+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Location
    springfield lakes
    Posts
    1,995
    Thanks
    586
    Thanked
    509
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts

    Default How do your children cope with having a fifo parent?

    Dp has been doing fifo since November last year.

    He has a very close relationship with our 3.5 year old daughter. At first she didn't seem to really notice he was gone for such a long time, in her mind it was like he was gone one day then back again, she couldn't comprehend the fact that 2 weeks had actually passed.

    Ive noticed the last two times that she is finding it harder. Last stint she kept commenting "daddy gone to work" and I'd tell her he'll be back home soon.

    He's just left for another 15 days on Tuesday and tonight she was watching a movie in her room and when I went to check on her I noticed she had tears on her cheek. When I asked what was wrong she hugged me so tight and said she misses daddy at work. It completly broke my heart. I brought her out to sit with me on the couch and she sat close to me and pointed to the space next to her and said "thats Daddys seat" Then got grumpy at our cat for attempting to sit in his seat.

    It just makes me so sad that shes missing him so badly. We talk to him at least once a day. Any tips for dealing with this???

    Sent from my GT-I9300T using The Bub Hub mobile app

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Mackay
    Posts
    6,275
    Thanks
    809
    Thanked
    2,399
    Reviews
    1
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 posts
    Awards:
    100 Posts in a week
    Hugs xxoo

    The fifo lifestyle can be so hard sometimes. Dh has been doing it since June, 2 weeks on 1 week off (although sometimes he can be away for upto 3-4 weeks and only home 2-4 days before going again). Thankfully our kids are fairly used to him working long hours anyway so it wasn't a huge adjustment. But our 6 year old definitely has her moments of missing her dad. I found she copes a lot better once we started using a calendar and I would colour the week dh comes home. The days he is away we make a point of counting down and crossing them off every night. She also does pictures and writes letters to him while he is away.

    Can you Skype with him so your dd can see him (if you don't already)? Could he maybe buy her a special teddy or something and get him to tell her that it will keep her company while he is away and whenever she misses him to give teddy an extra tight cuddle and know daddy is thinking of her? Could you get one of the recordable story books and have him record himself reading it it so she can hear his voice whenever she wants?

    These are just some suggestions off the top of my head. Above all just remember its still a new concept to her really and it might take some time for her to properly adjust and work it all out in her own little way.

    The biggest help I found by far is the calendar though. That way they can see exactly when they will be home, how many more sleeps etc- it's not an undefined period of time in their minds anymore.


    Me + he = dd1 (July 07), dd2 (July 10), dd3 (August 13), dd4 (due may 14)
    Last edited by SheWarrior; 12-02-2014 at 23:00.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Posts
    11,313
    Thanks
    1,749
    Thanked
    1,816
    Reviews
    24
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 postsAmber Star - 2,000 postsAmethyst Star - 5,000 postsEmerald Star - 10,000 posts
    I have three kids, ds 5, ds 2 and dd 8wks. We have been fifo since ds1 was 2mths old. My kids cope ok without dad as its just the way we live. Dp does 1/1

    They still miss their dad though so they talk daily. . We also count down days, so everyday we work out how long until he is home.

  4. #4
    mumbron's Avatar
    mumbron is offline Actions speak louder than words!
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    South Australia
    Posts
    1,454
    Thanks
    118
    Thanked
    110
    Reviews
    0
    Achievements:Topaz Star - 500 posts
    My Dh has been doing fifo for a couple of years and he does 4weeks on 1 week off we have 4 kids together, twins who are 3 and a 5 & 7 year old and yes it's hard at times! But we also use Skype or just call and my kids all have a photo of their dad in a frame next to their beds.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    9
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked
    0
    Reviews
    0
    My husband does FIFO but is now on a 7/7 roster which is so much easier. We have three boys 6, 5 & 21 months and I am expecting number 4 in September. It can be really hard as he is a very hands on dad and they do miss him.
    I have had the most trouble with the 5 year old who tends to wet the bed when he is away and also accuses me of adding more days on and making it longer!!!
    We do the calendar which helps, as well as skyping when the connection works! Henry, the youngest, varies in his response. Sometimes he is extremely clingy to his dad and won't let him out of his site and othertimes he won't leave me alone! I always remind the boys when they are upset of all the great things their dad gets to do with them when he is home, like taking them to school & sports etc that some dads who work all the time don't get to do.
    I don't think it's easy on either party when they work away but the quality time when he is home definitely helps make up for it!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    Country NSW
    Posts
    9
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked
    4
    Reviews
    0
    My hubby is 3weeks/3weeks and has been for 2 years now. Our dd(10) copes pretty well, but our ds(8) misses his dad like crazy, we have a good 2-3 nights of tears and he even started sleep walking for a while there. We have a lot of time where DH has no phone/internet service so we cant even talk/Skype. Both kids have calendars in their rooms and they highlight on it when dad is due home and they write him emails that he gets if he goes through a service area but mostly just reassure them them that dad is just at work and will be home on whatever day, as well as remind them that if he worked a normal job he he wouldn't have 3whole weeks with them with no work at all! I find some times worse than others but other than some extra hugs try and keep things as normal as possible because this is our life and the time he's away is just as important as the time he's home. It certainly takes some adjustment


 

Similar Threads

  1. How to cope without your children
    By undercover13 in forum Step-parents / Blended families
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 06-02-2014, 18:31
  2. hwo do you cope with your inlaws-single parent
    By free_babe5 in forum Single Parents
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 17-05-2013, 13:11

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
free weekly newsletters | sign up now!
who are these people who write great posts? meet our hubbub authors!
Learn how you can contribute to the hubbub!

reviews
learn how you can become a reviewer!

competitions

forum - chatting now
sales & new stuffsee all
Bub Hub Sales Listing
HAVING A SALE? Let parents know about it with a Bub Hub Sales listing. Listings are featured on our well trafficked Sales Page + selected randomly to appear on EVERY page
featured supporter
Philips AVENT Australia
Pregnancy and early parenthood is an exciting and challenging time, but it’s good to know there is expert advice on hand to ensure that your baby gets the best start in life.
gotcha
X

Pregnant for the first-time?

Not sure where to start? We can help!

Our Insider Programs for pregnancy first-timers will lead you step-by-step through the 14 Pregnancy Must Dos!