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  1. #91
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    Look, we all have things we have done and decisions we have made, that with hindsight we would have done differently. None of us have the ability to look into the future and see whether that decision would not impact our life, or would change our life irrevocably. Except may be psychics

    We can blame many people-the courts, the police-but ultimately the blame lies squarely with the father.

    Like several PPs mentioned, Lindy Chamberlain is a strong example of victim blaming in Australia. Would she have done things differently with the benefit of hindsight? Absolutely. But at the time, she fully believed Azaria was 100% safe, as nothing had shown her otherwise.

    Rosie Batty believed her son was safe, as her ex had not shown her otherwise. Yes, he was a threat to her. Yes, she knew he was capable of hurting her. But he had never threatened his son. So she made that choice as she felt that her son was safe, and she may have felt it was easier for Luke to see his father in a public place, than to have him turn up somewhere private.

    Just because her and her ex were no longer together, doesn't make her any less of a victim of DV. I doubt she had worked through things yet, and most likely still wanted Lukes father to be a part of his life.
    Once he was an adult and had made his own choices, she probably would have looked back and realised that perhaps his father should have not been a part of his life. She may have moved on, met someone else, and no longer had any emotion clouding her judgement.
    But now she will never get to do that, and Luke will never be an adult.

    I also doubt that she knew about the child porn charges.

    None of us can also know how we would show our grief, and we don't have a right to say how someone else should show theirs. Look at the hell the Mcanns had to live with on top of the devastation and guilt they would have already been going through, simply because so many people felt they were to blame as they did not share their grief publicly enough for them

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  3. #92
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    Well said @mamaof4

  4. #93
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    Quote Originally Posted by Atropos View Post
    I don't know if she would have been aware of his warrants?
    If she wasn't aware of the warrants that's bs in my opinion especially if any of the warrants were in regard to child p0rn.

    Our legal system is a joke.

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  6. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by ourbradybunch View Post
    If she wasn't aware of the warrants that's bs in my opinion especially if any of the warrants were in regard to child p0rn.

    Our legal system is a joke.
    I don't know how it works, if the privacy laws come into it or why they hadn't arrested him. There is now an investigation as to why this fell through the cracks. There are major holes in the system, I agree!
    http://www.theage.com.au/victoria/po...214-32pgl.html

    ETA this article says the warrants were for failing to attend court

  7. #95
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    Well it now seems that the reason Greg Anderson was not in custody is because there was an 'IT glitch' in regards to the warrants issued. Not much is being said, other than the fact that the warrants are probably 'sitting at a southern surburban police station'.

    The police admit to speaking to him on the 24th Jan in regards to threats of violence to another person, but did not execute the warrants. It's also believed he appeared in front of a magistrate in late Jan, as someone else had applied for an intervention order against him.

    The previous warrants were current and could have been executed during either of those times, but were not, due apparently to the 'glitch

  8. #96
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    I am positively sickened by the victim blaming and the questioning of the mother's reactions by some in this thread. Comments like "how can she be so calm", "I would have offed myself", "I wouldn't have been able to speak with the media soon".

    How the hell does anyone know how they would react in these situations? There is no "right" way to behave. Grief is so complicated. The woman is in shock. Leave her alone.

    This story makes me so ****ing angry I am beside myself. I am so sick of women and innocent children being the constant victims of angry men. They are the perennial victims and nothing ever changes. The system fails them over and over but ultimately something is very wrong with some males in our society.

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  10. #97
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    I find it absolutely abhorrent when people start criticising and scrutinize peoples grief processes. It's none of anyones business how she appears in the public eye and you have No idea how she is when the cameras are off. She may be like me, Grief is a very private thing to me and I do it alone in the privacy of my home. When I lost my newborn I was told I was a cold heartless b_tch by my ex because I appeared to not care. Why would I show my grief in front of him? that is something private and not everyone has the right to share in someones grief.

    I wont even get started on the what she should have dones. They're not relevant ever, and the ONLY person responsible for this poor poor childs death is his father.

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  12. #98
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    As a father and one who has suffered from mental illness and has had my own battles with depression and anger management, I can not, in any way, send my mind to a place where this father was thinking. I've been reading articles that talk about other parents who have taken the lives of their children. There was one who felt the world was just an evil and horrible place and did it as a mercy killing. Now, to you and I, it's a tragedy and I in no way agree with it. But there was a reason and it was one brought out of twisted form of love.

    This - this is different. It horrifies me that someone could do this. On my darkest days where I wanted to take my own life, my thoughts were still for my kids and I was comforted by the fact that they were loved and cared for. During my recovery, it was being there for them and being a good father that got me through day to day. Hell, there's still days like that where they can be my only reason for living (not as many days like that anymore thankfully).

    As a mental health advocate I am always the first to ask for empathy and understanding. But this has to be one of the worst thngs I've ever come across. What he did and the manner in which he did it is just the worst thing you can do as a human being. It appears it was born out of revenge against the mother and that is something that happens all too often - using kids as revenge. This is just the most extreme case of this that I've seen.

    As to the mother - what a soldier. So much respect for her to be able to put out such an empathy filled statement so soon after it happened. Hopefully her plea to improve both the mental health system and the justice system is listened to. Both need massive overhauling. Nothing will bring her boy back - let's at least use this opportunity to ensure that it doesn't happen ever again.


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  14. #99
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    Just wanna say-

    everyone saying "I/someone close to me suffers from mental illness and I/they would never do anything like this...." There are so many different types of mental illness, and they all affect people in completely different ways, there are so many variables, we can't completely discount his mental health issues as contributing to what he did, just because its different from *our* experience of mental illness. I tend to think his ex-wife knows him better than us, yet we are all here still speculating on how wrong she is...

    And the other thing- to those saying "she must've known how dangerous he was as she had an AVO against him".... one of my closest friends has an AVO against her ex, and he still has the kids regularly. She is not at all concerned about their safety when they are with him.

    I think its really unfair to suggest she must've known how dangerous he was, and yet still allowed Luke to see him. Its basically partially blaming her for what happened.

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  16. #100
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    I see people get horrific news as part of my job. People react in ways that cover a huge spectrum, some people fall to the ground, some people scream and hit themselves, some people withdraw quietly into themselves, some people become abusive, some people jump up and start organising things, some people become wooden....you have no idea how you would react to, or in a traumatic situation until you experience it.

    This awful, awful tragedy illustrates to me everything that is wrong with how we deal with family violence in this country.

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