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  1. #1
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    Default Failing at parenting a toddler

    Does anyone else feel this way?

    I feel like I do pregnancy, birth and parenting a baby really well. But now that I have a toddler I feel like I'm completely failing when it comes to parenting him. I try to be gentle and respectful but I end up shouting, bribing, threatening etc.
    I don't have the patience and I'm just not enjoying him. I never thought I would have a favorite child but at the moment, my baby is totally my favorite! I feel so horrible because I have so much love for my baby, but then I look at my toddler and I love him a lot but I also just wish I could have a break from him and get him back when he's not like this! And then I worry that it will never get easier and he'll just get more and more difficult as he gets older.
    It doesn't help that whenever I say that I'm struggling with him, someone has to chime in with "oh, you think THIS is hard!? Wait until he's 4! (Or 10, or a teenager etc.)". I would NEVER say something like that when someone vents to me about how they're struggling with their baby!

  2. #2
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    I have my son in daycare . It gives me a break and gives him the stimulation he needs . Is this a option for you?

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    Cdro  (13-02-2014)

  4. #3
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    And yes I feel the same way. I woke up last week and just didn't want to be "mum" that day. I knew that I was going to have a bad day so we went out all day and just kept busy rather then fighting at home . Do what you need to do to keep sane

  5. #4
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    For sure. I have those moments.
    A lot of the time I vent that DS1 has made me into a mum I never wanted to be. Now DS2 is growing up and is presenting new problems for us to solve.

    Things may not get better, or worse, just different.

    I'm finding I am enjoying my DS1 more now he is 4. He now listens (sometimes), and doesn't bolt in the other direction as soon as I ask him to come to me (most of the time). He is still a challenge, but in a different way.

    I agree with a pp. any option of utilising child are for a break? Or check out if there are creche's near you where you can leave both of them for an hour....

  6. #5
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    My kids are now 5 & 3, but I remember when I had a 2 y/o and a newborn and one day I whispered to my newborn "you are so my favourite child". When I had a 4 & 2 y/o I remember muttering under my breath while dealing with a tantruming 2 y/o "your sister is so my favourite child at the moment". It's totally normal and it does pass. Hang in there.

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    VanityFey  (13-02-2014)

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    You're not alone, I find my 2.5 yr old toddler incredibly hard to deal with. I always feel like I'm doing something wrong and I feel like I'm getting nowhere because I have no idea what I'm doing. And you're right about the comments...they aren't helpful at all and I hate hearing it because you don't want to worry about what they are like next year or the year after you just want to cope with now.

    I decided that I'm not the parent I want to be in regards to discipline so I ended up buying the book 123 Magic. I haven't been able to read it yet but it comes as highly reccomended and I'm really looking forward to getting some ideas. They also have parenting classes that I have heard are really good.

    We are also looking at putting ds1 into day care after we move because I believe he is just one of those busy kids that needs lots of stimulation that I can't always give him (I have a 6 month old aswell). Not only would he get to learn and play at day care I would also get some respite and hopefully have a little more patience. Is day care an option for you?

    I get where you're coming from because I'm there too.

  9. #7
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    I was very much like this with DS1, he is extremely full on, still is at almost 6 yrs old.

    When DS2 came along with a lot of health issues it almost pushed me over the edge so I had to put DS1 in daycare 2 days a week. It was a stretch moneywise but I really needed it.

    But you are definitely not alone. And all kids arr different. I find DS2 an absolute breeze compared to DS1 and DS2 actually had Sensory Processing Disorder so should technically be the hard one.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  10. #8
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    I think most parents have days where they have just 'had it' with their kids. No matter what the age. This is me most afternoons which is when utube & a glass of wine comes in VERY handy. No advice just letting you know I think it's normal xxx

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    Oh and I dont have a favourite but I definitely have an easiest kid and the one who is easiest to please and spend time with. Doesnt mean I love him more than the other 2 just means that for now he is so easy, it makes being around him pleasant.

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  12. #10
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    He's in daycare 1 day a week, I really can't justify any more than that.

    The worst thing is that I've worked in child care, as a nanny and an EC teacher and I never felt like this with other kids.


 

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