with each other and getting to court to change things takes far too long. I would doubt that the mother was aware of this warrant too. Things need to be overhauled in a big way IMO.

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  9. #85
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    You know, lots of things are 'just an opinion'. Things like racism, sexism, fascism, homophobia. Opinions are, and should always be, open to debate, especially on a forum, which is by definition a place to meet and discuss things.

    There are people making assumptions about this woman. Fair enough, we all do that, but there *is* victim blaming going on in this thread. It's like Lindy Chamberlain - she couldn't win because she didn't appear bereaved enough in court. A woman that is too calm is criticized. A woman who is too distressed is criticized. A woman who is too positive is criticized.

    Everyone's grief is personal to them alone, and it's not up to anyone else to comment on how this poor, poor woman presents herself, nor what she has said in the hours after only child's senseless murder. She didn't owe the world a statement but she chose to make one. She will likely be going over these events over and over every day for the rest of her life, and her probable conclusion, as with most of is when things go wrong, will be that she blames herself, whether rightly or wrongly so.

    It's not up to anyone else to blame her, or assume that we would have known any better in her situation.

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  11. #86
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    Oh I agree. I'm not angry at the mother I'm angry at a system that prevents her from protecting her child. Her talking about her son loving his father even after he murdered him to me is really sad. It paints the picture of a woman broken down long ago. With no choice but to support his relationship with a man who has threatened her life and abused her because lets face it courts pretty much demand it and don't look favorably on those who don't support a relationship between a child and the father regardless of the circumstances. It's messed up. It sounds to me like she had to convince herself it was the right thing to do in order to cope with being forced to allow access. This makes me furious.

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  13. #87
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    Default *trigger warning- distressing* Father kills son and is shot by police.

    .
    Last edited by xyz987; 10-02-2016 at 20:40.

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    If there was warrants out for his arrest I wonder why mum or other family/friends didn't advise police of meet up point so they could arrest the dad?

    I find the whole situation very confusing & I think there's likely to be a whole lot of background that we will never know. I think the mother is in a great deal of shock & to be honest if I was her I'd also probably give a statement sooner rather than later just to get it over & done with. We all deal with grief in different ways & I don't think someone should be judged on how they grieve, I guess all our coulda, woulda, shoulda is pointless as it doesn't change the fact that a child is dead now.

    I found her statement quite honest and raw to be honest as she pointed out very clearly that family violence affects people from all walks of life.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    If there was warrants out for his arrest I wonder why mum or other family/friends didn't advise police of meet up point so they could arrest the dad?

    I find the whole situation very confusing & I think there's likely to be a whole lot of background that we will never know. I think the mother is in a great deal of shock & to be honest if I was her I'd also probably give a statement sooner rather than later just to get it over & done with. We all deal with grief in different ways & I don't think someone should be judged on how they grieve, I guess all our coulda, woulda, shoulda is pointless as it doesn't change the fact that a child is dead now.

    I found her statement quite honest and raw to be honest as she pointed out very clearly that family violence affects people from all walks of life.
    I don't know if she would have been aware of his warrants?

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  19. #90
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tamtam View Post
    I recently saw a story on Dr Phil where a woman was shot in the leg by her husband and he shot himself. The courts in the US took her children away from her because they deemed that she was negligent by allowing her children to continue to be with the dad/husband and not leaving to protect them. Dr Phil said he would do everything in his power to help the woman get her children back as she was a victim of DV and not the perpetrator. The story was very sad.

    Makes me think of this story and those who say the mum didn't protect her boy. It's not her fault. Not in any way. She's is a victim. She thought a public place would be a safe space for her son to see his daddy. There is no way that anyone could see the future and see that this could happen.

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    I saw that episode too. And dr Phil did give the mother a bit of a mouthful (politely) for putting her kids in danger: she took hubby back after he already threatened her with a gun before. Knowing he still had a gun. Because she thought she could fix him. So I think she was negligent and didn't put her kids first. But dr Phil knew she was a victim too so offered to give her all the help he could.

    - not using this to say in any way lukes mum is responsible.

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