Look, we all have things we have done and decisions we have made, that with hindsight we would have done differently. None of us have the ability to look into the future and see whether that decision would not impact our life, or would change our life irrevocably. Except may be psychics
We can blame many people-the courts, the police-but ultimately the blame lies squarely with the father.
Like several PPs mentioned, Lindy Chamberlain is a strong example of victim blaming in Australia. Would she have done things differently with the benefit of hindsight? Absolutely. But at the time, she fully believed Azaria was 100% safe, as nothing had shown her otherwise.
Rosie Batty believed her son was safe, as her ex had not shown her otherwise. Yes, he was a threat to her. Yes, she knew he was capable of hurting her. But he had never threatened his son. So she made that choice as she felt that her son was safe, and she may have felt it was easier for Luke to see his father in a public place, than to have him turn up somewhere private.
Just because her and her ex were no longer together, doesn't make her any less of a victim of DV. I doubt she had worked through things yet, and most likely still wanted Lukes father to be a part of his life.
Once he was an adult and had made his own choices, she probably would have looked back and realised that perhaps his father should have not been a part of his life. She may have moved on, met someone else, and no longer had any emotion clouding her judgement.
But now she will never get to do that, and Luke will never be an adult.
I also doubt that she knew about the child porn charges.
None of us can also know how we would show our grief, and we don't have a right to say how someone else should show theirs. Look at the hell the Mcanns had to live with on top of the devastation and guilt they would have already been going through, simply because so many people felt they were to blame as they did not share their grief publicly enough for them