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  1. #51
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    Just wanted to send you a big hug. Please listen to all the PP and get out.

  2. #52
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    He ended up walking around the rest of the night with head phones on listening to his music.
    He then left his phone. On charge in the room where I was and went for a swim while he was in the pool his phone went off he received a message from a mate of his.....I didn't touch his phone just looked at what came up on the front of his screen the partial message that you could see on the front screen was (are your clothes dry yet) he had washed his work clothes and hung them out to dry so from what I could tell from the message was that he was texting his mate constantly and he told him the he was leaving and that he was going to this mates place.. and would head off as soon as his work clothes where dry...

    Later on I walk in on him packing his suit cases and I asked what are you doing he said I have had enough I'm going.....

    We ended up arguing again while he still packed.....I got angry that this whole thing came from know where and that he was going to put us through this all again.....He walked out on.me and the kids a year and a half ago because I didn't like the fact that when he want away for work I knew that he would gamble....He has had a gambling problem for years and drinking helps the craving to gamble ..

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  3. #53
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    As hard as it is, it better he leaves! You are better than this... I was a single mum because I left my exdp as he was the same.. And my life was so bloody easy without him putting me down! This is your chance to get your life back and start being happy!! This is your turning point and time to take charge of your life! Stay positive and you won't even know yourself! Your happy self!

  4. #54
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    Good to hear the update. You don't need this person in your life treating you and the children in this manner. Please start calling some of the services pp's have given you. You need to start planning for your future. Huge hugs
    Last edited by BbBbBh; 10-02-2014 at 09:28.

  5. #55
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    Good ! Let him leave ! Change the locks while he's gone and don't let him back in ! What an a*****e ! To me it looks like he picked a fight so he would have an excuse to leave.

  6. #56
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    He ended up walking around the rest of the night with head phones on listening to his music.
    He then left his phone. On charge in the room where I was and went for a swim while he was in the pool his phone went off he received a message from a mate of his.....I didn't touch his phone just looked at what came up on the front of his screen the partial message that you could see on the front screen was (are your clothes dry yet) he had washed his work clothes and hung them out to dry so from what I could tell from the message was that he was texting his mate constantly and he told him the he was leaving and that he was going to this mates place.. and would head off as soon as his work clothes where dry...

    Later on I walk in on him packing his suit cases and I asked what are you doing he said I have had enough I'm going.....

    We ended up arguing again while he still packed.....I got angry that this whole thing came from know where and that he was going to put us through this all again.....He walked out on.me and the kids a year and a half ago because I didn't like the fact that when he want away for work I knew that he would gamble....He has had a gambling problem for years and drinking helps the craving to gamble ..

    I had ago at him about when he was in hospital I was at his bedside every chance I got.....When I had to have tests done and received the results he didn't even ask about my results or how I went he told me that he didn't care.


    He told. Me that if he could rekindle a relationship with an ex of his he would be with her instead of me in a heart beat.

    I told him that I can't believe that he is going to put us and our kids through this again and that last time this happened I dint deal with it very well and lost a lot of weight I went from a size 16 to and 10 in 2 months.
    And I went into a very dark.place and considered killing myself but then hated myself after because I didn't have the guts to do it.

    He told me he didn't care.

    So now I have in my head over and over again from our last split . Him telling me that

    (I don't love you the way you think I do)

    (The thing that I did wrong is that I am still breathing)

    ( that he would rather be with his ex).....

    I can't stop crying it hurts so much....

    I turned to my daughter when he finally walked out last nigh I was in tears to her for a while then all of a sudden he walked back in ..

    I emotionally could take any more so I walked away out to the lounge room he laid on our bed and watched TV.....I was awake until 3am then finally went to bed. He got up went to work to his bags out of the car so that he could get dressed and left them in the bedroom floor and went to work....

    So now he is at work distracted by work for the day from what happened and I am left at home having his words go over and over in my head..

    Why do people hurt other people why do we do it to family and hurt.the ones that your suppose to love.


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  7. #57
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    Give yourself one day of grieving and feeling down then get on with your life. Do something fabulously decedent for yourself. New hair, make up, nails, clothes.... Get out and connect with some friends, volunteer, do a chocolate making course, cooking course or join a walking group. Forget about what has happened in the past, don't worry about the future... Just live in the here and now and work on your self esteem because it took a bit of battering recently and you obviously need to recognise and remember how great you are... This too shall pass ❤️❤️

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  9. #58
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    Please seek help from somewhere if you feel unable to get a handle on things right now.
    I've been there where you are and had a friend go through it too and the bottom line is you need to leave this toxic relationship if you ever want a different life.
    He has proven he won't change and you've given all you've got.
    It won't be easy at all so you need someone to support you. I was lucky to have my mother, I hope that you have someone to lean on or can find a counsellor or someone to help you.
    My ex was also (still is) an alcoholic and a liar. We had two kids together and I wasted 5 years of my life trying to be enough to fix him. He was my first boyfriend, first everything and I wanted more than anything to make it work but the only thing we can change in life is ourselves and the kind of life we want.
    I hope you choose a happy one away from this dysfunctional man.

  10. #59
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    PLEASE talk to someone at the DV hotline. PLEASE leave or start to make plans to leave him. You do not need his negativity in your life. Your kids do not need to see you crying and distraught. They need happiness and a settled home life.

    If you won't make the changes for yourself, please make it for your children. They do not need the conflict.

    If you are worried about having nothing when you leave, I have seen the wonderful ladies on BH willing to give so much in the past (including furniture), to help you re-establish a new and happy life for yourself and your children.

    He is not good for you. He is not good for your mental health. I hope you can take the difficult steps for you and your children to get away from him.

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    BbBbBh  (10-02-2014)

  12. #60
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    So after that epic melt down and saying some really awful stuff over absolutely nothing, he didn't actually go?

    If it were me he would find his stuff in the bathroom along with all his clothes in garbage bags by the locked front door! I understand you love him, but this is going to keep happening over and over OP. You are further reinforcing the behaviour and his sense of being right by asking him to stay. He has learned that all he has to do is blow up like a lunatic, and be abusive and you will fall into line and beg him to stay.

    Be strong for both you and your children.
    Last edited by delirium; 10-02-2014 at 15:04. Reason: I really should learn to proof read :/

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    Bluebirdgirl  (10-02-2014),btmacxxx  (10-02-2014),callmedragon22  (10-02-2014),gizmoduckus  (10-02-2014),Lauzy  (10-02-2014),PurpleButterfly4  (10-02-2014),Rose&Aurelia&Hannah  (10-02-2014),Serenity Love  (10-02-2014),Smyles  (10-02-2014),TimeForWine  (20-02-2014)


 

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