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  1. #1
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    Default How long would you give it before deciding he's not ready yet?

    Apologies in advance for long post....

    We started DS (2yrs, 3months) wearing undies during the day on Saturday last weekend.

    So as of Day 6 it doesn't seem to have clicked yet.

    We are having less accidents because he is holding on longer (on Monday he didn't do any wee or poo till just before 4pm!)

    He can get through a nap keeping his pull-up dry.

    However, we have yet to get him onto the toilet in time for him to actually go in there.

    Our approach has been to just remind him to let us know if he needs to do wee's or poo's so we can help him go on the big boy toilet. Also giving lots of praise and stickers for remembering to keep his undies dry.
    Then we just watch him closely looking for signs he's about to go. Once he starts having an accident I scoop him up and get him onto the toilet but really it all goes on the floor, none really in the toilet...except poo which we empty into the toilet.

    He loves put the paper in the toilet and flushing.

    A few times I've thought he was going to go and he's sat on toilet for a while and then had an accident shortly after getting off.

    Prior to this he was telling me 'poo's' a few minutes before doing one in his nappy.

    We spent the months leading up to this week talking about doing poo and wee in the toilet like mummy and daddy.

    I guess I am a little concerned we have started him before he is ready because I have been pressured by those around me to get him out of nappies before baby 2 arrives in 8weeks.

    He is very obsessed with his trains and part of me thinks he just gets too caught up in his play to remember to let me know he needs to go...even though I remind him constantly....

    Am I being silly? Should I give him another week? Or should I just try again when he's older and asking to go to the toilet?

  2. #2
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    My DS was the same and honestly I just left it and tried again when he had just turned 3 and it was so easy - he skipped the potty and went straight to the toilet , we have not had any accidents, he obviously has bladder control now and we never intended to night train him but for the first 2 weeks he was waking up dry so we ditched the pull ups and now he is night trained as well - I just didn't think he was ready last year and it seemed to make both of us stressed but this time it was really so easy as he understood

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    giggle berry  (13-02-2014)

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    Hi there. My little boy is 27 months and We started tt in January. Like you I had hoped to have everything sorted before bub 2 arrived..

    We went cold turkey on day nappies for a whole week. Omg there were accidents galore I was frustrated with cleaning wee all the time!. I told hubby I was pulling the pin on it because DS wasn't ready. The problem was that DS wouldn't let me wind back. When I went to put a day nappy on him he chucked a wobbly, then went and sat on the potty and did a wee.

    So we continued even though DS only had a 10% success rate after the first week. Daycare helped they were happy for him to run around in undies. Now after 6 weeks DS is doing a lot better: success rate has risen to 40%. We moved from just saying "let mum and dad know when you need to do a wee or poo" to also putting him on the toilet at set times (when first waking, after brushing teeth etc). DS has started holding on to go at the 'set times.'

    I think what also helped was buying DS a very short and simple potty training book with pictures of the different steps (pull undies down, sit on potty, do wee. Wash hands etc). And a reward chart.

    I think the bottom line is the younger you start the longer it takes. I've had friends train their 3.5 year olds in a week. My 2 year old I think it will take 4+ months... If you continue with it I think you need to adjust your expectations. It will likely take at least a couple of months, possibly 4. Expect plenty of accidents and look at them as being an essential part of your kiddo learning to use the toilet. - don't mean to be condascending lowering my expectations has really helped me to dread the whole tt process.

    Good luck...

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    Thanks guys. I keep changing my mind between - "we've pushed him too early and it's unfair on him" to "we just need to let him take as long as he needs to learn this huge new skill"..... I think he really does like that he's wearing big boy pants. Will be interesting to see if he refuses nappies if we do pull the pin (I think DH wants to as he is worried it is stressing DS out).
    We have a potty book but I have just ordered Toilet Time for boys as he won't sit on the potty only the special seat on the big toilet.

    VP I completely agree with lowering expectations. I guess that's what I needed to hear from those of you who've been through it. What are fair expectations?

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    Im having the same problem. Ds is 2 and 8 months. A few months ago we explained tt and put him undies. Naturally he had accidents and they really frightened him. I cuddled him and told him it was ok but now he just screams and cries if I even mention the potty or toilet. No idea what to do. I am reluctant to push him before he is ready...but not sure how I will know when he is ready as he just screams

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    giggle berry  (13-02-2014)

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    DS isn't upset at all by his accidents which is good, he just kind of stands very still with a wide eyed look. Then I scoop him up and get him onto the toilet. It is a challenge to get him to sit there for more than 10secs although I am having more luck with that now by singing songs or reading books.

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    Are you sitting him on the toilet at other times or just when you scoop him up and sit him on as you see the signs?

    If not then I would try sitting him on the toilet at certain times, maybe take him into the bathroom when you go, 1st he sees you do a wee and then it's his turn. Make it a routine, so when he first gets up, then after breakfast, before morning tea (but if he doesn't go then try again after morning tea), before lunch & after if needed etc. whenever you leave the house, make a thing of "look mummy's doing a wee before we go out, now it's your turn to try"

    Lot's of praise even for just sitting and having a try - even more for doing something. Bribes work with some kids, DD3 used to get a choc-chip for doing a wee/poo on the toilet. Didn't need to do this with DD2 she just got it.

    After a nap sit him on the toilet. if he is holding in until 4pm then he probably has some awareness of the process.

    You could also try leaving a potty in the lounge room so you don't have as far to go when you see "the look".

    Goodluck.

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    Quote Originally Posted by giggle berry View Post
    What are fair expectations?
    My expectations are:
    - DS continues to learn and move forward (albeit slowly). Celebrate the small wins
    - DS continues to be happy (does not get stressed)

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    hi, I was just wanting to add, most kids do manage to learn eventually. I think if you start too early, it will just take longer. If you delay the start it will be finished quicker. I do think simply taking the child to the toilet at regular times is a better way, rather than saying "tell me when you want to go"" . If you make it a habit, when they first wake up, and before they eat, and before they leave the house, and before bedtime /bathtime. That makes it a routine procedure, and it will become automatic behaviour which is what you are wanting it to be. Marie

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    Give him heaps more liquid than he normally has, this will increase the amount of learning experiences that he can have, and also increase the volume, so when you catch him at the start, theres still some in there that he can go into the toilet.
    When you put him on the toilet, make sure his legs are at a right angle, so feet up on a step, this helps relax his muscles so he can let go. Let him sit there for at least five minutes, but don't talk about toileting, give him leg massages, leg tickles, play with his hair, something that relaxes him, take his focus off what he's sitting there for.
    With him loving putting the toilet paper in the toilet, put it up high so he can't reach it, use it as reinforcement once he has done something in the toilet, even if it's just a few drops, but don't give it away for free. With his trains, get him a new special train toy, that he ONLY gets when he's sitting on the toilet, depending on how relaxed he is, you can keep it up high and let him touch/play with it once he's done something in the toilet, or if this is too big a step, allow him to have it when he's sitting on the toilet, and maybe have a secondary gift that he gets once he's done something (a carriage that goes with the train or something).

    Hope this helps

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