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  1. #61
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    Ok this is very harsh and I might cop flack for this but i don't want to sugar coat it. It is not ok for your daughter to be around this and for you to be crying to her. She needs a stable loving home, which involves you stepping up and refusing to take part in this cycle of abuse. Stop being the victim and get rid of him.

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  3. #62
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    You need to get yourself and your kids out of there ASAP.

    He's an animal and doesn't deserve you or anyone.

    Get some money out and just leave.

    That's what I'd do, I'd be scared that physical violence would be next.

  4. #63
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    This is what a healthy relationship should look like: http://www.theduluthmodel.org/pdf/Equality.pdf Does this look and feel like your op?

  5. #64
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    Leaving is so hard. It is, anyone whose ever done it knows how difficult it is. But staying with someone like that is harder, you always think they will change - but they never do. There are two types of people in this world - those that treat others with dignity and respect - and those that don't, he is obviously the latter.

    The list of things that you wrote - that he has said or done are all completely out of line. He doesn't deserve you, you sound so kind and considerate, and he is just using and abusing you the whole time.

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  7. #65
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    I have problems ....I know that there is a 90% chance that he will come home this afternoon and grab his bags and leave and here I am running around making sure the house is spotless so that he doesn't start on me again....

    Sent from my GT-I9505 using The Bub Hub mobile app

  8. #66
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    You really need to let go of all of this and work on your self esteem and self worth. Once you have that again the rest will fall into place and you'll know exactly what to do.

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  10. #67
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    It kinda doesn't sound like you're ready to let this go so I'm thinking maybe all this concern from the kind ladies here is wasted.
    Sorry if that sounds mean but if you're not in that place no amount of encouragement or advice will help you.
    Maybe you are just looking for some needed attention and a sounding board at the moment.
    I truly hope if things worsen you will think of the children and make a move of some sort.
    But yeh I think whatever anyone can say to help you has been said, maybe you're not ready to hear it yet.

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  12. #68
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bluebirdgirl View Post
    It kinda doesn't sound like you're ready to let this go so I'm thinking maybe all this concern from the kind ladies here is wasted.
    Sorry if that sounds mean but if you're not in that place no amount of encouragement or advice will help you.
    Maybe you are just looking for some needed attention and a sounding board at the moment.
    I truly hope if things worsen you will think of the children and make a move of some sort.
    But yeh I think whatever anyone can say to help you has been said, maybe you're not ready to hear it yet.
    I know this is coming from a good place and bless you for your concern but I don't think the OP is ready for the tough love approach yet. She appears pretty raw and fragile at the moment and I imagine is feeling pretty down on herself. It takes a while to get out of that place and realise your worth again.

    OP,....... Leave the cleaning and go do something nice for yourself because you are worthy and deserve it. If your dh won't give it to you, you need to give it to yourself. Xxxx

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  14. #69
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    OP you don't deserve this treatment. And luckily for you, he's already done the hard work by packing his bags, all you have to do is find the strength to throw them out the door and call a locksmith to change the locks.

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  16. #70
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    Quote Originally Posted by RipperRita View Post
    I know this is coming from a good place and bless you for your concern but I don't think the OP is ready for the tough love approach yet. She appears pretty raw and fragile at the moment and I imagine is feeling pretty down on herself. It takes a while to get out of that place and realise your worth again.

    OP,....... Leave the cleaning and go do something nice for yourself because you are worthy and deserve it. If your dh won't give it to you, you need to give it to yourself. Xxxx
    I appreciate that and not meaning to offend.
    Just from op posts doesn't seem she is listening?
    I've been there myself and had a close friend in a very similar situation to op I can empathise for sure.
    Maybe some of the replies are from people who know of this lady on this forum, where as I'm only new here. Just my outside opinion and it's sad if people are trying to help and are genuinely concerned and no one is listening.
    I'll say no more

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